Author Dis Posted December 17, 2016 Author Posted December 17, 2016 Hi guys! I dont want to make a big deal out of this I'm just curious about outside perspectives He reached out to me on match, and on the second day of talking, he asked if I'd like to go out with him. I said I'd like that and that I'd be free after the 12th (which was two weeks ahead) because my finals would be over by then He said that worked perfectly for him because his Mom's chemo appointments would be over by that point too. He also works a lot...wakes up at 5am Monday-Friday...he's in the aerospace industry Since then, he's kept up consistent communication, lots of thoughtful texts, good convo. After the past year of dating all types of guys I've learned to read a man pretty well...even through the beginning stages of texting. From what he talks about, I like the way he thinks and have a good feeling about him. He asked a lot about me too, it would be a red flag for me if a guy didnt. He reminds me of myself...thoughtful, humble, not a mult-dater, kind, geniune, looking for a serious long-term relationship....he's refreshing I've been on match for a year and in the past 4 months, I've never answered a single message I recieved. I'm not in a rush and I'm not actively looking. The only reason why I messaged him back was because he stood out...there's something about him that I feel good about. I'm not really serious about dating right now...if it happens it happens...so I like feeling more laid back about it So when the 12th rolled around I texted him that I was done with finals and asked when he wanted to meet up. He said he wasnt sure because he had a wedding 2 hours away that weekend (It was Monday) I've learned to be assertive in dating, and remember I'm the prize as many of you say. So I told him I dont like to postpone meeting up, that timing was important to me. He was sweet about that and said he might be able to meet up on Friday night. Later that week he texted me that he was so sorry but he's leaving town Friday night for the wedding So now...I'm a little annoyed. I made it more clear that I'd like some solid plans put into place which he was receptive to and told me to block off Tuesday and Wednsday. He asked me what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go. He gave some options too. I told him dinner would be nice. He said, perfect I forgot to tell him I'm not free on Wedensday so I assume I should tell him that sooner than later. I understand that he had important plans but I dont understand why he said after the 12th was perfect and then he turns out to be busy and that he cant seem to make solid plans even after I expressed to him thats important to me He said: "I know please don't cut me off or give up. I want to go out ASAP but I talked to my buddy today and we have to go up on Friday and I can't go out tomorrow night. Please just give me until next week. Or maybe even Sunday. I'm just saying please don't give up yet haha. I'm not trying to flake or waste time, I promise" Again, I'm not really worried about this...I'm just a little annoyed and want some opinions on how to proceed with this Thanks guys!
Author Dis Posted December 17, 2016 Author Posted December 17, 2016 Also...since I'm not too serious about dating right now...I'm not planning on seeing other men or going out on dates. He says he despises talking to or dating more than one girl at once so...theres not too much pressure, which I like
Popsicle Posted December 17, 2016 Posted December 17, 2016 Let it go. You guys both put it off. Tell him you forgot that you're busy Wednesday but that you'd love to go out after Christmas if he wants to set a firm date now. Then go if he sets a firm date, but if he doesn't then stop talking to him. It's BS to keep chatting/texting with a guy nonstop without meeting. It ruins things. 1
Author Dis Posted December 17, 2016 Author Posted December 17, 2016 Let it go. You guys both put it off. Tell him you forgot that you're busy Wednesday but that you'd love to go out after Christmas if he wants to set a firm date now. Then go if he sets a firm date, but if he doesn't then stop talking to him. It's BS to keep chatting/texting with a guy nonstop without meeting. It ruins things. Hi Pops I've never done this before. I usually meet up within a week of the first convo but my finals got in the way The only reason why I'm not overly annoyed at this is because I'm not really concerned with dating right now I'm thinking about sending him a text now, an assertive text along the lines of...I'm not free Wednsday and would like a confimation about Tuesday or I walk (He said to block off Tuesday). How should I word this?
Author Dis Posted December 17, 2016 Author Posted December 17, 2016 Hi Pops I've never done this before. I usually meet up within a week of the first convo but my finals got in the way The only reason why I'm not overly annoyed at this is because I'm not really concerned with dating right now I'm thinking about sending him a text now, an assertive text along the lines of...I'm not free Wednsday and would like a confimation about Tuesday or I walk (He said to block off Tuesday). How should I word this? Actually, I think I'll just send a short text telling him I'm free on Tuesday but not on Wednesday and leave it at that I dont want to be pushy...he should be setting dates/making plans...i shouldnt have to push for him to do that
Author Dis Posted December 17, 2016 Author Posted December 17, 2016 Let it go. You guys both put it off. Tell him you forgot that you're busy Wednesday but that you'd love to go out after Christmas if he wants to set a firm date now. Then go if he sets a firm date, but if he doesn't then stop talking to him. It's BS to keep chatting/texting with a guy nonstop without meeting. It ruins things. I sent him a text saying, "Hey I'm not free Wednesday but I'm free Tuesday if you want to make plans now." He's at a wedding right now so he'll probably take awhile to get back to me but I just want to get it going or get out
Author Dis Posted December 18, 2016 Author Posted December 18, 2016 I sent him a text saying, "Hey I'm not free Wednesday but I'm free Tuesday if you want to make plans now." He's at a wedding right now so he'll probably take awhile to get back to me but I just want to get it going or get out I sent him this text last night Havent heard back from him...he's probably on his way home from the wedding now Am I over reacting about all this? Or should I cut him a little slack?
Popsicle Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 Disillusionment, sorry I am late returning to this thread. Did it all work out for you?
Kellens Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 I hope this worked out well. I would be annoyed too, I hate the wishy washy plans or when someone changes plans a day before the date is supposed to happen. I know some people or busier than others but in my experience, when a man is interested he will make sure to keep plans or set something definite up. Let us know how it went!
GunslingerRoland Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 The reason why he sent you his number was when he texts/calls you you know its him. Just save his contact details and wait. This was my thought, a lot of people screen their calls and texts.
Mystique01 Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 Hi Pops I've never done this before. I usually meet up within a week of the first convo but my finals got in the way The only reason why I'm not overly annoyed at this is because I'm not really concerned with dating right now I'm thinking about sending him a text now, an assertive text along the lines of...I'm not free Wednsday and would like a confimation about Tuesday or I walk (He said to block off Tuesday). How should I word this? Wow....well, I think maybe you should chill out a little bit and wait until he comes back from his out of town wedding. You know, this time of year can be pretty busy for some people. Holiday trips, visiting family, buying presents, having errands to run, etc. I mean, it's not like you two are bf/gf yet. I wouldn't "demand" anything of him right now. Just wait a bit and see what he does after Christmas/NYE time. I sent him this text last night Havent heard back from him...he's probably on his way home from the wedding now Am I over reacting about all this? Or should I cut him a little slack? My guess is that your over-thinking is getting the best of you right now. It sucks that he had to change plans, but going out of town for a wedding is a pretty big deal. I don't think I would have nailed down a date before his coming back from out of town. I think you should cut him a little slack, and just lean back and see what he does on his OWN initiative when he gets back into town/after the holidays. It will be obvious if this guy is just a flaker. Right now though, it seems like he's into you.... But if you continue to be demanding and flustered so easily, he might feel that you are putting a bit too much pressure and may end up shying away. I would just wait a week or two and see what he does. You two haven't met in person yet.... So just chill and see what he does. I would just go about your business as normal, even meet some other guys if you want, but definitely don't be demanding or asserting too much in the beginning. That's a bit much....even for a regular platonic friendship. People had lives before they met you (or others) they're trying to date. I say just wait and see what he does on his own initiative. No need to send anymore text messages. He knows your number. Just be patient. You'll know soon enough whether he's truly into you, or whether he's just blowing smoke.
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