elias Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 This has been a hot button issue in my relationship. After my girlfriend has a bath, she feels sexy and usually wants to be intimate. She expects me to know this and after a handful of arguments on this you would think I would know by now. I do know that bath = intimate now, but there always seems to be something that triggers me into thinking that she isn't in the mood. Last night I went to her place for a visit as we hadn't seen each other in 2 days. Everything was going good and she asked if I minded if she took a bath. I said no problem and went on the computer while she had her bath. She finished over an hour later. We sat on the couch for awhile watching TV. I rubbed her feet as I normally do. When I did try to get close to her, she kind of pushed me away and said not to lay on her. I took it as she was pushing me away, but what she probably just meant is that she didn't want me on her as she was feeling sick. So for me I took that as her not being in the mood (this being the trigger for me). That and she was feeling sick and tired. I had to stay up to do some work and she went to bed. I left in the morning thinking things were OK. I got an email this morning saying that she has officially given up and that she wishes I hadn't come over last night as I was just teasing her. I'm not sure what I did to tease her. All I wanted to do was see her as I missed her. It always seems to turn out like this. I try doing something that I think would be good and it turns out like this. I don't know if anyone can offer advice on this, but I always feel that no matter what I do it's just not good enough.
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by elias All I wanted to do was see her as I missed her. Tell her this .. You two are not seeing eye to eye. Communication is paramont to the success of a relationship
Merin Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall Tell her this .. You two are not seeing eye to eye. Communication is paramont to the success of a relationship Good Advice Also.. I can see why you had the impression she wasn't in the mood.. 1) She told you to get off her.. 2) She was feeling sick 3) She was tired 4) Did I say she told you to get off of her? As Fly onThe Wall suggested.. tell her how you're feeling.
Opium Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 You need to express to her your feelings about turning her on or trying to get in the mood and how no matter which way you go left or right, you get mixed signals. It sounds like she wants you to desire her more. Go after her and just go at it without giving up so easily. Yes, she did say to get off her which at that moment you should have said something like "I'm trying to intimate as you tell me or give me signals that you like to have sex after you take a bath". Throw it back at her and let her respond to her "respond", get me? You can't just give up on intimacy like that. Woman sometimes liked to be 'chased' and wanted more than anything so next time try a different approach. Like for example, as soon as she comes out of the shower, pick her up without giving her a chance to think, throw her on the bed and satisfy her. That would definitely shut her azz up. Of course if she's that type of girl, I know I love it most when it's unexpected.
EC Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Like for example, as soon as she comes out of the shower, pick her up without giving her a chance to think, throw her on the bed and satisfy her. That would definitely shut her azz up. I agree I think thats what she's asking for! How long have you been together?
noname Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 don't give up so easily. sounds like she wants you to be aggressive and just take it. stop trying to read her mind and force the issue until she says "no"...
fundamental Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 You are going to have to communicate how you feel about the situation or else it's going to get worse. You both wanted each other and thought you were going to have sex. When it didn't happen--due to a miscommunication--you both felt rejected. You definitely need to talk to her about it because it looks like she is pushing and pulling at the same time.
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