I know I shouldn't...

[smackie9]

Just my experience and I have said this many times....I never had a negative reaction to being an aggressive woman, not being afraid to show my interest, touching flirting, telling them they are too cute, etc. Usually I got asked out at the end of the date or the next day, a couple of times with flowers being delivered with a note. I even set up dates to meet up for drinks, etc.....it didn't scare anyone away.

 

I agree that there are ways to show interest without looking desperate. Showing your appreciation, letting them know you enjoyed yourself, proper communication, reciprocation, show enthusiasm, ....you will have in the bag np.

[dispatch3d]

A lot of men ask for numbers and never call. It's just a challenge for them to get numbers and have no intent of following up.

 

Some men call the following day but will disappear after your 3rd date.

 

Some men don't call the following day but will in 2-3 days and you end up dating them regularly.

 

Some men don't call right away because they follow stupid dating rules.

 

And some men do not call because they need the woman to give them a big green light that she would like for him to call.

 

Did he pay for the date? Did you contact him to thank him? You should always thank your date if he paid, even if you don't want to see him again. It's basic courtesy.

 

If this guy paid than send him a text: Thank you again for treating me last night, I had a good time and I'd be happy to do this again.

 

I can demistify this a little bit. Lots of girls give out their number pretty eagerly and easily. That doesn't say you aren't going to get dicked around at the next step. I've gotten plenty of numbers and had them go cold when attempting to get the girl to go to something, etc. Mind you I wasn't asking them out on dates like I should have been. So there have been times when I got a girls number then didn't bother calling as the vibe I got from her wasn't a green go light, but instead a meh this guy is alright. If you really like a guy and want to make sure you stay in contact get his number at the same time, and text him if he doesn't message you in a few days. Most guys would be very surprised if you took this initiative and I for one would like it.

[dispatch3d]

Isnt it weird that we dont keep in touch between dates. We had the 1st date, three days later he contacts me and after a small chit chat asks me out again-conversation done. I assume he will contact me again to let me know what restaurant he picked and to confirm the date.

Does this mean his interest is mediocre?

 

The majority of girls talk and text way more than guys. So you shouldn't be that surprised if his texting is limited. I have never spent a lot of time texting my guy friends, although I do know SOME guys that do that the majority of them just don't. If a guy is texting you a bunch yes he is into you, and he probably realizes girls like being chatted with a bunch. That said it doesn't mean that just because your phone isn't getting blown up that he isn't interested. Girls who don't like you really don't appreciate getting their phones blown up.

 

Other posters in the past have said this means you have different communication styles and aren't compatible. I really don't think of texting as the crux of any relationship, just like facebook, twitter, etc. isn't either. They are a means of communicating, but ultimately you'll learn far more on a date than 2 months of texting. Some guys realize this and start just going for dates.

[Minka101]

Ok, so we went out on Tuesday. He texted on Friday to set up another date. We agreed on Mon 8pm (today). He said he would research restaurants and let me know. Havent heard from him since Friday. It is 2pm now and I still dont have the name of the restaurant.

Should I be pissed? Please dont tell me to contact him becasue if he said he wpuld do it, then he has to and let me know.

I am on the verge of cancelling this second date. I anyway have so much studying to do and this just doesnt seem right.

[winny]

Ok, so we went out on Tuesday. He texted on Friday to set up another date. We agreed on Mon 8pm (today). He said he would research restaurants and let me know. Havent heard from him since Friday. It is 2pm now and I still dont have the name of the restaurant.

Should I be pissed? Please dont tell me to contact him becasue if he said he wpuld do it, then he has to and let me know.

I am on the verge of cancelling this second date. I anyway have so much studying to do and this just doesnt seem right.

He should have confirmed by now... Seems like a flake. This is him showing his character to you so you decide whether you want to be associated with someone like this.

[Minka101]

He should have confirmed by now... Seems like a flake. This is him showing his character to you so you decide whether you want to be associated with someone like this.

Yeah, I am staying home to study. Even if he calls, I will tell him I already made other plans.

At this point, I am not interested anymore (initial excitement faded away) and I prefer to focus on studying.

[winny]

That phd from Ivy league isnt helping him to keep his word??? Lol

[Minka101]

That phd from Ivy league isnt helping him to keep his word??? Lol

 

Hahahaha, I guess not. I dont even feel bad. I felt guilty wasting my time when I should be studying. And I have the feeling he will text me few hours before the date

[Minka101]

Ok, he just texted me sending me the link of the restaurant. What do I do? I am so over lukewarm guys. Was this disrespectful? I have to study and not sure he is worth my time anymore.

Please anyone

[olivetree]

So is it about 4pm where you are now? 4 hours till you were supposed to meet up and you just got the location?

 

It would bug me that he hasn't been in contact at all, leaving you wondering and not really keeping the relationship going. That does seem lukewarm.

 

Even if he was really interested, he doesn't seem like a very good communicator or thoughtful.

 

When a guy doesn't keep the relationship going, I lose interest. And I would cancel the date because I can't get comfortable going out with a guy who isn't really excited to see me.

[Minka101]

So is it about 4pm where you are now? 4 hours till you were supposed to meet up and you just got the location?

 

It would bug me that he hasn't been in contact at all, leaving you wondering and not really keeping the relationship going. That does seem lukewarm.

 

Even if he was really interested, he doesn't seem like a very good communicator or thoughtful.

 

When a guy doesn't keep the relationship going, I lose interest. And I would cancel the date because I can't get comfortable going out with a guy who isn't really excited to see me.

 

I am not sure if he is not interested or not good communicator. I would like to find out but on the other hand I am soooo busy. Not sure if it is worth it. I am home, just got back from school. The place he suggested is 20 min away. I still have to respond.....

[olivetree]

I am not sure if he is not interested or not good communicator. I would like to find out but on the other hand I am soooo busy. Not sure if it is worth it. I am home, just got back from school. The place he suggested is 20 min away. I still have to respond.....

 

I like to date guys that leave little room for doubt. However, since it is early days and you were quite interested after the first date, maybe just give him a second date and see if he steps up his game.

 

Perhaps better to find out than to wonder later?

[Minka101]

I like to date guys that leave little room for doubt. However, since it is early days and you were quite interested after the first date, maybe just give him a second date and see if he steps up his game.

 

Perhaps better to find out than to wonder later?

 

Yeah maybe. Just I am not in the mood for a date now.

[olivetree]

That is reasonable. You should do what you feel.

 

He left you hanging. You can just say that you hadn't heard from him and are now in study mode. If you want to reschedule you can.

[Minka101]

I decided not to meet him. What do I text him? I might be willing to meet him another day but today, I prefer to stay in and finish my work.

[Minka101]

My weekend was ok, thanks. How was yours?

I hadn't heard from you and I decided to stay longer at school. I have to catch up with studying later. I would be happy to reschedule for another day.

 

How does this sound?

[olivetree]

My weekend was ok, thanks. How was yours?

I hadn't heard from you and I decided to stay longer at school. I have to catch up with studying later. I would be happy to reschedule for another day.

 

How does this sound?

 

Sounds great.

[Kamille]

What a slippery slope you are on. Either cancel the date and agree never to see him again or go on the date tonight.

 

Otherwise, you're playing games. You're setting yourself up for some more of these anxious attempts trying to decode his motives.

 

Personally, I would go on the date. It's date 2. You're still getting to know each other. Who cares if he's still lukewarm at this point?

[olivetree]

What a slippery slope you are on. Either cancel the date and agree never to see him again or go on the date tonight.

 

Otherwise, you're playing games.

 

It doesn't sound like she really cares if they don't see each other again and she has to study.

[Kamille]

It doesn't sound like she really cares if they don't see each other again and she has to study.

 

Right. Then she shouldn't offer to reschedule.

[Minka101]

Right. Then she shouldn't offer to reschedule.

 

Well, I offered to reschedule because I am busy (even though I agreed to see him today, I am not willing to put extra effort into it at this point). Lets say, I put off my studying, fall behind and then he disappears after the 2nd date. It would be lose lose situation for me.

Now, if he acted interested and I saw some effort on his part, I wouldnt mind doing the same.

[Minka101]

Of course! Good luck with studying. Sorry I didn't get back to you earlier. Let me know which day works best for you. Stay warm on this chilly December day.

 

His reply. What now?

[Kamille]

Well, I offered to reschedule because I am busy (even though I agreed to see him today, I am not willing to put extra effort into it at this point). Lets say, I put off my studying, fall behind and then he disappears after the 2nd date. It would be lose lose situation for me.

Now, if he acted interested and I saw some effort on his part, I wouldnt mind doing the same.

 

At date 2? You're still getting to know the guy. What's with all the talk of "effort" so soon? Is this a battle of who could care less? Good news, I think you're winning.

 

And... How well did this work for you anyway?

 

 

Of course! Good luck with studying. Sorry I didn't get back to you earlier. Let me know which day works best for you. Stay warm on this chilly December day.

 

 

You're now in the position of having to set up the next date. Now you get to make all the effort.

 

 

 

In you shoes, I would flat out come back with a date idea and a day. Save you from the boring text convos people usually have trying to set up dates. Those are definitely rarely conducive to building attraction.

[Minka101]

At date 2? You're still getting to know the guy. What's with all the talk of "effort" so soon? Is this a battle of who could care less? Good news, I think you're winning.

 

And... How well did this work for you anyway?

 

 

 

 

 

You're now in the position of having to set up the next date. Now you get to make all the effort.

 

 

 

In you shoes, I would flat out come back with a date idea and a day. Save you from the boring text convos people usually have trying to set up dates. Those are definitely rarely conducive to building attraction.

 

When I said "effort" I meant being more respectful of my time, confirming the date little earlier and letting me know the location (not 4 hours before).

And If I didnt have an important exam, I would have agreed to see him. Also, if he contacted me earlier, I would have kept my promise and go see him.

But after thinking about it, I decided that my exam was more important.

 

 

Anyway, I suggested Sunday and he said it worked for him. We didnt set up time and place tho.

[Gaeta]

Anyway, I suggested Sunday and he said it worked for him. We didnt set up time and place tho.

 

Why not? You offered Sunday, why didn't you offer a specific time and location?

You hate being left in limbo with no time and place but you are guilty of doing it as well.