elaine567 Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 4 days, are you SURE he didn't know her previously? Yes, that crossed my mind. Would you tell your male room-mate of 4 days about your gynecological test? Would you tell your female room-mate of 4 days about your gynecological test? Probably not. 2
Sunkissedpatio Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 She's a user. She was testing him initially. In Star Wars terms, the DOORMAT in this one is strong. She may bang him, or she may not. But she will play him like a yo-yo to get whatever it is that she's after. You picked a weak one. So did she. The only difference is that she has a plan and a methodology. This ^^^ yessss!!!
Author frus69 Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 4 days, are you SURE he didn't know her previously? Would you tell your male room-mate of 4 days about your gynecological test? Your boyfriend is soft. He doesn't know how to draw a line. What's next? They will watch chick flicks together eating ice cream and she'll tell him all about her broken dreams? She moved there to rent a place not to become his BFF. You cannot control what she does but your boyfriend can set some limits. He needs to stop feeding this new BFF she has going on with him. I am very sure he didn't know her previously. I was there when she replied to his house ad. No I wont tell my male housemate about my test, unless I will be absent (hospitalised) then I will need an explanation. She will have an operation to remove the cyst. Does she need to spend few days at the hospital? I bet she's gonna ask him to make her a hot coco when she's sick in bed. I had a big talk with him regarding all this. Seems we are on the same page. But yeah he is soft in nature, I don't know if he can really just say NO to her in a concrete voice from now on. I can only hope. Will they start to bond after all those interactions?
lana-banana Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 Will they start to bond? Highly, highly unlikely. She is bringing way too much crazy way too quickly. It's not attractive or intriguing. At this point she is a giant neon sign reading "PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME" and it sounds like your boyfriend sees it. Watch what happens when you spend time with her. If she's anxious to join you guys in everything you do, it may be that she's desperately lonely (which is also a big red flag). If she is overly friendly or seems to resent you, she may have romantic designs on your man. But I assure you they won't go anywhere if she keeps this up.
Gaeta Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 I am very sure he didn't know her previously. I was there when she replied to his house ad. No I wont tell my male housemate about my test, unless I will be absent (hospitalised) then I will need an explanation. She will have an operation to remove the cyst. Does she need to spend few days at the hospital? I bet she's gonna ask him to make her a hot coco when she's sick in bed. I had a big talk with him regarding all this. Seems we are on the same page. But yeah he is soft in nature, I don't know if he can really just say NO to her in a concrete voice from now on. I can only hope. Will they start to bond after all those interactions? Removing cyst is a 1 day surgery here. They will probably do it by parascopy, which mean they will blow up her tummy and will poke through, she'll have 2-3 tiny mark on her, nothing else. She should head to her mom after the surgery and not count on your boyfriend's help. So who's the dominant in the relationship? you? If my boyfriend was beta this room-mate would have to deal with me and I'd remind her where her place is. As a beta man your bf may prefer his gf to take matters into her hands. What your boyfriend would say if you told this girl if she wants a bf to find herself her own?
Author frus69 Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 Watch what happens when you spend time with her. If she's anxious to join you guys in everything you do, it may be that she's desperately lonely (which is also a big red flag). If she is overly friendly or seems to resent you, she may have romantic designs on your man. But I assure you they won't go anywhere if she keeps this up. Surprisingly, she acts very normal around me. She doesn't try to join us or our conversation. She is friendly but not overly friendly to me. She didn't ask me for any favor though. She also didn't tell me about her ovarian problems. She did said twice " I want something sweet cuz I'm just so sad" but I didn't say anything back..
Sunkissedpatio Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 Will they start to bond after all those interactions? Ya. Why not? Now if could just be a friendship bond or it could be more. Not to mention men love to help women out. I have a friend/ex-coworker that ended up married to a guy she lived with as roommates. They hated each other at first, she didn't even find him attractive. And one drunken night at home together bam! Confessions came out. I don't want to alarm you but of course it can happen. Like I said earlier he's gonna have to put his foot down at some point and stop being such a push-over because she will continue. It's like Largolagg said she is one of those users that will keep taking and who knows how much she wants to take...? 1
LargoLagg Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 Surprisingly, she acts very normal around me. She doesn't try to join us or our conversation. She is friendly but not overly friendly to me. She didn't ask me for any favor though. She also didn't tell me about her ovarian problems. She did said twice " I want something sweet cuz I'm just so sad" but I didn't say anything back..That was her way of testing you too. She's good, this one. 2
LexiB Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 Have you spent the night yet? Or better yet, a weekend? I'm curious to see how she'd behave with you around.
Author frus69 Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 Removing cyst is a 1 day surgery here. They will probably do it by parascopy, which mean they will blow up her tummy and will poke through, she'll have 2-3 tiny mark on her, nothing else. She should head to her mom after the surgery and not count on your boyfriend's help. So who's the dominant in the relationship? you? If my boyfriend was beta this room-mate would have to deal with me and I'd remind her where her place is. As a beta man your bf may prefer his gf to take matters into her hands. What your boyfriend would say if you told this girl if she wants a bf to find herself her own? Yeah he is probably a beta. But he's still independent enough that he doesn't need me to help him doing things, making decisions, handling conflicts. I don't think I will have a go at her or tell get her to "get a BF yourself" at this stage..seems too dramatic ..is it really necessary? I just want him to stop all this and she will get the message and keep thing to herself from now on. And I already told him this just last night. Should I tell him again now?
Author frus69 Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 She's a user. She was testing him initially. In Star Wars terms, the DOORMAT in this one is strong. She may bang him, or she may not. But she will play him like a yo-yo to get whatever it is that she's after. You picked a weak one. So did she. The only difference is that she has a plan and a methodology. That was her way of testing you too. She's good, this one. Okay and....any advice for ME?
Gaeta Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 And I already told him this just last night. Should I tell him again now? You told him last night and today he was comforting her over text concerning her ovary AND telling her to keep him updated with the result? Maybe you were not clear enough with your boyfriend. 1
Author frus69 Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 You told him last night and today he was comforting her over text concerning her ovary AND telling her to keep him updated with the result? Maybe you were not clear enough with your boyfriend. No sorry , I wasn't being clear. It happened yesterday morning and night . And we talked last night
LargoLagg Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 Okay and....any advice for ME?Get a man, or make him a man. You can't stop her and nor should you. He should, or you'll revisit this issue time and time again. 2
Gaeta Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 No sorry , I wasn't being clear. It happened yesterday morning and night . And we talked last night And nothing to report today? if so than wait and see how it unfolds.
eightytwenty Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 Hmmm... I think the girl is just testing waters, putting out feelers, figuring out him how far she can push and the dynamics out. You can't push him too much and I would let it be for now. Me I'm protective over what's "mine"... Let's say you spend the weekend which I would do to prove a point. She asks for more than. 2 stupid things from him. I would ask her if she's capable of doing her own stuff. Example: getting her food. Or needing him to fletch something in the other room. She's testing you too, so be aware. Could be to just see how much she can get away with or she's likes the bf. The point is though, you have to trust him to do the right thing. Good luck.
lana-banana Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 The idea of a confrontation after four days (where she has shown herself to have no boundaries or decorum whatsoever but hasn't hit on him or anything like that) is ridiculous. It would just suck everyone into her vortex of crazy. Tell your boyfriend you don't want him texting her at all unless it's related to the house, and if she asks him why later he can just say he's busy. If he refuses to do that you have bigger issues. But I don't think you do. This is not some cunning master manipulator, even if she may fancy herself one. This seems like a girl who's very apparently emotionally disturbed. 1
Author frus69 Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 And nothing to report today? if so than wait and see how it unfolds. I will see him tonight and I will ask him any more drama. I also feel like reiliterating that he needs to say no and be concrete . Will it be pushing?
Sunkissedpatio Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 So who's the dominant in the relationship? you? If my boyfriend was beta this room-mate would have to deal with me and I'd remind her where her place is. As a beta man your bf may prefer his gf to take matters into her hands. What your boyfriend would say if you told this girl if she wants a bf to find herself her own? Hmm I would STRONGLY recommend not doing that. It'll backfire. She'll see it as challenge on and it it will motivate her to go harder. Women get very competitive. Plus it's not her place to break this weird-azz thing up. It's his. This is between her and her man. HE needs to step up and stop being such a push-over. And it has to come from him. I would observe and see how far he takes it knowing how you feel. If it progresses there is your answer. THAT is who he is.
Author frus69 Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 Hmmm... I think the girl is just testing waters, putting out feelers, figuring out him how far she can push and the dynamics out. You can't push him too much and I would let it be for now. Me I'm protective over what's "mine"... Let's say you spend the weekend which I would do to prove a point. She asks for more than. 2 stupid things from him. I would ask her if she's capable of doing her own stuff. Example: getting her food. Or needing him to fletch something in the other room. She's testing you too, so be aware. Could be to just see how much she can get away with or she's likes the bf. The point is though, you have to trust him to do the right thing. Good luck. She's testing me? So how should I react? Stop her or pretend to not care?She doesn't do it in front of me though?
LargoLagg Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 I think she's trying to determine who the alpha is in this relationship of yours. If it is him, then this is a cakewalk, given what she's seen so far. If it is you, the more you react, the more she can suck him in by describing you as overbearing. Again, you really have no say in how he reacts to her. I'm not even sure that you should push him to react one way or another. Your smartest long-term move may be to simply sit back and watch to see if he's worthy of you OR NOT. Emphasis on the OR NOT, because that is what you really want to know. Yes, you may lose him. But if you do, consider why. 2
Gaeta Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 I will see him tonight and I will ask him any more drama. I also feel like reiliterating that he needs to say no and be concrete . Will it be pushing? Don't repeat yourself yet. Let him handle it from here and see.
Author frus69 Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 How long is the lease for, anyway....? One bloody year However he will move out if he can't find anyone for the second bedroom in two weeks. If he manages to find someone else yeah they will live together for a year but two housemates are better than one I think
eightytwenty Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 She's testing me? So how should I react? Stop her or pretend to not care?She doesn't do it in front of me though? Pretend not to care from this point on with your boyfriend. Let him handle it. He already knows ypu have a issue and reminding him wont help and you've already talked to him a second time about her. She keeps going with her bs, I would make it apparent that you don't like her. Ignoring or just looks when she talks to you. You can't push the bf into a corner but you also need to let her know you aren't going to take her crap.
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