Author Eddie Gonzales Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 Your girlfriend is doing to you exactly what you did to her. When your ex contacted you you didn't reject her and you kept the communication open. If your girlfriend had come across these conversations between you and your ex how do you think she'd feel? Probably like you are feeling right now. Sucks right. It doesn't matter you are over your ex now. You did allow all this communication to happen and all those old feelings to come back at the surface. Maybe this will teach you how important it is to be protective of your relationship and to never let anyone interfere. I had FEELINGS for my ex, but I never even tried to meet up with her. My current girlfriend wants to see him, big difference. How do I stop her from having feelings for him? Or meeting up with him? Please help.
GorillaTheater Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 How do I stop her from having feelings for him? Or meeting up with him? Please help. You can't. There's only one person on the planet you can control and that's you. My question is why you're putting up with all of this angst. Life's too short, man. 4
PegNosePete Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 How do I stop her from having feelings for him? Or meeting up with him? Well you could try a mind control device. Or chaining her ankle to the drainpipe. But if you only want legal solutions, then the answer is you can't control her feelings and you can't stop her from doing something that she wants to do. You can only respond to how she is treating you. And the response you should be giving her now is YOUR DUMPED (yes that's right YOUR, don't even show her the respect of using correct grammar!)
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 I would be very upset and suspicious too. The only thing I don't get is why does it matter that she waited until 10pm to send bday wishes to him? Why does the time matter? Because it's finding the time to write (and play a little hard to get) at least a decent message. If she didn't care at all she would've just written it whenever, instead she waited and planned it all out. That's how I always do with people I like. You gotta admit it sounds like he's still very important to her! Doesn't even matter to me anymore. What matters is her behavior towards that guy. I don't know what I did wrong, I'm starting to think I may have been a rebound all this time :(
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 Well you could try a mind control device. Or chaining her ankle to the drainpipe. But if you only want legal solutions, then the answer is you can't control her feelings and you can't stop her from doing something that she wants to do. You can only respond to how she is treating you. And the response you should be giving her now is YOUR DUMPED (yes that's right YOUR, don't even show her the respect of using correct grammar!) So you're saying she does have feelings for him? Isn't there a way you could make her stay with me instead?
PegNosePete Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 Isn't there a way you could make her stay with me instead? See my post above for 2 suggestions.
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 You guys, it's not easy to dump someone you love. Easier said than done which is why I'm trying to find other solutions
GorillaTheater Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 You guys, it's not easy to dump someone you love. Easier said than done which is why I'm trying to find other solutions Well, good luck. In the meantime, get ready for more pain.
smackie9 Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 I checked the texts and they weren't networking at all. The first hour was about all kinds of stuff, her college, his life, her life, how she says she feels stuck and she even kept the convo going when he replied with one word. And HE was the one who came up with the idea of getting her a photo shoot, not her. And she replied something "you know, maybe it would be better if I came to see you at one of your photo shoots?". So she wasn't texting him to find a job, she was texting him because she wanted to talk. She was definitely the one initiating the most in that convo and texting the most. Why do I think she's trying to make him jealous? Because the last two times she contacted him and he didn't reply or replied almost nothing she would add a pic of us to her instagram - and she's NOT very active on there, so I found it to be an extremely weird coincidence. And yes, I checked her phone because I sense something is up. So it's very clear she is just catching up with what's been going on like old friends. No hints of "I miss you so bad" or flirting, sexual innuendo, Just her chatting. So she sent him a photo of her and you showing she has moved on, meaning she is letting him know her intent is not to get back with him. If she still had sexual/ love interest feelings for him there would be no photos of you, She would send photos of her and her cleavage lookin hot. she would be saying she was unhappy in her relationship, etc, to reel him in. But she isn't doing any of that. And he isn't showing any real interest either...one word answers or not responding at all is his way of saying that he has moved on too. There is a difference between the way women think and the way guys think. Women are sentimental, and have emotional attachments without any sexual intentions. Just maybe she feels it's ok to carry on with a friendship now that time has passed. If you want to prove yourself right, and me wrong....you have no choice but to confront her, simple as that.
Calmandfocused Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 I feel your pain but your making this worse for yourself. Firstly, where's your self respect? The impression your giving is " do whatever you like to me, I will still want you". Please be aware that this is far from sexy. If you want her to pick you then you need to respect yourself and assert some boundaries. Put your foot down and stick to your terms. Secondly, if you want her it's obvious that you need to accept that at this moment in time she still has a pocket of love for her ex. If it lookks like a duck and sounds like one, its a duck. If that flys for you thats your choice. That still doesn't give her free reign to disrespect you or your feelings. Don't be a doormat. You are not second best. Good luck 1
gorf Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 She wants to meet up with him to help. He wants to help her with a future opportunity. But, this isn't an old platonic friend. This is an ex. Someone with a beyond-friend connection that cannot be erased. She has kids with him? Nope. The only reason she wants to contact (and meet up) with him now is cause she is unhappy, he is still around, and you have no problem with it (not standing up to it enough, showing you see through what is going on). She has no reason to meet up with him, she controls her future opportunity, not him. Basically, I believe he is back and things are going this way cause she is looking for some sort of out or escape, and he is providing one. There are 7.3+ billion people in the world.. but this one guy, who was an Ex lover... I mean, you see what Im saying. The only thing you can do is stand firm that this is not appropriate, and if she is defensive about it then you know why. Don't put up with meeting up with a backup 'now friends' anything. Next thing you will be with a woman who is getting what support she can from you all the while planning on getting with another man she had a past with. For whatever reason
gorf Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 You guys, it's not easy to dump someone you love. Easier said than done which is why I'm trying to find other solutions I understand. Then your solution is this (unless you want to let her do whatever she wants to, and you can see how thats going..) your solution at this point is set boundaries of what is ok, what is not, what is cheating, what is not, etc. Find out what is going on with her. How she sees you two in the relationship. Is she happy? Why and why not. Asking questions and setting boundaries is all you can do right now, but dont let it slide or she will forever walk on you and you will forever look back wishing you had set boundaries stood up for yourself and stuck to it, her aside.
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted December 1, 2016 Author Posted December 1, 2016 She wants to meet up with him to help. He wants to help her with a future opportunity. But, this isn't an old platonic friend. This is an ex. Someone with a beyond-friend connection that cannot be erased. She has kids with him? Nope. The only reason she wants to contact (and meet up) with him now is cause she is unhappy, he is still around, and you have no problem with it (not standing up to it enough, showing you see through what is going on). She has no reason to meet up with him, she controls her future opportunity, not him. Basically, I believe he is back and things are going this way cause she is looking for some sort of out or escape, and he is providing one. There are 7.3+ billion people in the world.. but this one guy, who was an Ex lover... I mean, you see what Im saying. The only thing you can do is stand firm that this is not appropriate, and if she is defensive about it then you know why. Don't put up with meeting up with a backup 'now friends' anything. Next thing you will be with a woman who is getting what support she can from you all the while planning on getting with another man she had a past with. For whatever reason Ok, I'll try to stand up for myself and confront her about it. The only thing I don't quite get is what I did wrong??? Also, when I saw those texts I realized that was how WE texted once. Now all I get is meh responses, while she was texting him intensively nonstop for two hours and even joking and all that. 1
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted December 1, 2016 Author Posted December 1, 2016 I feel your pain but your making this worse for yourself. Firstly, where's your self respect? The impression your giving is " do whatever you like to me, I will still want you". Please be aware that this is far from sexy. If you want her to pick you then you need to respect yourself and assert some boundaries. Put your foot down and stick to your terms. Secondly, if you want her it's obvious that you need to accept that at this moment in time she still has a pocket of love for her ex. If it lookks like a duck and sounds like one, its a duck. If that flys for you thats your choice. That still doesn't give her free reign to disrespect you or your feelings. Don't be a doormat. You are not second best. Good luck I'm not a doormat, I just wanted to find out what she's doing before I did anything myself
Poutrew Posted December 1, 2016 Posted December 1, 2016 Well Eddie, just be ready for her to say stuff like: "I didn't mean you" or, "I am so angry you peeked at my phone...", or the age old "It's not what you think it is. We are only friends now..." Let us know how it goes after you confront her. There are many here who can help you interpret her BS responses and cut through all the doubletalk she will throw at you to confuse you. Good luck.
LonelyInsomniac Posted December 1, 2016 Posted December 1, 2016 What are the chances she peeked at your phone while you were fanning your flames for your ex? Has it been a little too easy to access her phone? This interaction may be vengeance-based.
dumbass2 Posted December 1, 2016 Posted December 1, 2016 "The only thing I don't quite get is what I did wrong???" Think about this. I know you say you weren't talking about meeting up with your ex, but while you were back in contact with her, was your current girlfriend "doing" anything wrong that would make you want to stray towards your ex? You say your current girlfriend wouldn't have known. Do you think she is now thinking the same thing, that there's no way you know what she is doing?
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted December 2, 2016 Author Posted December 2, 2016 What are the chances she peeked at your phone while you were fanning your flames for your ex? Has it been a little too easy to access her phone? This interaction may be vengeance-based. Nope, she couldn't have. Plus, my situation was waaaay different as I never agreed on meeting up with my ex and I never really initiated convo. My current gf is doing the exact opposite. 1
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted December 2, 2016 Author Posted December 2, 2016 "The only thing I don't quite get is what I did wrong???" Think about this. I know you say you weren't talking about meeting up with your ex, but while you were back in contact with her, was your current girlfriend "doing" anything wrong that would make you want to stray towards your ex? You say your current girlfriend wouldn't have known. Do you think she is now thinking the same thing, that there's no way you know what she is doing? Good thinking. I wasn't over my ex when she contacted me and that was my reason. So by that logic it would mean my girlfriend isn't over her ex?
MarkIVSteel Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 She's taking you for a ride and you're just letting her.
Sweetfish Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 (edited) So it's very clear she is just catching up with what's been going on like old friends. No hints of "I miss you so bad" or flirting, sexual innuendo, Just her chatting. So she sent him a photo of her and you showing she has moved on, meaning she is letting him know her intent is not to get back with him. If she still had sexual/ love interest feelings for him there would be no photos of you, She would send photos of her and her cleavage lookin hot. she would be saying she was unhappy in her relationship, etc, to reel him in. But she isn't doing any of that. And he isn't showing any real interest either...one word answers or not responding at all is his way of saying that he has moved on too. There is a difference between the way women think and the way guys think. Women are sentimental, and have emotional attachments without any sexual intentions. Just maybe she feels it's ok to carry on with a friendship now that time has passed. If you want to prove yourself right, and me wrong....you have no choice but to confront her, simple as that. Sounds like your ok with these types of open boundaries. So your cool with your man suddenly networking and talking pictures with his ex gf who is a model and your not to bat an eye... or is this a factor of double standards because women are nostalgic and won't have sexual intentions. Hahaha.. women quickly find another guy quickly after breakups is like the norm in many threads. So tired of these "women are not sexual creature like comments" You know the problem with this scenario is... The bf is at a stalemate. If he reacts to this situation in anyway, he will look jealous. If he does nothing she may feel it's ok to hang out with her ex.. which puts him in a grid lock. She may feel he is a push over. The real answer to this situation is she should have told the EX no and respected her boyfriend feelings. Edited December 2, 2016 by Sweetfish 3
salparadise Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 There is a difference between the way women think and the way guys think. Women are sentimental, and have emotional attachments without any sexual intentions. Just maybe she feels it's ok to carry on with a friendship now that time has passed. Uh huh. Just wants emotional attachment w/ the ex-bf, no sex. And she gets a pass because she's a woman, and that's just what women do? She's trying to entice the guy to pursue, but he's sort of laying low and it's making her frustrated. Poor innocent little thang. Next her. 2
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted December 2, 2016 Author Posted December 2, 2016 She's trying to entice the guy to pursue, but he's sort of laying low and it's making her frustrated. Poor innocent little thang. Next her. What guy? Me or her ex?
smackie9 Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 Come on you guys....I am just suggesting a different perspective because well, none of us are there and we are only getting the OP's side of the story through jealous/insecure eyes...and he is projecting from his experience with his ex. The only way to really find out, and what I had suggested many posts ago, is for the OP to man up and confront her, and take it from there. Obviously YOU Eddie haven't done that yet....coming hear listening to our accusations is counter productive and is causing grief. This is not resolving the issue at hand.
VeveCakes Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 What guy? Me or her ex? The ex.... I would just move on. This is not gf material. 2
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