Eddie Gonzales Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 So I just found out my girlfriend has been texting her ex two hours straight a week ago and has agreed on meeting up with him and help him out during a photo-shoot (her ex is a model). I checked the messages and she told him she wasn't happy with her life right now and she would love to pursue a career in modeling. Her ex offered her a job for a photographer, but she insisted she wanted to join one of his photo-shoots instead. I also found out she's been replying to his snaps and trying to make him jealous on social media with pics of me and her. It was his birthday three days ago and I sensed she was 'planning' her birthday wishes to him and sent them at 10 pm right before she went to bed. It's hard to explain, but it was like the timing was really important to her. It seemed she cared too much about when to send them. I don't know what to think of all this. Why is she doing this? Why does she want to meet up with him? Please guys help me out here.
PegNosePete Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 This is all highly inappropriate and if I found my girlfriend doing all of this in secret then she would be dumped before she could say "I need some space". Which is probably not long. 8
OnlyHonesty Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 As usual, you are asking the wrong questions. Like far too many men, you are afraid to walk away and this is the reason why you are asking yourself questions that do not matter or change anything. Her actions are not that of a loyal, trust worthy gf and if that were me, she would no longer be one. Stay with her and regret it, or stop asking yourself questions that help distract yourself away from the main issues. Never put up with crap from anyone and never be afraid to walk. 10
Gaeta Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 So I just found out my girlfriend has been texting her ex two hours straight a week ago and has agreed on meeting up with him and help him out during a photo-shoot (her ex is a model). I checked the messages and she told him she wasn't happy with her life right now and she would love to pursue a career in modeling. Her ex offered her a job for a photographer, but she insisted she wanted to join one of his photo-shoots instead. In this 2 hour long conversation, was there any inappropriate flirting? and was it all about professional displease? I also found out she's been replying to his snaps and trying to make him jealous on social media with pics of me and her. And you interpret her putting up pictures of you 2 together as her trying to make him jealous, why? Don't you think it could be her showing him she is happy in her relationship and this visit is strictly professional? I don't know what to think of all this. Why is she doing this? Why does she want to meet up with him? Please guys help me out here. Why? : Because he has professional contacts that may help her Why meet?: Because he has professional contacts that may help her What exactly are you afraid of? 1
BaileyB Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 Why is she still your girlfriend? This is not the behavior of someone you want to trust as a life partner. Just saying...
Miss Peach Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 How open has she been with all this to you? How long have you been together? Has there been any other incidents that leave you with questions? There may be nothing going on. There may be. There's not enough info yet IMO. 1
smackie9 Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 You are bending this all out out of shape. You just assume something is going on....Gaeta post is spot on. It seems she is just networking with him to get into a better position for her career. And by your snooping in her stuff, what I see from my perspective, you are insecure jealous and probably have accused her of cheating or whatever before...that would explain why she isn't telling you anything because you will just go off the deep end. I think you worded things in a certain way just so that you can find others to jump on "your GF is cheating or up to no good" band wagon. Instead of being all paranoid, just talk to her about it. You say she is doing it in secrecy...well you are snooping in her stuff and chatting with strangers on the net about it in secrecy so you are no better than she is. 3
Friskyone4u Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 You are bending this all out out of shape. You just assume something is going on....Gaeta post is spot on. It seems she is just networking with him to get into a better position for her career. And by your snooping in her stuff, what I see from my perspective, you are insecure jealous and probably have accused her of cheating or whatever before...that would explain why she isn't telling you anything because you will just go off the deep end. I think you worded things in a certain way just so that you can find others to jump on "your GF is cheating or up to no good" band wagon. Instead of being all paranoid, just talk to her about it. You say she is doing it in secrecy...well you are snooping in her stuff and chatting with strangers on the net about it in secrecy so you are no better than she is. Wouldn't want him to interfere with her hooking up with her ex, now would we. She's contacting another man and keeping it secret about meeting with him, telling Om she is not happy, and OP is the bad guy for daring to find out instead of waiting until she tells him. Is that your position?? 4
Standard-Fare Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 You are bending this all out out of shape. You just assume something is going on....Gaeta post is spot on. It seems she is just networking with him to get into a better position for her career. And by your snooping in her stuff, what I see from my perspective, you are insecure jealous and probably have accused her of cheating or whatever before...that would explain why she isn't telling you anything because you will just go off the deep end. I think you worded things in a certain way just so that you can find others to jump on "your GF is cheating or up to no good" band wagon. Instead of being all paranoid, just talk to her about it. You say she is doing it in secrecy...well you are snooping in her stuff and chatting with strangers on the net about it in secrecy so you are no better than she is. Yeah, I'm getting the sense of deep snooping - OP, are you going into your GF's phone in secret, without her permission, and tracking her every move? I can't comment on your GF's intentions, really none of us can, we don't know what's going on in her head. She could actually just be networking, or she could want to get back together with him. But the bigger issue here is that you have no trust in your GF and you've resorted to spying on her. Obviously, that's not healthy. 1
Sunkissedpatio Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 Does a guy wearing a tri-coloured onesie, a pink and green afro, a big red nose with white makeup, and oversized yellow shoes need to carry a sign around his neck that says "Clown"? No. By power of deduction you can tell the dude's dressed like a clown. Your power of deduction is telling you this looks wrong. That's because it is. Her secret texting alone is enough to question her motives, doesn't matter what they are talking about. Why are they still even talking? If she is good friends with her ex why are you finding out about it like this? 2
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 In this 2 hour long conversation, was there any inappropriate flirting? and was it all about professional displease? And you interpret her putting up pictures of you 2 together as her trying to make him jealous, why? Don't you think it could be her showing him she is happy in her relationship and this visit is strictly professional? Why? : Because he has professional contacts that may help her Why meet?: Because he has professional contacts that may help her What exactly are you afraid of? I checked the texts and they weren't networking at all. The first hour was about all kinds of stuff, her college, his life, her life, how she says she feels stuck and she even kept the convo going when he replied with one word. And HE was the one who came up with the idea of getting her a photo shoot, not her. And she replied something "you know, maybe it would be better if I came to see you at one of your photo shoots?". So she wasn't texting him to find a job, she was texting him because she wanted to talk. She was definitely the one initiating the most in that convo and texting the most. Why do I think she's trying to make him jealous? Because the last two times she contacted him and he didn't reply or replied almost nothing she would add a pic of us to her instagram - and she's NOT very active on there, so I found it to be an extremely weird coincidence. And yes, I checked her phone because I sense something is up.
Gaeta Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 I checked the texts and they weren't networking at all. The first hour was about all kinds of stuff, her college, his life, her life, how she says she feels stuck and she even kept the convo going when he replied with one word. And HE was the one who came up with the idea of getting her a photo shoot, not her. And she replied something "you know, maybe it would be better if I came to see you at one of your photo shoots?". So she wasn't texting him to find a job, she was texting him because she wanted to talk. She was definitely the one initiating the most in that convo and texting the most. Why do I think she's trying to make him jealous? Because the last two times she contacted him and he didn't reply or replied almost nothing she would add a pic of us to her instagram - and she's NOT very active on there, so I found it to be an extremely weird coincidence. And yes, I checked her phone because I sense something is up. Thank you for addressing my questions. What else happened that made you search her phone?
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 You are bending this all out out of shape. You just assume something is going on....Gaeta post is spot on. It seems she is just networking with him to get into a better position for her career. And by your snooping in her stuff, what I see from my perspective, you are insecure jealous and probably have accused her of cheating or whatever before...that would explain why she isn't telling you anything because you will just go off the deep end. I think you worded things in a certain way just so that you can find others to jump on "your GF is cheating or up to no good" band wagon. Instead of being all paranoid, just talk to her about it. You say she is doing it in secrecy...well you are snooping in her stuff and chatting with strangers on the net about it in secrecy so you are no better than she is. She's NOT just networking because she wasn't networking at all. She was texting him all kinds of stuff about her life and complaining about her life all in all. HE was the one who asked about the photo session, but he wanted her to meet up with a photographer but she INSISTED she just wanted to meet up with him and see 'how a photo session looks like'. But again, this was near the end of a two hour long convo in which he replied with short sometimes one word responses, while she was texting him essays and kept the convo going. And she cared so much about those damn B-day wishes that she waited until evening to send them to him 1
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 Thank you for addressing my questions. What else happened that made you search her phone? No problem, I just think she's up to something. Well, mostly it was the snap chat thing. I heard from one of our mutual friends that her ex was wondering why she was texting him on snapchat. Then I saw he was on her best-friend list on snapchat meaning he was one of the people she was texting the most. Then she was a little distant the day she added that photo and has generally been sending me a weird vibe lately. 1
Poutrew Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 You don't need a PhD to know what is going on... dump her before she dumps you. 2
dumbass2 Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 So I've read a little on your last thread you made not too long ago and you talk about your ex being in contact with you and that you're not completely over her. Has this maybe had an impact on your current girlfriend and why she says she's not happy right now and why she's contacting her ex? Were you two having some issues before you found out she had contacted him? 3
bachdude Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 I checked the texts and they weren't networking at all. The first hour was about all kinds of stuff, her college, his life, her life, how she says she feels stuck and she even kept the convo going when he replied with one word. And HE was the one who came up with the idea of getting her a photo shoot, not her. And she replied something "you know, maybe it would be better if I came to see you at one of your photo shoots?". So she wasn't texting him to find a job, she was texting him because she wanted to talk. She was definitely the one initiating the most in that convo and texting the most. Why do I think she's trying to make him jealous? Because the last two times she contacted him and he didn't reply or replied almost nothing she would add a pic of us to her instagram - and she's NOT very active on there, so I found it to be an extremely weird coincidence. And yes, I checked her phone because I sense something is up. The whole "I'm stuck", "I'm unhappy in my life", "I want to come see you" talk is very worrying. She is confiding in an ex in a long conversation. It certainly looks as if she is turning to another man for emotional support. Not cool. I am interested to see what the women here at LS have to say about this because, if they are consistent, they will say this is inappropriate behavior on her part. I don't know how many times I've seen a storm of condemnation, virtual apoplexy, over BFs who have ANY communication at all with exs on a personal level. And I would agree with their opinion on that. Good luck, bro. 2
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 So I've read a little on your last thread you made not too long ago and you talk about your ex being in contact with you and that you're not completely over her. Has this maybe had an impact on your current girlfriend and why she says she's not happy right now and why she's contacting her ex? Were you two having some issues before you found out she had contacted him? I've never told her about any of that and have since 'gotten over' my ex. But from what I've seen my current GF has been doing waaaaaay more and she's freaking planning on meeting up with him, she's confiding in him I don't know what to do. If I tell her about it I'm screwed, if I do nothing I'm afraid she'll dump me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong!
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 The whole "I'm stuck", "I'm unhappy in my life", "I want to come see you" talk is very worrying. She is confiding in an ex in a long conversation. It certainly looks as if she is turning to another man for emotional support. Not cool. But why is she doing that? Why does she want to talk to HIM and not ME? Does she still feel something for him???
Author Eddie Gonzales Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 Guys, should I dump her? Because I don't know what to do. I've been in a situation before where my ex was distant and started texting another dude and ended up dumping me. HELP!!!! 1
PegNosePete Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 Did you even read the replies on the first page? Many, many people have already answered the question you have asked in your last post. In case you missed it. Yes she still has feelings for him. She talks to HIM not YOU because she wants to be with HIM. Yes you should dump her. 2
Gaeta Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 I've never told her about any of that and have since 'gotten over' my ex. But from what I've seen my current GF has been doing waaaaaay more and she's freaking planning on meeting up with him, she's confiding in him I don't know what to do. If I tell her about it I'm screwed, if I do nothing I'm afraid she'll dump me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong! Your girlfriend is doing to you exactly what you did to her. When your ex contacted you you didn't reject her and you kept the communication open. If your girlfriend had come across these conversations between you and your ex how do you think she'd feel? Probably like you are feeling right now. Sucks right. It doesn't matter you are over your ex now. You did allow all this communication to happen and all those old feelings to come back at the surface. Maybe this will teach you how important it is to be protective of your relationship and to never let anyone interfere. 1
Popsicle Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 I would be very upset and suspicious too. The only thing I don't get is why does it matter that she waited until 10pm to send bday wishes to him? Why does the time matter?
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