smackie9 Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 (edited) Dirty talk? You think making out for weeks is unnatural but you think talking dirty with no physical contact is natural? I would find that so bizarre and so overtly sexual and utterly off-putting. I can't imagine dating a man for weeks and having dirty chat discussions with him and no physical contact, that's way too overtly sexual. People fall in love from kissing not from dirty talk Make out for weeks??? OMG hell no! Me never!.....sex happened quickly if the intensity was there. I didn't say you couldn't cuddle or hold hands or give a kiss.....If it's 10 or 20 mins of hot and heavy with groping....there need to be sex right on the kitchen or coffee table lol Trust me on this...guys LOVE dirty...that is how their brain works when it come to emotional connection......intrigue. Try it sometime. You will have them rubbing your feet and taking out the garbage for you in no time. Save Save Edited November 29, 2016 by smackie9 1
Sunkissedpatio Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 Trust me on this...guys LOVE dirty...that is how their brain works when it come to emotional connection......intrigue. Try it sometime. You will have them rubbing your feet and taking out the garbage for you in no time. Believe me I know all too well the effects of what it can get a guy to do if you wind him up sexually with sex talk. I would think though that if you were trying to slow things down and get to know someone leading with sexting and sex chat teasing would only fastrack the guy to thinking about sex even more. And thinking that is what you are after too. I think the goal here though is to get to know the guy enough to determine if she wants to sleep with him and take it further, hence the "how do I slow things down" and can we still kiss? I would find kissing is a natural progressing in dating, and it builds emotional romance as well as sexual tension, while sex talking is oversexing things before you've even had sex.
smackie9 Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 OK lets get on track here. The OP is having trouble guys hitting it and quitting it with her and wants to know how to prevent that..... It's not a matter of how one behaves ....it's a matter of being able to read them and see their intentions before things even get started. The truth is, YOUR actions will not change their intentions. You have to learn to see the clues from their tone of voice, the words they choose, body language, how they act around you, how they message you, how they make their moves, etc. You put those observation together to get your assessment. The other posters are right....it doesn't matter if you make them wait for sex, or figure out how to make out without it leading to sex. That's not how it works. They are just looking for sex, then that is all they want and nothing is going to change it. 1
Arieswoman Posted November 29, 2016 Posted November 29, 2016 ^^^^^ Smackie is spot-on here. OP, you need to decide what you want and set some boundaries. Now, having boundaries won't modify people's behaviour or make then do what you want them to do. But, what it does do is keep people you don't want in your life, out of it. Once you start having boundaries, you start having more control over your life, and this will give you more self-respect, and more confidence. Then you can start attracting the type of guy you want. Good luck.
Author Sendmewings Posted December 1, 2016 Author Posted December 1, 2016 IMO, you don't have to have a "make out sesh" to build sexual tension....that's what flirting and sexual innuendo is for. To me make out seshes should lead to sex. There is no way IMO making a guy sexually frustrated "builds sexual tension" in a positive way...it builds blue balls. like many of my guy friends have told me...it's actually frickin painful and not fun at all. I wouldn't want some guy to tell me "we need to stop"...hell that would be a one way ticket to the curb. So the best way is not to have them....flirt, and dirty talk is fine. This is what I needed to hear. So far he says all the right things. About wanting a relationship. I guess only time will tell. As far as boundaries I have been getting better and seeing red flags and have dismissed many guys who seem inappropriate. im sure after enough dating mistakes I will finally get it.
Miss Spider Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 (edited) I know guys get turned on really easily. When dating is it ok to wait until he calls you his girlfriend to have sex? I've dated many men who lie about commitment and when they get what they want they run. I'm trying to weed out those type of men. Is it ok to makeout if it's not going to lead to sex and how do I tell a guy this without scaring him off I assume when you mean lie about commitment you mean they are very vague with it, i.e."let's see where this goes.." type of thing. This string-a-long is very common. If a guy is looking to build a relationship with you and not just sex, telling him you want to wait will not scare him off. However, if he gets the impression you're using sex as some kind of bargaining chip for commitment, which it looks like you're trying to do, that will probably scare him off. There's no way to guarantee commitment. People lie to get what they want. Best bet is to do what you want and have sex when YOU want to. You stop the make out session from progressing by saying you're not ready yet. Edited December 23, 2016 by Cookiesandough
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