Miappy Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 My fiancee and i have been living together for a year now. we been together for 11 years. One thing that she does that has affected me all these years is the humiliating me in front of my friends, in public and in front of my clients who call by shouting when i am on the phone or with them, when i make her wait. yesterday, it has gone a step further. 1) She screamed and ranted non stop at me for half an hour in the Uber car when i expressed disappointment at her for getting the directions wrong. we were rushing to meet friends. Words like Fark you and you are a farker were used. She cried too. The uber driver almost let us out. She even tried to blame her mistake on me for rushing us because of work. Screamed to the driver that i wouldn pay for it as a gentleman would even if it was her mistake. 2) She refused to lend me some cash to pay for lunch as our friends waited for us. I had to walk half hour to the ATM to get it and back. she wanted to make me walk. 3) When a client called and we were at marks and spencers, she shouted at me : HEY HOW LONG ARE YOU PLANNING TO KEEP ME WAITING? IM TIRED AND HUNGRY! YOU ARE SO DISRESPECTFUL. My client excused himself after. I was so angry that you guys know what? I did not do a thing. I walked away and left her there. Usually I would shout back or verbally abuse her but yeah this time nothing. only a pained look + angry face and then walked off. Then I informed her that i would be removing her name from our office cum apartment as i did not have the confidence that she would know how to behave herself if we had clients over. She cried and cried and told me i promised never to use our home as collateral and that she wanted to cancel our new house (still building) which was coming next year when i told her to about the removal of her name from the home office (SOHO) we were supposed to move into next month. I had no feelings or reaction. Then the next morning, she didnt go to work, woke up crying and hitting me when i tried to hold her and stomped off after dressing up, refused to let me look at her phone on purpose. she claimed she would be moving out over the next few days from our current rented apartment and blocked me on the phone but kept her FB open. half an hour later she came back to our room, looked for stuff, loitered around took a small black bag and left in a huff. I would be the one pacifying her usually and chasing her back but now i dont feel the need to nor do i have the heart to do so as well. i just let her go. i am not sure what this means or how i will cope in future but i feel like after item number 3, something inside me just died as a man or maybe for her. I am a blank now and just doing my work and burying myself into games and work. Not sure what to do or feel now. not sure if its over this time. Please advise. 1
BAcK Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 Only one advice for you. NEVER ever compromise with your SELF RESPECT for anyone. If you feel you are not being respected enough, it is time to let go. A relationship is built on love, trust and respect. If any of these is missing, the relationship is not worth it. 1
fromheart Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 (edited) If you marry this woman, you'll die a lot younger. Do yourself the biggest favor and get out of there. She's abusive and potentially violent. Definitely not marriage and family material. So many times I see men on this forum taking abuse, and sticking with it because when she calms down she's great. Abusive people tend to have two sides to them, and your going to have to live with both if you settle with them. You'll be forever thinking that she'll get better one day. In her calm moments, she will promise to change but never will. That dark side will get worse and worse. The only way out for such people is lots of therapy and hardcore self work. Sounds like she'll just be content to find a man to take it all out on though. Edited November 28, 2016 by fromheart
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