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taking advantage?

soconfused91

By soconfused91
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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soconfused91 New Member

soconfused91

Posted
Posted

Me and my ex boyfriend broke up about 9 months ago. I will admit it was my fault I was still communicating with an ex when I shouldn't have been. I have been trying to make things right between us ever since. He doesn't seem interested in getting back together although we have remained friends. We have occasionally slept together and I even fell pregnant this past summer. I was involved with another ex and a small chance he could of fathered the child as well although he knew this. Prior to finding out I was pregnant I found texts to his kids mother saying he loved and missed her during the same week I believe I conceived.

After a week of knowing I was pregnant he completely switched up talking abortion, I guess him and his bm made up. I unfortunately ended up miscarrying which he probably wanted we didn't speak for a month before he reached out apologizing saying he didn't want me to hate him.

 

We have remained in contact since and have been sexually involved. And has told me he is not interested in a relationship. Funny thing is he seems to want all the benefits of one. Texting almost daily, having sex, giving him money, etc. I feel he is using me, he seems so selfish now. It's been a week since I seen him and he very distant. I tried texting a couple days ago and he responded once then never text back. I'm sure he'll be back around. When he does should I ignore him for a few days or just go no contact for a lot longer?

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Survivor12 Established Member

Survivor12

Posted
Posted

To put it in the kindest way possible--move on & find someone who cares about you. Exes are exes for a reason.

 

You are not friends. You want a relationship & he sees you as easy sex and a sugar momma and you are willing to comply just to keep him in your life in hope that you will eventually get what you want. Believe me when I tell you that you are just setting yourself up for more disappointment.

 

He has been honest with you...it's time for you to be honest with yourself and believe him.

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Satu Established Member

Satu

Posted
Posted

He is using you, and you're also using him.

 

It's an unhealthy setup.

 

Try some time as a single person.

 

No BF, no FWB, no 'hookups.'

 

Just you, learning to love yourself, and figuring out what you really want from life.

 

 

Take care.

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spiderowl Established Member

spiderowl

Posted
Posted (edited)

Oh dear, you don't seem to have any boundaries, especially with this guy. He is using you. Just because a guy wants to sleep with you does not mean he values or respects you. You need to get rid of him and find a guy who does value you as well as wants more.

 

I suggest you make a list of the qualities you want in a guy. For example, do you want him to be kind to you? If so, kindness goes on the list, and so on.

 

Then, check the list against this guy. Is he kind to you? Does he treat you with respect? If you cannot agree that he matches your list, then you know he is not the kind of guy you need. It also gives you a way of 'testing' other guys who may come into your life. Any guy displaying mean or harmful qualities should be booted out straightaway or you are in for a whole lot of grief.

Edited by spiderowl
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