6 dates, sex, and now silence

[winny]

Well, I guess I am looking for some sympathy and clarity...

 

Met a guy on an online dating site... dorky, a bit clumsy, cute looking, funny, playful and super into me from date 1. He would wear my favorite color, ask me a lot of questions about myself, my work, my friends, family, tell me about his, ask me out on dates, pay, keep in touch every day thru texts... call me his princess and behave very gentlemanly.... once even put my shoes on my feet for me... gave me a cute nickname as well.

 

Physically also we were progressing from holding hands, to kissing to making out. Lot of snuggling and hugging... he was open with his PDA in malls and theaters when we met.

 

We had 6 dates in total. 2 (4th and 6th) of which he spent at my apartment. The first time (4th date) he was at my place, we had dinner that I cooked and then kissed and made out all night and then all morning... didn't sleep....too much passion and frankly I had never stayed awake kissing someone all night before this. We didn't have sex that night... but I knew it will happen soon and I felt it is right time to do it before getting into a relationship I should know this aspect as well.

 

On the 5th date (movie at theater and then he took me for a walk in the mountains near his house and we sat under the stars and just talked while he put his arms around me) he invited me to Thanksgiving dinner with his Dad. Although surprised I found it sincere so I accepted.

 

2 days later on the day of Thanksgiving he said the dinner changed to a small lunch and he is sorry. He will get me ice cream to make up when we meet later. We had already planned to hangout at my place that evening post the Thanksgiving dinner.

 

So he showed up - but with no ice-cream - I teased him about it and he said he forgot and wanted to go n buy it but I said its okay. After some time we started making out and had sex. After that he took me out to get me the ice cream he promised. He was being playful, kissing me, holding my hands and opening car door... and that put me at ease about the sex we had. Once home he put the pizza we bought in oven, the ice cream in refrigerator and arranged some other stuff I bought in their places in my apt. I found it all adorable but thats how he always behaved so I didnt take it as something exceptional. He was being sweet n nice as always. We had the pizza and ice cream watched a movie and fell asleep in each other's arms.

 

Morning when we woke up... I wanted to make out but he didn't seem in the mood. He was having cold and throat infection since our 5th movie date and I assumed maybe thats why.... he left after some time. Afterwards he texted to say that he reached home. I replied saying hope his throat feels better. Some hours later he again texted to say that he went for a run and it was great. We exchanged few texts. In the evening I texted to ask how his throat is feeling and he said - "Terrible". I sent him a funny text but no response. Then 2-3 hrs later I again sent a text jokingly saying... okay wont disturb u with my lame jokes... u take care and hope u feel better soon. He replied saying... I am sorry but I am feeling terrible. I said its okay take care and don't hesitate to ask if you need something. And he said - I wouldn't know what to ask for. I said... anything that makes u feel better since u r sick.

 

Never got a response after that.

 

This was Friday late night. No texts from him all of Saturday. So today morning I dropped him a text asking how is he feeling... is the throat better now... and its been 2 hrs but no response yet.

Has he decided to ghost me? Should I just move on now?

Did he do all that just for the sex??? All those questions and so many plans... even asking me how I suggest we should get to know each other more... why go into all this ... when you can just log into Tinder n find a hook up....

I am not feeling bad about the sex cause I wanted to do it but I am disappointed because I felt such a connection with him.... it was like being with a close friend always teasing n being playful and thats how he was till we went to sleep that night and I dont know what changed when he woke up... or that he is terribly sick??? Should I text again in few days?

[gcp]

If he really is sick, give him some time. Its really only been a day without a text? Just see if he texts you, i know i get in some weird moods when im truly sick.

[MarkIVSteel]

Chill. He's sick. He might not be in the best mood to text. He'll eventually respond to you.

[MarkIVSteel]

If he really is sick, give him some time. Its really only been a day without a text? Just see if he texts you, i know i get in some weird moods when im truly sick.

 

Yeah, if I'm sick. I might see a text but be too tired or demotivated to reply so I'll just put the phone down, roll over and go back to sleep.

[Shining One]

I'd recommend waiting to see if he reaches out to you in a few days. When I'm sick, I prefer to be left alone. It took my girlfriend quite a while to get used to that since she's the complete opposite when she's sick.

[winny]

Yeah I will wait for few days... guess there is no other option also... time will tell...

[winny]

If he really is sick, give him some time. Its really only been a day without a text? Just see if he texts you, i know i get in some weird moods when im truly sick.

 

He was sick... he gargled salt water that Thanksgiving night and was blowing his nose... and in the morning asked me if I have any vodka for his throat...

[Gaeta]

Men are very different than us when they're sick. We want to be comforted, they don't, most of the time they want to feel miserable on their own.

 

Give it a few days.

[LargoLagg]

You're this far away from being that great girl I'm going out with to that needy chick who wouldn't leave me alone while I was sick.

[ElizabethIII]

Men are very different than us when they're sick. We want to be comforted, they don't, most of the time they want to feel miserable on their own.

 

Give it a few days.

 

Not always. My first bf was like a baby when he was sick. he wanted to be waited on hand and foot. Even with a simple runny nose, he would sit there and say make me coffee, I am ill.

 

he frequently used to drink too much and have a hang over. I point blank refused to look after him as it was self inflicted. We used to have fights over it as he thought I should hand around looking after him and making him drinks and being his nurse maid.

 

Some men are utter babies when sick, they dont all want to be left alone.

 

Whatever you do OP, dont text him. I got to the 6 date mark with someone once. He went quiet and I asked him what was up, he told me he didnt want to see me anymore. I wish I had just left it alone and not been told a thing.

[Gaeta]

Not always. My first bf was like a baby when he was sick. he wanted to be waited on hand and foot. Even with a simple runny nose, he would sit there and say make me coffee, I am ill.

 

he frequently used to drink too much and have a hang over. I point blank refused to look after him as it was self inflicted. We used to have fights over it as he thought I should hand around looking after him and making him drinks and being his nurse maid.

 

Some men are utter babies when sick, they dont all want to be left alone.

 

Whatever you do OP, dont text him. I got to the 6 date mark with someone once. He went quiet and I asked him what was up, he told me he didnt want to see me anymore. I wish I had just left it alone and not been told a thing.

 

Yes I agree but the key word here is he was your 'boyfriend'. He could allow himself to look and be vulnerable in front of you.

 

OP and this guy only had a handful of dates.

[winny]

Whatever you do OP, dont text him. I got to the 6 date mark with someone once. He went quiet and I asked him what was up, he told me he didnt want to see me anymore. I wish I had just left it alone and not been told a thing.

 

Yeah not texting him anymore. I thought I should check on him today since he is sick and we had zero communication yesterday. I didn't want to look indifferent. But I am not texting him anymore. The ball is in his court now.

[DK_Casus]

I don't mean to exaggerate or anything, but it could have developed into something serious.

 

That said, it does seem odd - and my first guess is that he was using it as an excuse to bail.

[losangelena]

As stated, give it some time. Every man I know turns into a huge grouch when they're sick, so just leave him be. You'll know soon enough if he's ghosting you, or if it's just a case of extraordinarily bad timing.

[Gaeta]

Whatever you do OP, dont text him. I got to the 6 date mark with someone once. He went quiet and I asked him what was up, he told me he didnt want to see me anymore. I wish I had just left it alone and not been told a thing.

 

I agree with that part too.

 

Leave the guy alone. He will bounce right back or he will disappear. You texting him will not change the future.

[Gaeta]

Yeah not texting him anymore. I thought I should check on him today since he is sick and we had zero communication yesterday. I didn't want to look indifferent. But I am not texting him anymore. The ball is in his court now.

 

Is he browsing online on the dating app? That will give you your answer.

[winny]

You're this far away from being that great girl I'm going out with to that needy chick who wouldn't leave me alone while I was sick.

 

Point noted... not texting him anymore... dropped him a text just so that he knows I am there...

[ElizabethIII]

Yes I agree but the key word here is he was your 'boyfriend'. He could allow himself to look and be vulnerable in front of you.

 

OP and this guy only had a handful of dates.

 

He was like this from day 1.

 

It wasnt vulnerability either. It was selfishness and laziness.

[losangelena]

The only thing that jumps out as strange, OP, is that he said he went for a run after he got home, but if he was really feeling so awful, why would he go for a run? Unless doing so set him back.

[winny]

Is he browsing online on the dating app? That will give you your answer.

 

Just checked... last online was on Wednesday 4.55 pm... so he hasnt been online in few days...

[Gaeta]

The only thing that jumps out as strange, OP, is that he said he went for a run after he got home, but if he was really feeling so awful, why would he go for a run? Unless doing so set him back.

 

Some people think they can sweat out a cold.

[Gaeta]

Just checked... last online was on Wednesday 4.55 pm... so he hasnt been online in few days...

 

Ok so no reasons to not give him the benefit of the doubt. Let him get back to you. He already has your last text waiting, no point double or triple texting him.

[winny]

The only thing that jumps out as strange, OP, is that he said he went for a run after he got home, but if he was really feeling so awful, why would he go for a run? Unless doing so set him back.

 

I thought about that too... only thing in his favor was he did 4 miles and seemed unhappy with it since he generally does much more than that.... and he had told me he has made a commitment to go running so...

 

But it is weird nevertheless...

[winny]

Ok so no reasons to not give him the benefit of the doubt. Let him get back to you. He already has your last text waiting, no point double or triple texting him.

 

Yes, agree...

[rebelstrike]

It' only been 2 hours? that's nothing. I'm positive he will get back to you today, probably just sleeping..