Doesn't look like I'll get a 2nd date

[offred34]

For starters I've very little experience when it comes to dating girls, anyway a few months ago I met this amazing girl online, we are both in our 20s, we absolutely hit it off right away, within days we had swapped phone numbers and was mailing each other,phone calls, snapchats ,Skype ect 24/7!

 

We both live in different countries but feelings was so strong I'd booked flights to come see her within a few weeks, at this point she was saying how she loved me and knew she wanted to spend her life with me,

 

So I arrived over to see her for the first time( we had been talking for 6 weeks at this point) she asked could she spend the night in the hotel i booked with me, so we could make the most of our time together, I didn't see a problem so I agreed,

 

we had the most amazing weekend together, she told me many times during the weekend that she wanted me back over again, we got along brilliant, we kissed literally a thousands times, and we made love, I took her out for dinner, she even introduced me to some of her family everything went better than I could of expected,

 

Going home I waited with her at a bus stop she kissed me good bye and said I'll chat you soon! That was the last proper conversation I had with her.

 

When I came home she had totally changed she actually never texted me first after that, and then texts started drying up, I asked her out straight did she still like me and she said yes,but something was obviously up, she never texts me anymore now, but yet she still sends me snapchats but won't have a conversation via text.

If she's not interested why not just stop contacting me at all, when I'm reciving snap chats I don't no where I stand,

Is it possible that she was only after a free night in a hotel and a free meal which she got? After spending a lot of cash going to see her she could at least be honest with me.

[Expectmore]

Its true.

Dont worry About it. Lesson learned.

Experiment. Girls like to be with a leader.

Walk up to random cute girls annd say" Hey your kinda cute" I think you should give me your number. Then hand your phone to her and put her on the spot. While saying I think we would have fun together..

Try that same setup as many time as it takes to over being nervous. And i bet you get numbers.

But even try for the ones you know are going to reject you. Thats the point....

Especially groups. Doubles your chances and shows you have balls of steel.

If she says no then laugh it off and say alright cutey see you around and walk off.

[LonelyInsomniac]

Do you let her know how much the courting/constant contact meant to you?

 

Do you initiate?

 

It could be that after meeting, her preferred method of interacting with you has changed. She might want more visually oriented methods, having met you in person and after noticing your body language.

 

It could be that meeting and being intimate has moved this relationship out of the honeymoon phase for her, and she's gotten a bit complacent.

 

Worst case scenario: after time to reflect, she might just not be as attracted to you as she thought she would be, or is taking time to reconcile between the fantasy and the reality.

 

Kind of quick to jump to conclusions of money grabber. Then again, also super quick to book a flight after 6 weeks.

[joseb]

this point she was saying how she loved me and knew she wanted to spend her life with me

Sorry, she is either full of it or a bit crazy.

 

She is in love and wants to spend the rest of her life with you, and she hasnt even met you???!!!!!!

 

She either just wanted a weekend of fun (are you sure she is single?) or realised that this fantasy you two had created in your heads before even meeting was impossible to live up to.

 

Go find women to date that are where you are living.

 

And don't get invested in anyone until you meet them.

Keep contact to a minimum until you meet them. Mailing/skyping 24/7? No.

[winny]

I have known girls in my life who would unnecessarily use a good guy... just for some fun and laughter. It is disgusting.

It is totally possible, she did all of this as a bet with someone.

You seem very naive and she seems very cunning. She is keeping you around for anything she might need in future. Girls like these like to keep a herd of admirers so that they can use them.

Block her and try to forget this incident. It was a bad experience but next time maybe post here and ask before taking the flight or at least talk to your close friends and take their feedback on a situation like this.

What do you mean second date? Are you thinking of flying there again if she sends you some more lovey-dovey messages? Just get out of this mess asap.

[morrowrd]

Welcome to microwave dating. Things start fast, and sometimes (most times) end faster. You met a stranger online, met in real life, and one of you had second thoughts, in this case, her. How easy it is to fade, given the distance... although her sparse communication is probably due to conscience. She knows you made a huge effort to come and see her, yet in spite of all the hype and emotional build-up prior to the visit, not to mention the ridiculous "I love you's" going back and forth (c'mon now), she was disappointed nevertheless. The opposite would be happening if that wasn't true.

 

In microwave dating, learn to get thicker skin, learn to cut your losses. What happened to you, has happened to EVERYONE who has participated in online dating. It's a big club. The truth of the matter is that you rolled the dice here and lost. Maybe next time, learn the hard lesson of maybe meeting a little sooner than later, someone closer, for COFFEE or drinks, and talk. It's alot more efficient, not to mention cheaper.

[offred34]

Cheers for the response, looking back now I was probably foolish to jump on a plane that quickly to go visit her, just in case your wondering i didn't fly across the Atlantic other or anything it was a short 1 hour flight between Ireland and the United Kingdom!!!

 

Lessons have been learnt:laugh: