4x4storm Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 So I'll keep it short and sweet I've been in a relationship with her for about a month now and she's a dancer. Tonight she is performing on stage she was able to get me late tickets so I will be going with her family to watch her. But here's the issue yesterday I woke up with a raging cold sore I tried treating it with stuff I already had but it just got worse. So last night I raced up to the chemist and stacked up on medicine that should help I even took double dosages of some in a panic. So I told her I was sick and there could be a chance of me not showing up. She pretty much said that's fine but she will be really disappointed. So today is the performance and I have woken up worse then last night. A good portion of my lower lip is swollen and disgusting I've told her I get cold sores she understands but has never actually seen me like this. I honestly don't know what to do should I still show up in this bad shape? She was wanting to introduce me to all her dance friends tonight but my head is saying stay home and rest for work tomorrow. Please help !
elaine567 Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 YOU are honestly going to miss her performance because you have a cold sore??? 3
ElizabethIII Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 YOU are honestly going to miss her performance because you have a cold sore??? My mom gets cold sores very badly and her whole lip area and under her nose gets red raw and swollen and it scabs. It looks bad and people either stare at her or look away and she feels self conscious. If the OP gets it that bad, I am not surprised he doesnt want to meet his gfs friends looking like that. it has only been one month, there will be plenty of time to meet the friends and see a performance. 1
elaine567 Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 My mom gets cold sores very badly and her whole lip area and under her nose gets red raw and swollen and it scabs. It looks bad and people either stare at her or look away and she feels self conscious. If the OP gets it that bad, I am not surprised he doesnt want to meet his gfs friends looking like that. it has only been one month, there will be plenty of time to meet the friends and see a performance. I am well aware of how bad cold sores can be, but he only has it on his lower lip, like just about everyone else who gets cold sores... 1
Author 4x4storm Posted November 26, 2016 Author Posted November 26, 2016 YOU are honestly going to miss her performance because you have a cold sore??? I really don't think you understand how bad it looks and yes the person above is right I get them much worse then the average person. The last thing I wanna be doing is showing up with giant pus filled sore on my face. 2
ElizabethIII Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 I really don't think you understand how bad it looks and yes the person above is right I get them much worse then the average person. The last thing I wanna be doing is showing up with giant pus filled sore on my face. Your gf will understand. I wouldnt want to meet anyone new looking the way my mom does when she has them. 1
Dis Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 I understand both points made above In the end you'll just have to decide which is more important to you Making your gf happy? Or Avoiding an uncomfortable situtation? You're in a tough spot because...you either disappoint her and miss out on being there to see her perform or attend the event feeling extremely self conscious For what its worth, it probably doesnt look at bad to other people as it does to you...dont get me wrong...it doesnt sound pretty at all but you're your own worst critic I would say....go. In a few weeks you wont look back thinking...omg that cold sore ruined the night! You'll look back and remember how happy she was to have you there But if you dont go...you might look back and regret not sucking it up and being there for her Best of luck with whatever you decide! 1
winny Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 We are forgetting that cold sores are contagious and if he is going to meet so many people then he may create awkward situation. People may ask him what he has on his lip n he has to explain n then people maybe disgusted that he had oral herpes. My suggestion is that to excuse himself. He is sick... There will be many dance performances n he should meet her family n friends when he is feeling his best. Other option is he goes n attends but doesnt meet anyone.
Dis Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 We are forgetting that cold sores are contagious and if he is going to meet so many people then he may create awkward situation. People may ask him what he has on his lip n he has to explain n then people maybe disgusted that he had oral herpes. My suggestion is that to excuse himself. He is sick... There will be many dance performances n he should meet her family n friends when he is feeling his best. Other option is he goes n attends but doesnt meet anyone. Cold sores are contagious...but only through direct contact So the only person he could pass it on to is his gf if he kissed her....and I'm guessing she'll opt out of that 1
Grey40 Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 Dude, if you can physically go you should go. If you had a fever, nasuea, etc then I could see, but that seems like a lame excuse. Most of the people will never see you again, no big deal. I think she'll be happy if you go. Brownie points that you came out despite having that. 1
Sara1989 Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 You have only been dating a month so she may think you are lieing. I know it may not be attractive but send her a picture of your lip. Hmm if it doesnt hurt and its just physical then I would go...just because of the short amount of time you been dating. She could write you off because of this 1
Author 4x4storm Posted November 26, 2016 Author Posted November 26, 2016 The event is only a few hours away and I still have no idea what to do . My lip is so swallow I struggled to eat breakfast this morning. I know very well if I say I can't go she will be very disappointed/angry. But on the other hand how do I explain to her parents and friends what's on my lip? as it is very noticeable.
basil67 Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 I've seen a friend with a terrible cold sore. It was a festering wound which spread down to her chin. When I first heard that she wouldn't go out, I thought she was over reacting. Then when I saw her, I completely understood. I think that those who are persuading you to go out have never seen just how bad it can get. I've only seen it once myself, but man, it was horrible. If it really is horrible and you feel horrible because of it, stay in. 1
basil67 Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 The event is only a few hours away and I still have no idea what to do . My lip is so swallow I struggled to eat breakfast this morning. I know very well if I say I can't go she will be very disappointed/angry. But on the other hand how do I explain to her parents and friends what's on my lip? as it is very noticeable. Does she know how much discomfort you're in? Has she seen what it looks like? It's normal for her to be disappointed. But if she knows how you're feeling and is angry at you, that's a black mark next to her name. 1
Sara1989 Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 The event is only a few hours away and I still have no idea what to do . My lip is so swallow I struggled to eat breakfast this morning. I know very well if I say I can't go she will be very disappointed/angry. But on the other hand how do I explain to her parents and friends what's on my lip? as it is very noticeable. Let us know what happens. Problem is most people dont understand how painful cold sores can be, she may think your just making up excuses. If the event is near you then just go, go and she be impressed you made the effort even when you are ill. You can leave early if you have to but let her see you went. I am sure she tell her family/friends you have cold sore. Problem is you only been seeing each other for a month so not going could put her off you for good. Just go.
winny Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 The event is only a few hours away and I still have no idea what to do . My lip is so swallow I struggled to eat breakfast this morning. I know very well if I say I can't go she will be very disappointed/angry. But on the other hand how do I explain to her parents and friends what's on my lip? as it is very noticeable. I understand. I have been getting them from the time I was a kid and I skip office when I get them once a year around this time. I just had them now. Such a relief they are all healed now.... If not treated soon they are ugly and your lip gets swollen so bad and it hurts to open your mouth. (on a separate note, use abreva, apply ice and take lysine tablets - works for me and they are healed super fast, no swelling and it looks just like a little rash, easily covered with some concealer) But yes, my suggestion is still same. Excuse yourself from this event till you feel better. Like someone said above, send a pic of the sores to your GF so she knows how bad you are feeling.
lana-banana Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 Send pictures of sores? What the hell? No thank you. Tell her you're sick but immediately reschedule for another time and, for now, send her lots of pictures, questions and silly gifs to cheer her up. But be very serious about confirming a future date as soon as you can so she knows you aren't blowing her off. And be apologetic! Everyone is different but rubbing alcohol works wonders on my cold sores. They clear up in maybe a day.
Author 4x4storm Posted November 26, 2016 Author Posted November 26, 2016 Well for a quick update I tried cleaning myself up but it was just way to painful to make my lip look any better. So I took the risk and excused myself from the event I can tell right away she is not very happy with me at all and I really feel like I have shot myself in the foot. But on the other hand I just couldn't imagine showing up tonight with how i'm looking.
winny Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 Well for a quick update I tried cleaning myself up but it was just way to painful to make my lip look any better. So I took the risk and excused myself from the event I can tell right away she is not very happy with me at all and I really feel like I have shot myself in the foot. But on the other hand I just couldn't imagine showing up tonight with how i'm looking. It's okay. Relax. Life happens. She also needs to be understanding and it is selfishness to expect you to be there when you are sick. You get to know someone during such life experiences. Ask her out on a date (plan something special and romantic) for after a week or so when you think your sores would clear up and leave the ball in her court.
elaine567 Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 Dancing is a tough thing to do and many dancers go through the pain barrier regularly to perfect their craft. They carry on regardless through injury and excruciating pain. Here you are crying off because of a painful lip due to a cold sore... I can easily see why she is upset. 3
Dis Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 Well for a quick update I tried cleaning myself up but it was just way to painful to make my lip look any better. So I took the risk and excused myself from the event I can tell right away she is not very happy with me at all and I really feel like I have shot myself in the foot. But on the other hand I just couldn't imagine showing up tonight with how i'm looking. It really sounds like your cold sore is pretty severe and you've tried your best to make it so dont beat yourself up Text her and plan a really nice date...as in a set date/time/place etc Get her flowers for the date Make sure to call her or text her after her performance to let her know you're thinking of her and to ask her how it went If I were her...I'd be disappointed too but I'd understand if my bf was sick and couldnt make it
joseb Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 Dancing is a tough thing to do and many dancers go through the pain barrier regularly to perfect their craft. They carry on regardless through injury and excruciating pain. Here you are crying off because of a painful lip due to a cold sore... I can easily see why she is upset. I'm pretty sure the reason the OP isnt going is not because he is in pain, it's because he will look terrible, and probably turn this GF off of him and make her uncomfortable - oh look, here's my new BF complete with massive herpes warts - that sounds like a great idea.
Author 4x4storm Posted November 26, 2016 Author Posted November 26, 2016 It really sounds like your cold sore is pretty severe and you've tried your best to make it so dont beat yourself up Text her and plan a really nice date...as in a set date/time/place etc Get her flowers for the date Make sure to call her or text her after her performance to let her know you're thinking of her and to ask her how it went If I were her...I'd be disappointed too but I'd understand if my bf was sick and couldnt make it That sounds really nice I actually got flowers and chocolates delivered to her door last week and she posted all over social media how she has the best boyfriend and had all her friends saying they can't wait to meet me. So I really do feel like i'm letting her down. I've told her in the past that I will take her out for dinner to somewhere special so i'm definitely gonna set that up. 1
Author 4x4storm Posted November 26, 2016 Author Posted November 26, 2016 I'm pretty sure the reason the OP isnt going is not because he is in pain, it's because he will look terrible, and probably turn this GF off of him and make her uncomfortable - oh look, here's my new BF complete with massive herpes warts - that sounds like a great idea. You pretty much hit the nail on the head.
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