Onekey Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 (edited) My GF (both us us in our late 50s) suddenly dumped me back in August over an old incident she took the wrong way and because I did not meet her criteria for a lover. (I never did learn what those criteria were). I was crushed and tried to woo her back for a month to no avail and little by little let it go. I still love her, though. Occasionally, we exchange polite texts but have not seen each other at all for over three months. A couple weeks ago she asked me if I would do a headshot for her (I'm a professional photographer). I'm puzzled. Is this simply a headshot? (I'm pretty sure it is.) She knows my work and is probably pretty confident I'll do a good job and keep it cordial and non-threatening (which I will) Or is she testing the waters and using the headshot premise as a neutral meeting? Here is another big question. Should I charge her? She asked me how much I charge when she first asked about the headshot 9 I haven't answerd that yet) Edited November 29, 2016 by Onekey 1
basil67 Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 I doubt she wants a new relationship. And yes, you should charge her. Even if it's "mates rates" 2
Satu Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 It sounds like she just wants a freebie from someone who "did not meet her criteria for a lover," but happens to be a good photographer. Its impertinent of her to even ask you. ymmv. Take care. 1
Author Onekey Posted November 29, 2016 Author Posted November 29, 2016 (edited) Ahh, too bad. I'd love to reconcile but I'm afraid you may be right. Edited November 29, 2016 by Onekey 1
Author Onekey Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 I doubt she wants a new relationship. And yes, you should charge her. Even if it's "mates rates" I always welcome wisdom and insight. 1
Author Onekey Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 It sounds like she just wants a freebie from someone who "did not meet her criteria for a lover," but happens to be a good photographer. Its impertinent of her to even ask you. ymmv. Take care. Yes, in thinking about it more deeply, I see that she is on an executive track and around executive-type people. I have heard about one man in particular, her supervisor. Totally not me. (Not even close! hahahahaha!). Her mindset has shifted. My guess is she has secrets hots for him (despite lamenting his womanizing) and I pale in comparison. No problem. Better to let it go completely than to compete with a fantasy. It will be good to make a little extra cash. She will probably be surprised when I give her an invoice.
PegNosePete Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 She wants a good picture for her online dating profile. If you need the cash then charge her, normal rates. If you have enough business then tell her no sorry you don't mix your personal and professional lives.
JFReyes Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 Better to let it go completely than to compete with a fantasy. This is wisdom and insight, thank you!
Author Onekey Posted November 30, 2016 Author Posted November 30, 2016 This is wisdom and insight, thank you! As we all know, talk (and my written words) are just so. The heart has a mind of its own and takes a lot of persuading. These forums show a lot of consistency with how exes act and really help with that much needed persuasion. It is almost always a matter of just letting go and letting things be the way they are. I am grateful for the insights. 2
Slimtripper Posted November 30, 2016 Posted November 30, 2016 You aren't over here so 1) you shouldn't be speaking or replying to her 2) it's a NO to any work She said u were a bad lover now she wants to use you for a headshot, possibly to get laid with someone else. You're gonna go right back to the beginning of 3 months if u meet her. Block. Move on
Author Onekey Posted December 1, 2016 Author Posted December 1, 2016 You aren't over here so 1) you shouldn't be speaking or replying to her 2) it's a NO to any work She said u were a bad lover now she wants to use you for a headshot, possibly to get laid with someone else. You're gonna go right back to the beginning of 3 months if u meet her. Block. Move on Ha! You got my number. You are right. I am not over her. The message I got wasn't a bad lover but I did not meet her "criteria." I may be a good lay but not a substantial man. Here I am now, in my mind, hoping she wants to reconnect and see if there is still a spark but the community has a more objective, and most likely more accurate view. I am probably deluding myself. The session is already booked. It is supposed to be a business photo. When it comes to the actual image, I hold all the cards and can either make her look stunning or less so. But I'm a professional and never purposely do crappy work. She is a client.
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