Mkn1010 Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 So one week ago I started chatting to a guy I met online, and he asked me out for that following Sat (the weekend that just passed). When chatting, we came to find out that we had pretty much the EXACT same experience with our exes, down to the finer detail, and that was pretty mind-blowing as the stories are pretty unique. We also had the same life mottos and views etc, it was kind of nuts! The thing is, I don't know whether he's just laying on the bells and whistles thickly or being genuine.... Before he even met me face-to-face, he called me an "earth-bound angel". I assumed this was because of our past stories and the things I experienced and lived through. I asked him why he was complimenting me and whether he was just wanting so badly to experience 'love feelings'. He said that I stood out on the dating app "like a lighthouse in the dark" and that he had started multiple convos with other women but they just had nothing on me. On the date, he brought me a HUGE box of roses, extremely generous and surprising for a first date. I was finding the whole experience overwhelming as, to be honest, I've been used to being treated badly. Then after the date, he texted to say that I was "more beautiful and interesting than he could have dreamed of". I ended up messaging him to ask that we take things slowly as I had to get used to all the attention and compliments are not really my thing. And his response was pretty fabulous. Later that weekend, however, he told me that he's booked us in for horse riding in a couple of weeks (I mentioned on a date that I'd always wanted to go). I also didn't feel like we were totally connecting on our date and I was actually VERY quiet because I was overwhelmed. So I'm not exactly sure if he GENUINELY likes me and all the above is not just some elaborate courting effort. What do you guys think? 1
frus69 Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 I think you are spending way too much effort analyzing over a guy you only know for a week 1
spiderowl Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 He seems very taken by you but I think you are wise to wonder if it is an elaborate dating effort. Some guys come on very strong straightaway and then lose interest when they have got what they want. You could maybe try to pace things a bit and see if his interest stays past the first couple of dates. 4
Shanex Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 I understand why the OP would analyze this a lot, since the guy is very forward, probably overly so. I think he's genuine, but is coming off too strong. I was once in this guy shoes in my early 20 only to fade away because of losing interest after some weeks or months as written by spiderowl above. Some men call these guys ''white knight'' or worse ''simp''. 3
Grey40 Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 (edited) Some guys fall in "love" so easily it's amazing. I've had friends that literally fall in love with any girl they actually go on a date with. And then become obsessed. It's strange. Usually most girls are really scared off or creeped out by guys coming on strong like you're saying, and most girls would say they'd lose attraction because of that, but it seems like you haven't. If you're not feeling the same way though, that's not good. He needs to tone it down, and you may have to tell him to if it keeps up. Right now it could be similar to the "eyes are bigger than your stomach" scenario. Because you share a lot of similarities AND he's attracted to you, he's jumping the gun thinking "wow I've really found the one" and he may realize as you hang out more that maybe he doesn't like you as much as he thought. Most things that seem too good to be true, usually are. Edited November 28, 2016 by Grey40 1
winny Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 So are you going to keep seeing him even though you dont see a connection?
TheTraveler Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 So are you going to keep seeing him even though you dont see a connection? I will agree with this. And to add, he already pulled the lockdown mode on you with a horse ride two weeks out. 1
Author Mkn1010 Posted November 28, 2016 Author Posted November 28, 2016 Sadly, for me, I have only felt 'connections' with very few people and they have always been terrible relationship material. I read that this may have something to do with the familiarity of being treated badly. I'm 30 years old now but have only had one relationship with somebody who can best be descried as rotten inside! So I'm not sure if I was just really uncomfortable with this guy as it's just been a long time anyone has done anything sweet like that for me! I'm not sure if I will continue to date him, but I honestly feel a little pressured to go on the horse riding trip that he booked and paid for already (without checking with me). I mentioned on our date that I volunteer in a big sister program for troubled youth and that my teenage buddy was very flat at the moment, so he booked a ticket for her TOO!
Blackened Heart Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 Wow talk about coming on really strong. Honestly OP I don't think there is any kind of alternative motive to the guy, rather he seems a bit inexperience and is trying way too hard. If you like him enough, you can tell him to relax it some and slow it down a bit, as that is way too much too fast for any gender. 1
TheTraveler Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 Sadly, for me, I have only felt 'connections' with very few people and they have always been terrible relationship material. I read that this may have something to do with the familiarity of being treated badly. I'm 30 years old now but have only had one relationship with somebody who can best be descried as rotten inside! So I'm not sure if I was just really uncomfortable with this guy as it's just been a long time anyone has done anything sweet like that for me! I'm not sure if I will continue to date him, but I honestly feel a little pressured to go on the horse riding trip that he booked and paid for already (without checking with me). I mentioned on our date that I volunteer in a big sister program for troubled youth and that my teenage buddy was very flat at the moment, so he booked a ticket for her TOO! This is WAY too much right off the bat. This is NOT normal. I would run for Mount Everest and never look back
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