Do you think it's cold to go no contact with an EMOTIONAL AFFAIR partner?

[Privatelady677]

My sister has been a part of an EA for almost 4 years however has decided to end things w/o explanation to this man...Just choosing to keep her distance and hoping it'll just naturally fade away....Personally, I don't think she owes this married man any explaination...but I would like to know other thoughts and opinions on this situation?

[Lady2163]

You know your sister and her personality. Is she running away from the problem by not actually ending it formally?

 

If it was truly a mutual emotional connection, then I do think it is pretty awful to do an unexplained silent treatment.

[Chica80]

After 4 years I would like an explanation. A simple explanation. It's over I wish you well or I can't anymore......whatever the reason may be.

 

Short and simple. But after that long yes.

[Privatelady677]

He's had his hot and cold moments with her plenty of times throughout these years...and it's not like he's supporting her financially.....merely a lot of flirting and sweet words via text and sometimes via phone. She now loves an hour and a half away.....

 

She is the type that is pretty vocal but has her times she shuts down when stressed....I think he contributes to some of the times when her thinking isn't straight...he is an emotional/mental manipulator

[Scorpio Chick]

I think it is 'cold' but under the circumstances of an affair, it's a good thing to do, maybe appropriate even. It's not an honorable situation.

[Lady2163]

I think it is 'cold' but under the circumstances of an affair, it's a good thing to do, maybe appropriate even. It's not an honorable situation.

 

What I wonder is: without closure, will she seek him out in the future to "explain" why she went no contact and then open up the situation all over again?

 

To head that off, I'd suggest an actual ending.

[MJJean]

I don't think it's cold at all. He's a married man having a 4 year EA with another woman. The nicest thing she can do is just ghost him. Actual cold would be ghosting him and then sending proof of the EA to his wife and everyone in both their families. If she merely ghosts him he should count himself lucky.

[aileD]

No it's not cruel.

 

Cruel is cheating on your wife for four years

 

Cruel is sleeping with another woman's husband for four years.

 

She is doing the right thing and moving on, she owes him nothing because he gave her nothing.

[whichwayisup]

just for her own peace of mind, she should send a text or an email saying that she no longer is happy having an affair and it's over. She can wish him well, and ask for him to not contact her..if he does contact her, all contact will be ignored.

[eye of the storm]

Maybe with her personality type and his. She knows if she sends a goodbye text it will open the door for him to beg, argue, or get ugly with her.

 

So for her peace of mind she is ghosting. If that is how she feels she should end it. Then that is the right thing.

 

Getting out of an A is hard. I wouldn't pressure her to do it any way but the way she feels is best for her.

[Scorpio Chick]

What I wonder is: without closure, will she seek him out in the future to "explain" why she went no contact and then open up the situation all over again?

 

To head that off, I'd suggest an actual ending.

 

"Closure" is a myth. The only person that will have any 'true' or, 'justified', if you will, suffering, will be the wife that was cheated on - if she loves her husband.

 

Really, the feelings, thoughts, emotional health, etc...of the husband cheating and his AP do not matter regarding this...at all.

 

Any pain I feel over what I did, (no physical, but I guess you could call it EA) were earned by me and me alone. I deserve it.