Kind of realised i was the rebound, is that it now?

[Ginin]

So i started talking to an old friend last year who ive known from school (she used to like me when we were younger) and she instantly developed deep feelings for me (we are both 22) i told her i woudnt take us further unless she leaves her cheating boyfriend which she did, and we rapidly hit it off.. i always knew she had a thing for me and is incredibly attracted to me.. she was alot more attached than i was and her family always said to her that hes too good for you blabla but i never thought much of it.. i was a little naive and didnt really think about if it was a rebound or not. She never brought up her ex and i do believe she is over him.. she started saying i love you very early and even said shes gonna marry me and have my kids. It kind of felt a bit surreal but i always kept a bit of a distance because subconsiously i felt that it was a little too surreal.

 

She wanted me to go on holidays with her family which i refused as i thought it was too early l, i spent alot of time with her family and everything seemed to go a little fast but i wasnt complaining as i thought she just really loved me and part of me genuinly believes that.

 

After 11 months when she started going to uni and got busier with work i felt a bit of distance from her.. she was in a bad place when i met her and i feel like i got her confidence up as shes very insecure and doesnt really think highly of herself i always treated her well even though i didnt fully open up and kept a bit of distance like i said.

 

She called me up one day and just ended it out of nowhere and i was devasted, i gave her a week and told her i needed to speak to her and get some closure.. i tried to convince her back but she seemed so cold and over me and just wasnt having it, we ended up sleeping together one last time and after that she started crying and saying how i was the best thing ever and that she still needs to hear my voice and please dont make it obvious that youre seeing someone so she went home and i began NC

 

Its been about 5 weeks and im in a better place than i was a month ago, shes tried to message me 3-4 times to see how im doing and to compliment me on my new hairstyle but ive ignored them.. my gut tells me she will want me back in the future but im not counting on it i dont know if i could accept her back..

 

Just felt like i wanted a bit of advise. Thanks x

[BAcK]

This is a clear case of a rebound. She got in a relationship with you instantly after leaving her ex. As such, she transferred all her feelings she had for him towards you which is not a good sign.

 

When things move too fast you should know that there is something wrong. True relationships are built with time and in your case she got close too you too soon.

 

She wanted to fill the void left by her ex and she did it with you. Basically, there comes a time when she will miss her ex again as she is not completely over him and from thereon her feelings for you will fade as she has history with him.

 

Moreover, you guys did not spend enough time together so it was easier for her to break up. She might have checked out of the relationship long back before you knew. There is a possibility that she may get back with her ex.

 

Technically she used you without even being aware of it. But i find it really mean to use someine just to get over someone else.

From here you have to maintain NC. Do not respond to her.

She may try to get back with you in the future but I guess you wouldn't want to get back with someone who treated you as a makeshift BF. You should move on and look for someone who loves you truly.

Edited December 1, 2016 by BAcK

[fromheart]

Bullet dodged, there's probably someone else in the picture. Best to maintain NC and move on. Even if you did get back with her, chances are the same thing will happen again.

[Satu]

This was a classic rebound relationship, in which you functioned as a lifeboat for her.

 

Avoid getting involved with people who are newly single.

 

 

Take care.

[Ginin]

This is a clear case of a rebound. She got in a relationship with you instantly after leaving her ex. As such, she transferred all her feelings she had for him towards you which is not a good sign.

 

When things move too fast you should know that there is something wrong. True relationships are built with time and in your case she got close too you too soon.

 

She wanted to fill the void left by her ex and she did it with you. Basically, there comes a time when she will miss her ex again as she is not completely over him and from thereon her feelings for you will fade as she has history with him.

 

Moreover, you guys did not spend enough time together so it was easier for her to break up. She might have checked out of the relationship long back before you knew. There is a possibility that she may get back with her ex.

 

Technically she used you without even being aware of it. But i find it really mean to use someine just to get over someone else.

From here you have to maintain NC. Do not respond to her.

She may try to get back with you in the future but I guess you wouldn't want to get back with someone who treated you as a makeshift BF. You should move on and look for someone who loves you truly.

 

 

Thank you and i fully agree with this, just one thing.. i know her well and feel like im her perfect suit in everyway from looks to personality to how are families are... is it just the case of we met at the wrong time.. will she just completely forget about me just because we met at the wrong time? Will it ever get to a point where she realises shes lost the best thing she could have ?

[Satu]

Thank you and i fully agree with this, just one thing.. i know her well and feel like im her perfect suit in everyway from looks to personality to how are families are... is it just the case of we met at the wrong time.. will she just completely forget about me just because we met at the wrong time? Will it ever get to a point where she realises shes lost the best thing she could have ?

 

None of that is knowable.

 

Just focus on yourself, and if you're meant to be together, you will be.

 

 

Take care.

[BAcK]

None of that is knowable.

 

Just focus on yourself, and if you're meant to be together, you will be.

 

 

Take care.

Totally right. If you are meant to be together, you will be.