ToBePampered Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 I am SO sorry for the pain you've been through. I'm giving you virtual hugs. In this time is most important hat you take care of yourself. You've been through a lot. Make sure you eat, sleep, and surround yourself with your friends and family to get you through this. Take it one day at a time. Try to stick to your normal routine as much as possible. There is no telling what her issue is. Only she knows that, and she owes you a proper explanation. No need to drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out. Imho your fiancée may. R bipolar. Is it possible that you've overlooked over mood changes, bursts of anger, bursts of love or euphoria?
Author imbo1993 Posted December 13, 2016 Author Posted December 13, 2016 Oh trust me breakupthrowaway663, the why has been going through my head almost every day since it happened, but its becoming far less now. I've reached the stage where I can almost take the mick out of her behaviour and how she's acted. Sure its been far from funny (just vile to be honest) but I can laugh at how stupid she has been. I think in my situation I'll never find out why, and do you know what, I don't really care that much anymore. I want to move on with my life now, I deserve to. All I ever wanted was to make that girl's life as happy as I could, which I know I did, but she's mucked everything up and there's no turning back. She's ruined all chances of that. I have to think that there will be someone better out there for me. Someone more deserving of my love. Thank you ToBePampered! I could do with the virtual hugs, although real ones would be better! haha. I've not let any of this ruin my daily routine. I honestly thought it would affect my work but I've only taken one day off since it happened, and that was down to no sleep the previous night. She does owe me a proper explanation, although I'm sure that will never happen, not that I care now. None of her reasons added up the night she left. They also didn't add up the day she met up with me for coffee. Her behaviour since leaving me has just been unacceptable and inexcusable. Even if she did have some sort of disorder, she knows I would have supported her. I supported her through everything. Now this is slightly different topic but my weekend away did me the world of good, big time, let alone a boost to my confidence. As I've already mentioned, the last thing on my mind is another relationship so soon but at the weekend, I couldn't help but notice so many attractive girls at the place we spent the day, which was a Center Parcs. One of my friends I stayed with works there, and briefly introduced me to one of her workmates, who I thought was stunning! My friend said she's single and would try and work her magic with her haha. I also saw a pretty girl working in one of the bars. I walked past her and gave her a little smile, to my surprise she gave me a lovely smile back. Does this sound bad that I'm thinking of girls in this way so soon. Trust me I don't want a relationship at all. It just all felt really good for my confidence. I never had confidence until I met my ex fiancee. Obviously confidence isn't too great at the moment but the weekend definitely helped boost it!
ty10 Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 Hi Imbo, good to see you improving. Take it one step at a time and don't force anything. I'm just picking up on something Saracena said about someone influencing you ex. Was there any mention of new friends or colleagues? Or perhaps It doesn't necessarily mean a new crush but perhaps a colleague they always hung out with at their work? I only say this from experience, the ex which led me to discover this place changed jobs a few weeks before our break up and started hanging around with old school friends. I've always had a gut feeling that she was being influenced by other people - she was never the type of girl who's take the lead even planning to go for a meal. Anyway, one day you'll stop looking for answers. I have as I know I'll never get them unless she reappears in my life and has remarkably grown up! But sometimes you need to find a few clues that help you move forward - that certainly helped with me.
Saracena Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 (edited) The one example that I can clearly recall of 'influencing' is when an ex-colleague split up with her husband. While I always suspected he had left her and while I didn't believe deep down she was all that bothered about the split at the later point when we met up, nonetheless part of her was a bit defensive when the topic of the split came up in conversation. I remember she made all these rather far-fetched claims about his unreasonable/irrational behaviour which, having known him for some years, I had great difficulty believing. When I eventually asked her what exactly he had been doing to merit all these negative labels, she looked at me blankly! She couldn't think of even one instance re his behaviour to illustrate her claims. Sounded to me from other convos we had, these were things she'd picked up during her discussions with her solicitor about her imminent divorce. People adopting a different persona while at work is nothing new to me. I remember calling an ex at work once about some property of his I still had. Although I was the one who had finished with him, when I called he acted like he was the one who had ended it with me and treated me like I was some sort of stalker calling, who wouldn't leave him alone!! He obviously had an audience at the time! I noticed the same type of thing with other colleagues when someone called them at work! They sounded like totally different people when some of us were within hearing distance! Odd. Edited December 14, 2016 by Saracena
Author imbo1993 Posted December 14, 2016 Author Posted December 14, 2016 I wouldn't say there was any mention of new friends at work. Like I said before, these were never people she would socialise with. I was pretty much the only person she ever went out with, other than with our families, or with my friends for a birthday celebration. She honestly had no real friends. Not really surprising though is it! At the end of the day though, at least I've got to that stage where I can try and look at the positives, or in other words, help myself move on.
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