is my bf's female housemate stepping a bit over the boundary?

[No_Go]

Uh and discussing vaginal bleeding with male roomie is above and beyond TMI. If that's not all made up, I'd bet she is an ex of his, even with platonic male friend of many years I won't discuss vaginal bleeds and discharges

[clia]

This is beyond weird. She moved in for a week and a half and now she's moving out? Didn't she sign a lease? And what about the other girl your boyfriend found for roommate #3?

[PogoStick]

No the girl just sounds nutty and he should be happy to be done with her. Obviously, the male is moving home with mum so leaving with little notice must not be an issue.

 

Just to add my own experience. I rented a 3 bed house with 2 other women (5 different women over 2 years). 3 girls were pretty decent. 2 were complete sht roomies. 2 were plenty attractive, but I never touched any of them. In fact, rarely even spent time together or anything. The girls usually didn't hang out together either. Everyone had their own lives going on. They had boyfriends, uni, work. I had girlfriends, uni, and work.

 

I think several of you are crazy for not being able to handle renting a place among other adults I'm amazed at the conclusions some of you come to with zero evidence.

[Gaeta]

Honestly? He's blowing smoke up your a**. Nobody moves out due to surgery (especially cyst/fibroid - c'mon - that's an ambulatory procedure, usually laparoscopic with no hospital stay), even if it was a full blown cancer. There are leases, minimums, I had yet to see a place that agrees tenants to move in/out for under a month. I will bet money, lots of it, that this was just a friend/ex of him crashing with him temporarily and he didn't want to give you this extra info because you act a little insecure.

 

It sounds more and more like this I agree.

 

Also would explain why she was so comfortable telling him about her gyno problems.

 

Also how can he move out of this apartment? isn't he responsible on the lease? How is he getting out of that one OP?

[No_Go]

^ indeed - one can't just break leases so frivolously - month of notice is the bare minimum.

 

I glanced through OP's other threads and I have a gut feeling something is VERY off with this guy, that's why she's so anxious.

 

As a conman ex (well, let's call me survivor) I just spot signs - the testing of boundaries, the whole surrounding drama, the consistent feeling that he's not invested... OP - ofr your own safety dive in deeper:

1) is he employed (my conman ex was constantly 'changing careers' - turned that he was unemployed from many years)

2) is he involved with other people? (does he see you in primee times like Friday night? Any suspicious females besides the 'roommate'?)

3) what is the relationship with the mom (letting him in her home? Again - my conman ex was calling every morning his 'business partner' - turned to be his mommy who he was mooching money from before he secured me as his host)

 

I'd proceed with extreme caution with this dude. I may be a little sceptical but... better safe than sorry...

 

 

It sounds more and more like this I agree.

 

Also would explain why she was so comfortable telling him about her gyno problems.

 

Also how can he move out of this apartment? isn't he responsible on the lease? How is he getting out of that one OP?

[frus69]

^ indeed - one can't just break leases so frivolously - month of notice is the bare minimum.

 

I glanced through OP's other threads and I have a gut feeling something is VERY off with this guy, that's why she's so anxious.

 

As a conman ex (well, let's call me survivor) I just spot signs - the testing of boundaries, the whole surrounding drama, the consistent feeling that he's not invested... OP - ofr your own safety dive in deeper:

1) is he employed (my conman ex was constantly 'changing careers' - turned that he was unemployed from many years)

2) is he involved with other people? (does he see you in primee times like Friday night? Any suspicious females besides the 'roommate'?)

3) what is the relationship with the mom (letting him in her home? Again - my conman ex was calling every morning his 'business partner' - turned to be his mommy who he was mooching money from before he secured me as his host)

 

I'd proceed with extreme caution with this dude. I may be a little sceptical but... better safe than sorry...

 

what?! this accusation is a bit too far??

1. of course he is employed. been to his office few times

2. He doesnt have other people..we spend every weekend together and this "suspicious roommate" only happened last week. There is never anyone else suspicius .

3. He is close to his parents. He go back home for dinner once a week normally and Im often invited as well. i have seen his parents plenty of time. He will pay her rent when he moves back. I don't see anything unusual about it.

[No_Go]

Ok, sounds good, I just sensed something which turned not to be true according to this new information. But I still wonder how is possible to have such a 'fluid' rental agreement (i mean the breaking in a snap - even when I physically relocated to different city/country I had to give month + notice... maybe is different where he lives?)

 

P.S. See my thread about the live in mooching bf to get an idea where I was coming from. This dude actually convinced me he works in the same institution as me... but as said, he was a professional conman.

 

 

what?! this accusation is a bit too far??

1. of course he is employed. been to his office few times

2. He doesnt have other people..we spend every weekend together and this "suspicious roommate" only happened last week. There is never anyone else suspicius .

3. He is close to his parents. He go back home for dinner once a week normally and Im often invited as well. i have seen his parents plenty of time. He will pay her rent when he moves back. I don't see anything unusual about it.

[frus69]

Honestly? He's blowing smoke up your a**. Nobody moves out due to surgery (especially cyst/fibroid - c'mon - that's an ambulatory procedure, usually laparoscopic with no hospital stay), even if it was a full blown cancer. There are leases, minimums, I had yet to see a place that agrees tenants to move in/out for under a month. I will bet money, lots of it, that this was just a friend/ex of him crashing with him temporarily and he didn't want to give you this extra info because you act a little insecure.

 

Uh and discussing vaginal bleeding with male roomie is above and beyond TMI. If that's not all made up, I'd bet she is an ex of his, even with platonic male friend of many years I won't discuss vaginal bleeds and discharges

 

I think you are going too far now insisting he is lying or a conman...he definitely is not...he is not blowing smoke because I was there when she was talking about moving out due to the surgery, the pain and the bleeding! Its not a story he told me! She is defiantly not an ex omg, again I was there when she answered his ad! And I was there the whole time she inspected the place as well, also his previous housemate who happened to be his friends for 10 years. She seemed very friendly at first. We all thought so.

 

Apparently she does things normal people don't do. But can you not blame my bf for HER abnormal behaviour?

 

She just wants to move out now, maybe back to her parents i don't know. Can she break the lease? i don't know. As I was typing the update, my bf was trying to cancel the lease because he only just submitted it 24 hours before her saying she's moving out. I told him to call the agent and call it off and he did so. So if anything, it was my fault not his.

 

3 hours after I posted that update, the agent got back to him and said lease is signed so no back out. And to cut the story short he asked another girl if she wants to still move in and she said yes. So this crazy chick will just have to find someone herself to replace her lease.

 

It all happened within a day. It's been a long day. I didn't explain the whole situation in detail cuz it's too much and I thought it won't be necessary. But please you guys can't start accusing him because I didn't disclose absolutely everything.

[Sunkissedpatio]

H

Sure they will keep her for 48 hours after her surgery but that's it. She won't be renting a room there. Cyst don't bleed. Sounds more like a fibroid.

 

 

Depends what country she is in, if she is in Canada yes because our healthcare system is ****. But not so in other countries.

 

Cysts do bleed actually and a LOT if they rupture.

Edited December 5, 2016 by Sunkissedpatio

[No_Go]

Pls don't get offended - I and other users just reflect on what you wrote.

 

But can you not blame my bf for HER abnormal behaviour? No, but for engaging and responding to it - absolutely. It shows he has no boundaries, or is not telling the whole truth.

 

 

I think you are going too far now insisting he is lying or a conman...he definitely is not...he is not blowing smoke because I was there when she was talking about moving out due to the surgery, the pain and the bleeding! Its not a story he told me! She is defiantly not an ex omg, again I was there when she answered his ad! And I was there the whole time she inspected the place as well, also his previous housemate who happened to be his friends for 10 years. She seemed very friendly at first. We all thought so.

 

Apparently she does things normal people don't do. But can you not blame my bf for HER abnormal behaviour?

 

She just wants to move out now, maybe back to her parents i don't know. Can she break the lease? i don't know. As I was typing the update, my bf was trying to cancel the lease because he only just submitted it 24 hours before her saying she's moving out. I told him to call the agent and call it off and he did so. So if anything, it was my fault not his.

 

3 hours after I posted that update, the agent got back to him and said lease is signed so no back out. And to cut the story short he asked another girl if she wants to still move in and she said yes. So this crazy chick will just have to find someone herself to replace her lease.

 

It all happened within a day. It's been a long day. I didn't explain the whole situation in detail cuz it's too much and I thought it won't be necessary. But please you guys can't start accusing him because I didn't disclose absolutely everything.

[No_Go]

Ruptured or twisted cyst will sent her straight into the ER - she won't ever have time to discuss her vaginal bleeds etc with her roomie or roomie's gf.

 

Depends what country she is in, if she is in Canada yes because our healthcare system is ****. But not so in other countries.

 

Cysts do bleed actually and a LOT if they rupture.

[Sunkissedpatio]

Wow those are some sudden turn of events frus, at least she is still moving out, yay!

[Sunkissedpatio]

Ruptured or twisted cyst will sent her straight into the ER - she won't ever have time to discuss her vaginal bleeds etc with her roomie or roomie's gf.

 

If she is hemorrhaging yes you would think she would get herself to the hospital ASAP, other times a cyst can cause much heavier periods and bleeding in between periods or it could be a rupture but with undetected major physical signs just some abdominal discomfort but if you are used to the heavier bleeding and discomfort anyway you might think it is "normal" given your condition.

[frus69]

Pls don't get offended - I and other users just reflect on what you wrote.

 

But can you not blame my bf for HER abnormal behaviour? No, but for engaging and responding to it - absolutely. It shows he has no boundaries, or is not telling the whole truth.

 

Engaging and responding to it- now looking back , if it was me Id also do it, just to avoid awkwardness and unpleasantness. I would not do it for very long but just for the very beginning, yes I'd help too

He only did her ONE favour anyway-to pick her up. And he did turn it down first because he was going grocery shopping. But she turned up at the same shop so what do you expect him to do? Pretend to not seeing her?

Sure if things keep happening like this then I'd suspect if he is "engaging". But now? No.

And I really don't understand why you just keep thinking he is lying

Edited December 5, 2016 by frus69

[frus69]

If she is hemorrhaging yes you would think she would get herself to the hospital ASAP, other times a cyst can cause much heavier periods and bleeding in between periods or it could be a rupture but with undetected major physical signs just some abdominal discomfort but if you are used to the heavier bleeding and discomfort anyway you might think it is "normal" given your condition.

 

True

And I really don't care what she has. Don't care if it makes senses.It's her story. It can have more holes than Swiss cheese and I don't care. It's not a story he told me

[frus69]

If I had a female roommate, I'd be having sex with her. I have had a few female roommates over the years, and I hooked up with all of them. I would pretty much expect it now.

 

No girl I ever dated would put up with a female roommate. Not even that they don't really trust me, but women know that other women have no problems scheming on their man.

 

This girl is definitely trying to get with your guy.

 

Well good to know you don't choose what you eat

But not everyone is like you or your female housemates

When I was living with guys no one tried to have sex with me. Me either

Don't care if she's trying to get with him. After all this I really don't worry he will like her at all

[LexiCat29]

If I had a female roommate, I'd be having sex with her. I have had a few female roommates over the years, and I hooked up with all of them. I would pretty much expect it now.

 

No girl I ever dated would put up with a female roommate. Not even that they don't really trust me, but women know that other women have no problems scheming on their man.

 

This girl is definitely trying to get with your guy.

 

Eww..I hope you warn potential roommates ahead of time...and you obviously should not be trusted with a female roommate if sex is a prerequisite for any female roommate of yours.

 

Also, what nonsense are you talking? Plenty of women wouldn't sleep with a taken guy..myself included.

 

Perhaps it's time to widen your friend circle a bit as your current group seems to lack in the morals department.

[Gaeta]

 

This girl is definitely trying to get with your guy.

 

With pain and a bleeding cyst?

[Lorenza]

Well good to know you don't choose what you eat

But not everyone is like you or your female housemates

When I was living with guys no one tried to have sex with me. Me either

Don't care if she's trying to get with him. After all this I really don't worry he will like her at all

 

I've also lived with many different male flatmates/housemates during the last 8 years. Last year I shared a house with 5 single greek guys! No one had ever tried to hit on me and I just kept to myself.

 

I'm pretty sure it's not enough to have a penis and a vagina under the same roof to feel like you should shag immediately, like some guys here have stated. Some people have morals, standards and self-control others lack

[frus69]

With pain and a bleeding cyst?

 

LMAO you cracked me

Also wanna add I lived with a guy before , just me and him, while his GF was away in another city . He was also the nicest guy I have ever met. Every time he went to the shops he'd ask if I wanted anything he could bring home.

 

According to ENigma32 he was definitely up to no good. And probably I had other agendas too but truth is there was no sexual tension whatsoever and no problem with his GF either !

 

I also lived with another guy who refused to kill a cockroach for me when I asked. And I really feel he was rude and selfish cuz I was very scared of insects. So yes I can understand if my BF was trying to be nice to her at the beginning.

[Sunkissedpatio]

Enigma you make some good points.

 

And frus in all fairness you did post this situation because it was totally eating away at you.

 

The roommate could have been using the whole cyst situation for pity, starts with pity and grows from there...Not saying this chick WAS that strategic but you never know.

[frus69]

Enigma you make some good points.

 

And frus in all fairness you did post this situation because it was totally eating away at you.

 

The roommate could have been using the whole cyst situation for pity, starts with pity and grows from there...Not saying this chick WAS that strategic but you never know.

 

I actually was thinking she was using some strategy to get with my BF. And because I am a sensitive, jealous and suspicious person in nature I was thinking for one second that male and female housemates will just have sex together.

But when I came back to my senses I realised how redicuouls that was. I shouldn't accuse my BF of lying or anything like that because I have no evidence and he didn't really do anything wrong. And it's tad irresponsible too of enigma32 to throw around conclusions like that.

Like I said before I had a male housemate who would OFFER to bring food for me when he goes shopping. If I was his GF I'd be furious but you know what, he is just a nice guy!

[frus69]

Why, thank you. All I can do is share my experiences.

 

I'm sorry but you are not just sharing your experience. You are using your experience to conclude here that they are going to sleep together and she is seducing him. You said you would expect it now.

 

 

That's the impression I got from your post anyway. I apologise if I was wrong but if not, I hope you stop drawing conclusion based on your limited personal experience. And yeah I'm going to ignore it.

[Sunkissedpatio]

I actually was thinking she was using some strategy to get with my BF. And because I am a sensitive, jealous and suspicious person in nature I was thinking for one second that male and female housemates will just have sex together.

But when I came back to my senses I realised how redicuouls that was. I shouldn't accuse my BF of lying or anything like that because I have no evidence and he didn't really do anything wrong. And it's tad irresponsible too of enigma32 to throw around conclusions like that.

Like I said before I had a male housemate who would OFFER to bring food for me when he goes shopping. If I was his GF I'd be furious but you know what, he is just a nice guy!

 

 

Well that's good I am glad you were able to put those nagging voices to rest and able to reach a resolution to your situation. Trust is a choice. For what it's worth, in this case I believe you chose right.

 

I was just saying that I agreed with Enigma's points, and that when you first posted the situation you were having your doubts. There are women out there who will use any opportunity to pounce on a man even if/especially if they are taken. Some women get off on making guys do things for them and to have that power on them. Of course not every woman wants to sleep with their roommate but it was just another perspective and I don't necessarily think it applies to YOUR guy but I do see the point.

[Timshel]

frus69, reading your thread I thought the level of familiarity with the roommate is unusual.

 

For instance, (putting yourself in tenants mind) Frus69 moves into a rented room and you (frus69) immediately ask the landlord, a stranger, to pick up dinner on the way home and discusses vaginal health concerns with a man that you have just met and have a tenant landlord agreement with?

 

Now this same tenant is poof, gone.....off to check herself into a long-term hospital after some outpatient surgery?

Yeah it's different.

The whole situation is strange.

 

Anyway, now he will live with his mom and tenant. The only thing that matters in this scenario....do you trust him and are the two of you making long term plans, sharing goals, sexually satisfying each other and does this dude put a smile on your face and feeling positive about the future together?