What I should do about my ex girlfriend who keeps contacting while I'm in NC?

[bubbaganoosh]

Whatever you do, don't respond to her text. It isn't worth it and that relationship is over.

 

Thank God it is over. She's a cheater and you don't need that in your life.

[kidm]

I can't stand girls like that. Do not engage. She is miserable and has realized you are happy and have moved on so she is trying to force feed an invitation to her dramatic and manipulative party. Do not take the bait. She mentioned she cheated now to get a reaction out of you and try to hurt you. She's trying to get you to lash out (and if you do, she'll think that you still care). I would block her if I were you. Who needs this headache? The fat lady has sung on that relationship!

Edited July 9, 2016 by kidm

[Giggles666]

Why is she so mad?

 

She's crazy that's why.

 

I agree with Bummer, pat yourself on the back, you "won" she "lost" and she is pissed about that.

[Heart..PLS STAHP]

Absolutely agree with the comments! Block her and initiate NC indefinitely! You deserve better and not a manipulative and repulsively bad human being. She tries to sound mature and respectful and then lashes out just like that. No just no!

[LostOnes05]

Yea, agree with everyone here. I dealt with a woman like this. Thing about people like this is that they justify their actions by villainizing you. You're absolutely right that it's a tactic to rile you up so you maintain contact with her...even if it's a negative interaction. She has tried every means besides a smoke signal to keep tabs and in contact with you...this outburst is no different.

[Daking123]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 7 months (red flag = we started dating 2 weeks after she ended a 3 year relationship) she moved in with me to.

 

she he always tells me I'm her soul mate, how much better I am, how much she loves me etc.

 

So so one day I was on my laptop but her Fb account was still on I seen where she was messaging her ex best friend telling him "can you get him to contact me" it was her begging. I notice everytime her ex was with his friend out somewhere she'll comment on his boyfriend picture (like trying to get his attention).

 

later I ask if her and her ex was talking she denied, but showed me her phone and she didn't dekete the messages where she was telling him "happy birthday, how proud she was of him". So two days later I snoop on her ex page he was in a relationship, that same day she had sent him an ugly text about "how she cheated on him twice yada yada" in my mind in questioning if he can make you this angry then you're still emotional attached to him.

 

im just so heated right now I don't know what to do

[Shanex]

She's shamelessly BSting you and taking you for a mug. Now that she's moved in with you and assuming that's your place, show her the door.

[Satu]

The healthy way of dealing with anger is to safely externalise it. Get on the punchbag and really batter it. Break something (of no value) then break the pieces. Grind them under your foot. Go somewhere you can't be heard, and shout it all out. Anger is a normal thing so let yourself feel it.

 

As regards the situation with your girlfriend:

 

This is what comes from beginning a new relationship before you've fully cleaned up after the last one.

 

This 'cleaning up' is best done by being single for a while; not coupled, not dating.

 

Having not done that, she does still have a lingering attachment to him.

 

Your priority for now should be getting that anger out. Safely.

 

 

Take care.

Edited July 28, 2016 by Satu

[bubbaganoosh]

It's obvious that she's not over him yet and if it was me, I would show her what you saw and get the matter squared away and if you can't get a square answer from her then it's time to move on.

[Blanco]

Time to stop being a schmuck. Your post history shows that this has been an issue since at least the spring.

 

You're being played for a fool, even without the ex boyfriend factor. She wanted to move in after a few weeks of dating, so you let her. Um, what?

[CarrieT]

Walk away immediately....

[JewelD]

You knew you were a rebound at the start. Now she's living with you which makes the situation even more difficult.

 

Just ask her to move out and break it off. I would not waste time trying to argue about what she did or resolve things because it's pretty clear what's going on.

[Densel]

You were a rebound.

 

And maybe she was your rebound too.

 

Both of you better go nc. Dont make it even messier by staying in the picture.

[Daking123]

We dated for 2 years, she left me for another guy 9 months ago. I've been heavy NC majority of the time.

 

Last last wednesday she sent me a random "hey" text this is when I broke NC after 5 months. I just replied "hey" back she asked "what am I doing" I said "working" even though I wasnt. She asked " if I was doing good" I didn't reply back. 5 hours later she sends another text "hope you have a good night". I didn't reply back I went back NC because why do I need to talk to her.

 

Next morning she sends me a picture of me and her and goes "I remember every thing that happen this day" I broke NC and just said "good times". She replied back I ignored her.

 

2 days later she randomly text "hey, do you want to go on a adventure with me" I'm back NC it's day 3 I don't plan on breaking it anytime soon.

 

I heard her and the guy she left me for are having serious problems, they have for a while. I laugh and say Karma is real.

 

i don't understand her reaching out so heavily lately.

[aloneinaz]

What she's doing is throwing out the hook with bait on it. She's seeing if you'll bite. When you did, it let her know she still has power over you. She's pulling your strings and you're moving like a puppet.

 

I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish since you're responding to her? She's already kicked you to the curb once. Most people who are dumped have no aspirations to ever speak to the dumper again, especially after that length of time.

[ChickiePops]

You know why she's contacting you. She's about to break up with the guy she left you for and she wants a soft place to land.

[Toodaloo]

Easy - she wants to break up with new bloke come back to you for a bit and use you until she finds someone else then break up with you again because lets face it. She sees you as disposable.

 

Move on.

 

So easy to read this one its unreal and you just fell for it...

[PegNosePete]

i don't understand her reaching out so heavily lately.

I don't understand why you keep replying to her?

 

What are you hoping to achieve by keeping lines of communication open?

[Zahara]

She's looking for a fallback guy. She knows if she throws bait you will bite and just as you did. She probably knows you're a sucker for her.

 

She's the monkey that won't let go of the branch until she's secured another.

 

You know what she's doing.

[chiefbwette]

It sounds like you still want her back, well i should say what to do with her should depend on your initial goal for NC.

 

I strongly suggest you should not let her convince you into her child games. She left you for five moths, for someone else. Things turn Grey now she wants you back?

 

I think shes shown you how unworthy her presence is to you, think about it this way, before you knew her, had you factually known that for sure one day she would leave you in pain for another man would you have considered loving her?

Would you have considered even starting a love conversation with such a woman?

 

If not why now? she is a looser, accept to meet with her and get to be the one to dump her this time.

[Daking123]

short story we was together 3 years, she dumped me a year ago. The same week she left was the same week she jumped into another relationship.

 

That relationship lasted 6 months, while she was in that relationship she contacted me EVERY MONTH, but would tell the world how much she was in love with this new guy.

 

So about 3 months ago I notice her communication with me would pick up heavily but I'm in full NC.

- when I don't reply she'll text my best friend and ask "did I change my number or am I ignoring her"

 

- she comments on my friends picture after she sees I comment on it

 

- she wrote my little brother saying you're still my family

 

- she unblocked me on ALL social media to contact me but I blocked her back.

 

- last night she wrote me from a fake page she created and asked " is there something wrong with me"?

 

I understand her "new boyfriend" cheated her multiple times buts the karma of screwing over someone who truly loved you like no other would.

 

but I've been heavy NC for months but she continue to reach out what for

[VeveCakes]

She can't reach you if shes blocked.

 

Block her everywhere.

 

Problem solved.

[PegNosePete]

Block her in every way that you can.

Tell your friend not to feed you little updates about what she's telling him.

 

Don't facebook stalk her. How do you even know half of the above information if you're in "Heavy NC"?

 

It may be appropriate to send her ONE message. "There is nothing wrong with you. I just don't want to talk to you EVER AGAIN. I will not reply to anything else you send me, no matter what it is" then BLOCK her.

[Ostepop]

Block her in every way that you can.

Tell your friend not to feed you little updates about what she's telling him.

 

Don't facebook stalk her. How do you even know half of the above information if you're in "Heavy NC"?

 

It may be appropriate to send her ONE message. "There is nothing wrong with you. I just don't want to talk to you EVER AGAIN. I will not reply to anything else you send me, no matter what it is" then BLOCK her.

 

Doing that sounds like a way for her to think she got the opportunity to worm herself back in. She's been desperate as you can see.

[BAcK]

You know what to do. Tell her not to bother you again. And block her. Sometimes you have to be rude. Ask your family and friends not to respond to her.