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I know I shouldn't...

Minka101

By Minka101
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Minka101 Established Member

Minka101

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Why not? You offered Sunday, why didn't you offer a specific time and location?

You hate being left in limbo with no time and place but you are guilty of doing it as well.

 

I dont know why. I just thought Sunday might work for both of us and we can agree on the time and location later this week. He will also have a chance to actually contact me during the week and confirm the time and location earlier.

winny Established Member

winny

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You are making it more complicated than it has to be.

Send him a time and location for Sunday right now and set the date up.

 

Also next time when someone says they are looking up a restaurant n will get back to you, text back - thanks n plz confirm the restaurant name to me by noon at the latest so that it gives me enough time to plan my studies.

 

Be specific n then u dont have to worry... It was late today so ok to cancel but for next time please confirm the specifics.

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Minka101 Established Member

Minka101

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You are making it more complicated than it has to be.

Send him a time and location for Sunday right now and set the date up.

 

Also next time when someone says they are looking up a restaurant n will get back to you, text back - thanks n plz confirm the restaurant name to me by noon at the latest so that it gives me enough time to plan my studies.

 

Be specific n then u dont have to worry... It was late today so ok to cancel but for next time please confirm the specifics.

 

Oh well... I had no idea this would turn into a story. It was supposed to be a date.

Well, after, I cancelled Monday due to him conforming late and I had to study we rescheduled for Sunday. He texted me on Friday to confirm (lesson learned) and we chatted a bit. Today, he texted me asking if we could move the date for a non snowy day. Wtf?

It is snowing and it will get worse (snow storm tonight) but still....

I just replied sure, it is bad enough already.

 

I lost interest and he doesnt seem too interested either.

Is snow storm a valid reason?

Dis Established Member

Dis

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Oh well... I had no idea this would turn into a story. It was supposed to be a date.

Well, after, I cancelled Monday due to him conforming late and I had to study we rescheduled for Sunday. He texted me on Friday to confirm (lesson learned) and we chatted a bit. Today, he texted me asking if we could move the date for a non snowy day. Wtf?

It is snowing and it will get worse (snow storm tonight) but still....

I just replied sure, it is bad enough already.

 

I lost interest and he doesnt seem too interested either.

Is snow storm a valid reason?

 

I've been following this thread

 

This is just too much work

 

You two aren't jiving/meshing...it shouldnt be this difficult

 

Move on to the next Minka :)

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Minka101 Established Member

Minka101

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I've been following this thread

 

This is just too much work

 

You two aren't jiving/meshing...it shouldnt be this difficult

 

Move on to the next Minka :)

 

Yeah, right...

It just made me feel like... nah whatever.

However, he did text me back and asked what day would work to reschedule. I am having my finals this week and told him next Monday (in 8 days). I honestly dont care anymore, but also nothing to lose once my semester is over.

Dis Established Member

Dis

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Yeah, right...

It just made me feel like... nah whatever.

However, he did text me back and asked what day would work to reschedule. I am having my finals this week and told him next Monday (in 8 days). I honestly dont care anymore, but also nothing to lose once my semester is over.

 

I hear you

 

It just shouldnt be this back and forth...push and pull even with busy schedules

 

The guy I'm talking to now asked when I was free, I told him after tomorrow when my finals are over with....that was a week ago and we still seem to be on the same page...he keeps up communication and sends thoughtful texts...great convo between us...lots of interest on both sides which we're not afraid to be known

 

I just dont like how lukewarm your guy is. And how you two cant seem to get on the same page. If it was meant to work out it wouldnt be this arduous process just to set up a date

 

Move on to a guy thats not afraid to let you know he's into you and things between you flow organically

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Minka101 Established Member

Minka101

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I hear you

 

It just shouldnt be this back and forth...push and pull even with busy schedules

 

The guy I'm talking to now asked when I was free, I told him after tomorrow when my finals are over with....that was a week ago and we still seem to be on the same page...he keeps up communication and sends thoughtful texts...great convo between us...lots of interest on both sides which we're not afraid to be known

 

I just dont like how lukewarm your guy is. And how you two cant seem to get on the same page. If it was meant to work out it wouldnt be this arduous process just to set up a date

 

Move on to a guy thats not afraid to let you know he's into you and things between you flow organically

 

I know what you mean... but whatever. It is now up to him. Have fun on your date :)

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dispatch3d Established Member

dispatch3d

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If you didn't cancel the 2nd time a legit reason wouldn't have cancelled the third time and you'd be rolling. I think a snow storm is a legit reason to cancel a date, but not feeling up to it not as much. The more I read of this thread the less I want to reschedule on girls who cancel on me.

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Vado Established Member

Vado

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Sometimes I wonder if this is about dating or about a chess game, the guy you date (or girl for guys) is not a member of a rival team you have to beat for going to the second round, still many people see it this way.

 

Would it be wise to move my rock to position-x after he put his knight on position-x, so I have a better chance to win?

 

translation in to datinglanguage:

 

Would it be wise to text him after he still didn't call me to invite me for a second date?

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Kamille Established Member

Kamille

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Please learn from this: strong interest happens when two people hang out in person.

 

If you need someone who confirms dates and keeps contact, break things off instead of trying to teach your dates lessons.

 

Or, you could do as I do and not worry about "strong interest" until date 3. Strong interest happens when you hang out in person anyway, not when you text about scheduling dates.

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Minka101 Established Member

Minka101

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Well, you are right and I wanted to go to that second date. However... my last weeks of semsester are clvery busy and stressful (I know not his problem and maybe I should have waited for the semester to be over). So, when he didnt contact me to let me know where we were meeting, I found it disrespectful. I had to wonder if we were going, or he was going to flake or whatever... I, instead decided not to waste my time and study.

Anyway, he rescheduled the date, so I guess he is still interested. It is now week from today, but at least I will be free from school.

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biker23 Established Member

biker23

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sorry but Im laughing at this game.

 

Honestly this guy appears to be using some textbook dating methods from guys like Corey Wayne. Minimal texting, only use it to setup the next date, confirm the date and location the day of the date.

 

Supposedly creates mystery, keeps the woman interested (in your case anxiety and annoyance) and gives you plenty to talk about on the date.

 

Seriously I would go on the date and start a conversation and joke about the texting game. If he is really interested, it will be a funny discussion.

 

If it was truly from him being an idiot, you will figure that out too.

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Minka101 Established Member

Minka101

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Aghhhhhhh, where do I start?

 

So, after all games or whatever that was, we finally met for a second date. He picked the restaurant. It was really nice (nothing fancy, just nice). Date lasted from 8pm to 11pm and we had fun. I only had one drink and dinner. He had at least three drinks and dinner. BUT, when the check came, we split it. I dont mind paying for myself but, it is the first date (we met for drink the first time and he paid for it but it was two draft beers. HE invited me for a second date. He is the one who works with his PhD, Im a student. I got tufned off, but it is not a dealbreaker. I would be lying if I say I wasn't dissapointed.

Anyway, as the last time, I gave him a ride home. I think he was trying to ask me over. He asked if I had plans. I said it was 11pm, I dont have plans. He went quiet. I have to admit, I was little bitchy and cold. At the end, he hugged me, and said "maybe next time we could see a movie." I said sure.

Any thoughts about splitting bill/no kiss? Maybe, he wants to be friends. He is new in town. I would be surprised if he has any friends.

Edited by Minka101
winny Established Member

winny

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Minka, girl, you are getting wayyyy tooo invested... Dont bother so much.

You went out had a drink, split the bill... fine... chill... take it easy....

 

The guy's interest level isn't very high so you also keep it at same or even low level. Don't get pissed off and angry... Stay calm. Keep looking for other options.

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Minka101 Established Member

Minka101

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Minka, girl, you are getting wayyyy tooo invested... Dont bother so much.

You went out had a drink, split the bill... fine... chill... take it easy....

 

The guy's interest level isn't very high so you also keep it at same or even low level. Don't get pissed off and angry... Stay calm. Keep looking for other options.

 

I am not invested. Believe me. It's been 2-3 weeks after the first date and it also worked out perfectly well with my finals. I am just annoyed with how little effort guys put. I am not sayig every guy but... come on.

When I dropped him off, I couldnt bother take my seatbelt off, and I was completely guarded... just cant help myself.

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Minka101 Established Member

Minka101

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Just remember something now. I know it is only a detail, shouldnt be reading too much but... he is only temporarily in my city (not sure for how long 1-2 years, then he is either going back home or to California). So, I was talking about getting my Masters, and he asked me if it would have to be in my current city or if I was open to different options and schools. I just thought it was weird. That would be the last question, I could think of to ask someone.

Dis Established Member

Dis

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Aghhhhhhh, where do I start?

 

So, after all games or whatever that was, we finally met for a second date. He picked the restaurant. It was really nice (nothing fancy, just nice). Date lasted from 8pm to 11pm and we had fun. I only had one drink and dinner. He had at least three drinks and dinner. BUT, when the check came, we split it. I dont mind paying for myself but, it is the first date (we met for drink the first time and he paid for it but it was two draft beers. HE invited me for a second date. He is the one who works with his PhD, Im a student. I got tufned off, but it is not a dealbreaker. I would be lying if I say I wasn't dissapointed.

Anyway, as the last time, I gave him a ride home. I think he was trying to ask me over. He asked if I had plans. I said it was 11pm, I dont have plans. He went quiet. I have to admit, I was little bitchy and cold. At the end, he hugged me, and said "maybe next time we could see a movie." I said sure.

Any thoughts about splitting bill/no kiss? Maybe, he wants to be friends. He is new in town. I would be surprised if he has any friends.

 

This is what happens when things dont flow organically

 

I'm sorry girl. I know you're disappointed. I would be too. But this was a no go from the beginning..it was just too forced

 

IMO, its tacky he made you split the bill when his dinner and drinks cost more than yours....and he makes more than you...ugh :sick:

 

Things shouldnt be this difficult early on. I think I mentioned (dont know if it was this thread or not) I was talking to a guy...all was going very well...smooth sailing...then things started to get bumpy...I could feel him drifting so I just let him go

 

If a guy really wants you he'll let it be known...if not through texts then he'll make it clear when he sees you...as in being a gentleman and paying at least half

 

Pls do yourself a favor and let him go. This is just a hassle at this point

 

Dont worry girl, plenty of fish in the sea :)

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Minka101 Established Member

Minka101

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This is what happens when things dont flow organically

 

I'm sorry girl. I know you're disappointed. I would be too. But this was a no go from the beginning..it was just too forced

 

IMO, its tacky he made you split the bill when his dinner and drinks cost more than yours....and he makes more than you...ugh :sick:

 

Things shouldnt be this difficult early on. I think I mentioned (dont know if it was this thread or not) I was talking to a guy...all was going very well...smooth sailing...then things started to get bumpy...I could feel him drifting so I just let him go

 

If a guy really wants you he'll let it be known...if not through texts then he'll make it clear when he sees you...as in being a gentleman and paying at least half

 

Pls do yourself a favor and let him go. This is just a hassle at this point

 

Dont worry girl, plenty of fish in the sea :)

 

I know I couldnt agree more. It is just as all of a sudden, I am dealing with this kind of guys. It is annoying.

 

Why did he ask to see a movie? Should I just tell him no if he asks me out again, or give him a chance? We didnt even kiss (not that I blame him, I was completely cold and not interested).

Kamille Established Member

Kamille

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You say you're not invested and that you were feeling cold and uninterested.

 

If that is the case, why would you go see a movie?

 

Are you acting with authenticity with this guy? Surely you must know whether or not you'd like to see him again.

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Minka101 Established Member

Minka101

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You say you're not invested and that you were feeling cold and uninterested.

 

If that is the case, why would you go see a movie?

 

Are you acting with authenticity with this guy? Surely you must know whether or not you'd like to see him again.

 

I wanted to see him. I liked him on date 1. But then, he doesnt really keep in touch in meantime. We kept rescheduling date 2. It took us more then 2 weeks to meet again. And now, I got annoyed we split check. Dinner was his idea. So, I am annoyed but I liked him. And our dates lasted 3 hours each time. So, we definitely are comfortable with each other.

Oh, and I was cold because I was annoyed at the end of the night.

winny Established Member

winny

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I wanted to see him. I liked him on date 1. But then, he doesnt really keep in touch in meantime. We kept rescheduling date 2. It took us more then 2 weeks to meet again. And now, I got annoyed we split check. Dinner was his idea. So, I am annoyed but I liked him. And our dates lasted 3 hours each time. So, we definitely are comfortable with each other.

 

Let go of this annoyance and anger. Else it will keep on adding and then one day you will burst.

And that will happen if you keep seeing this guy and he does these little things which you don't like but you still meet him and then suppose for 5 days he doesn't text you then you will let all the anger out at a time on him and then he will dump you.

So either you don't see him anymore or if you want to see him then just let it all go n be chill n then see him.

My suggestion - Don't see him anymore. It's just been 2 dates, no kiss, would be easy to let go.

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Dis Established Member

Dis

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I know I couldnt agree more. It is just as all of a sudden, I am dealing with this kind of guys. It is annoying.

 

Why did he ask to see a movie? Should I just tell him no if he asks me out again, or give him a chance? We didnt even kiss (not that I blame him, I was completely cold and not interested).

 

You say you're not invested and that you were feeling cold and uninterested.

 

If that is the case, why would you go see a movie?

 

Are you acting with authenticity with this guy? Surely you must know whether or not you'd like to see him again.

 

Kamille is right, dont just agree to see him again if you're not interested

 

Just because he's the only guy in the picture right now doesnt mean he's worth your time

 

I'd be totally turned off..I wouldve let him go awhile ago while all the back and forth was going on

 

This is an uphill battle...do you really want to keep fighting???

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