6 dates, sex, and now silence

[winny]

It' only been 2 hours? that's nothing. I'm positive he will get back to you today, probably just sleeping..

 

But all quiet yesterday and what bothered me most was how he didn't want to make out at all in the morning on Friday... there was just something... a gut instinct that made me to feel... something isn't right... which was put to ease when he initiated texting after reaching home.... but the total silence yesterday and today till now... is bothering me.... mostly also because of the timing of it --- after the first time we had sex.

[Gaeta]

But all quiet yesterday and what bothered me most was how he didn't want to make out at all in the morning on Friday... there was just something... a gut instinct that made me to feel... something isn't right... which was put to ease when he initiated texting after reaching home.... but the total silence yesterday and today till now... is bothering me.... mostly also because of the timing of it --- after the first time we had sex.

 

You have to leave it all to life. If he comes back good if he doesn't than move on to find someone better. It doesn't mean he is a bad guy. You don't know him, it's possible sex made him realized he is not ready for a relationship. These things happen all the time unfortunately.

[rebelstrike]

But all quiet yesterday and what bothered me most was how he didn't want to make out at all in the morning on Friday... there was just something... a gut instinct that made me to feel... something isn't right... which was put to ease when he initiated texting after reaching home.... but the total silence yesterday and today till now... is bothering me.... mostly also because of the timing of it --- after the first time we had sex.

 

I know it sucks but being anxious about it right now is the last thing you should do, go out to see a flick, go to the gym etc... just occupy your mind for a bit and he will get back to you in no time!

[winny]

You have to leave it all to life. If he comes back good if he doesn't than move on to find someone better. It doesn't mean he is a bad guy. You don't know him, it's possible sex made him realized he is not ready for a relationship. These things happen all the time unfortunately.

 

I know, and I am not angry or hating him .... he was the one who said he wants an intimate relationship and thats what he is looking for... I would just be so disappointed... this silence thing sucks... moreover when he said he likes to have clear communication always.

[losangelena]

I know, and I am not angry or hating him .... he was the one who said he wants an intimate relationship and thats what he is looking for... I would just be so disappointed... this silence thing sucks... moreover when he said he likes to have clear communication always.

 

I find that the people who claim to want clear communication, or who claim to be good communicators, often aren't.

 

I think you'd have a right to be angry if this guy disappears on you. It, sadly, would not be the most shocking thing if that happened. But it's selfish to say you want something (a relationship) and to act as if that's what you want, and in the end have that not be the case. If that's what happened here, this guy is rotten to the core. He's got no regard for you, your feelings, or how this might effect your ability to trust men in the future.

 

I hope, hope, hope that doesn't happen to you, but if it does, you're fully justified in thinking this guy is a creep.

[winny]

Got a text from him few mins back - "Feeling slightly better thanks".

Should I say anything?

[JoeSmith357-1]

From a guys perspective here, you are looking SUPER needy / clingy...

 

Give him some space for christs sake...

[winny]

From a guys perspective here, you are looking SUPER needy / clingy...

 

Give him some space for christs sake...

 

How? I only responded to his texts which he initiated on Friday and asked him how his throat was. I didnt text him at all yesterday and this morning dropped a text to check how he is feeling. Guess I want some more light on how not to look clingy if this is clingy..... help... and should I respond to this text now or not?

[hippychick3]

How? I only responded to his texts which he initiated on Friday and asked him how his throat was. I didnt text him at all yesterday and this morning dropped a text to check how he is feeling. Guess I want some more light on how not to look clingy if this is clingy..... help... and should I respond to this text now or not?

 

I would simply respond "Glad to hear."

[ElizabethIII]

Point noted... not texting him anymore... dropped him a text just so that he knows I am there...

 

He knows you are there without a text.

[Gaeta]

How? I only responded to his texts which he initiated on Friday and asked him how his throat was. I didnt text him at all yesterday and this morning dropped a text to check how he is feeling. Guess I want some more light on how not to look clingy if this is clingy..... help... and should I respond to this text now or not?

 

Do not worry, You did nothing wrong.

 

Just reply something generic like 'glad you're getting better'.

 

I would not reply right away, but it's your call.

[Sara1989]

How? I only responded to his texts which he initiated on Friday and asked him how his throat was. I didnt text him at all yesterday and this morning dropped a text to check how he is feeling. Guess I want some more light on how not to look clingy if this is clingy..... help... and should I respond to this text now or not?

 

I am sorry but your gut instinct was right, it sounds like he is bailing on you after he got what he wanted his reply leaves nothing for you to text back.

 

He sounds like one of the worst type of guys you can date, the ones who enjoy romancing a woman...taking their time and making them believe they have feelings when really they are only after one thing.

[Gaeta]

Got a text from him few mins back - "Feeling slightly better thanks".

Should I say anything?

 

He is not asking how you are doing?

 

It's weak.

[ElizabethIII]

He has a sore throat, he isnt dying.

 

he replied to your second text that he is a bit better, no asking how you are.

 

I would take that as a sign that he isnt bothered. I wouldnt reply right away and if you do, just something non committal.

[winny]

I have not responded yet. I am actually going out on a lunch date in some time with another guy.

I am having a sinking feeling in my heart though....

[winny]

.

He sounds like one of the worst type of guys you can date, the ones who enjoy romancing a woman...taking their time and making them believe they have feelings when really they are only after one thing.

 

I am not trying to think much.. else this will kill me... to get my confidence back to trust a guy enough....

[losangelena]

I have not responded yet. I am actually going out on a lunch date in some time with another guy.

I am having a sinking feeling in my heart though....

 

Wait, so you're gonna be heartbroken if he disappears, but you've already got another date lined up?

 

Girl ...

[winny]

Wait, so you're gonna be heartbroken if he disappears, but you've already got another date lined up?

 

Girl ...

 

Yes, why shouldn't I meet new people?

I was turning down all date invitations in past couple of weeks because of this guy but today someone asked for lunch so I said yes to take my mind off this....

[losangelena]

Right, but what if this guy really is just sick? You're writing him off so quickly? Would you be thrilled if you knew he was going out with other women? You made it seem like your six dates were building to something, but at the first hint of doubt, it just seems like you're chucking things out the window.

 

If it's just been casual, it's casual, but you seem upset enough over it to make it seem like it wasn't just casual. I can understand both sides, but I do feel like you should pick one.

[joseb]

Wait, so you're gonna be heartbroken if he disappears, but you've already got another date lined up?

 

Girl ...

 

Yeah, sorry if I was as invested in someone as you say you are, I wouldn't be lining up another date the second they get sick. I wouldn't be able to, or want to.

 

Sure, it's possible that he had lost interest, but given that you know he is indeed sick then I think you are jumping the gun a bit too quickly.

[winny]

Yeah, sorry if I was as invested in someone as you say you are, I wouldn't be lining up another date the second they get sick. I wouldn't be able to, or want to.

 

Sure, it's possible that he had lost interest, but given that you know he is indeed sick then I think you are jumping the gun a bit too quickly.

 

I have spent weeks in past lamenting over guys who ghosted me after some dates... and I learnt its of no use. And yes I like this guy the most and I stopped visiting the OLD site because of him... but I need to stop feeling so down. I didnt eat all day yesterday.... was in my room... so I need to go out n have some lunch... and I found some company and he knows my situation and he asked me to have lunch with him... and I am kind of crying inside right now but also trying to have something to eat.... I cant eat alone in this mood...

[MarkIVSteel]

I have not responded yet. I am actually going out on a lunch date in some time with another guy.

I am having a sinking feeling in my heart though....

 

Many men wouldn't think too highly of a woman who goes on a date because he's sick and couldn't respond to a text.

[losangelena]

Then grab a girlfriend and go commiserate. You don't need a man to make you feel better. Jesus, if I left if up to a man's opinion/attention to make me feel good, I'd be unhappy for a long, long time.

 

I get it. We're all just trying our best and coping can be hard, but it does make you entreaties for sympathy sound a bit empty.

[Mrin]

I have not responded yet. I am actually going out on a lunch date in some time with another guy.

I am having a sinking feeling in my heart though....

 

Terrible idea. Wait. How did you all of a sudden conjure up a date with another guy. I mean, up until what, 48 hours ago you were all taken in with this man. And now you have a lunch date scheduled with another guy? Because he's only texted you once in this 48 hour period? A period where he's said he was sick?

 

How would you feel if the tables were turned? That you got sick and didn't text him but once in 48 hours and he just went ahead and booked up another date with another woman?

 

You seriously need to step back. I'm not saying he's a good guy or that he's not blowing you off. But you're self medicating with copious amounts of self pity, dismay and attention seeking. Do you really think that's wise?

 

I'd give it a couple of more days before resorting to such measures. Plus, do you really think it is fair to LunchGuy?

[Gr8fuln2020]

I have not responded yet. I am actually going out on a lunch date in some time with another guy.

I am having a sinking feeling in my heart though....

 

What is this 'sinking feeling?' That you may be making a mistake?

 

Do what you need to do. Go on this date with this other guy. Keep it simple, platonic. You've already planned it and agreed to it. If the first guy isn't serious yet, no harm, right? If you want to give this other guy a chance, the one who's slept with you, respond to his text and ask him or tell him that you'd like to go out once he's better. No sex. Just a proper date.

 

No one, including you, know for certain if he's BSing you about being sick. He may not have been on a dating site since Wednesday, but that doesn't mean he doesn't already have some other girl's number on his phone.

 

He must have been really sick to no been able to text you about it. The whole day after having sex with you. Suddenly sick and incapable of texting you....hmmmm....