shamit Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 (edited) Hi, My girlfriend and I broke up last week and decided to continue as friends. We were in this relationship for last 1 year or so and we both love each other a lot. But, there are certain situations which are forcing us to part ways. She has different aspirations from her life regarding her career and family. I already have a settled career. She wants to travel and go out to a different country for further studies and feels that it best to break up and move on so that i do not spoil 2-3 years of my life as she is scared of being in a married life. So we decided on break up on good terms. But I felt by talking to each other and thinking about the memories we had, I was making it difficult for her which i could not see. So i told her to break contact completely as we both need to look ahead in life. But i actually want her in my life. She also believes that she might regret her decision after a couple of years. But right now she needs to be free. How should i convince her that this is not the right decision. Would No Contact work to make her realize that we are loosing the best person we have. Edited November 26, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
Marc878 Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 You'd be smart to just let her go. Keeping in contact at this time will just keep you down longer and waste a lot of time. She's young and wants to get out there. You can't control her or stop her from doing what she wants. No contact is the best way. I doubt you'll listen so..... 3
ExpatInItaly Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 You can't make someone feel the way you do. You feel it's a mistake, but she obviously doesn't. It's rather inappropriate to assume you know her mind and heart better than she does. The painful truth is if she felt you the were the best one for her, she would still be with you. 3
BAcK Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 Hi, My girlfriend and I broke up last week and decided to continue as friends. We were in this relationship for last 1 year or so and we both love each other a lot. But, there are certain situations which are forcing us to part ways. She has different aspirations from her life regarding her career and family. I already have a settled career. She wants to travel and go out to a different country for further studies and feels that it best to break up and move on so that i do not spoil 2-3 years of my life as she is scared of being in a married life. So we decided on break up on good terms. But I felt by talking to each other and thinking about the memories we had, I was making it difficult for her which i could not see. So i told her to break contact completely as we both need to look ahead in life. But i actually want her in my life. She also believes that she might regret her decision after a couple of years. But right now she needs to be free. How should i convince her that this is not the right decision. Would No Contact work to make her realize that we are loosing the best person we have. You never break up with someone you love. She is probably not telling you the exact reason for the break up to spare you the pain. NC is not a tool to be used against someone. It is just a wise way to move on. NC will help you get over her. You just let time heal you without expecting to get back with her. A break up is a break up whether it's on good terms or bad terms. And the best you can do is accept things as they are and get on with your life. Maybe in the future, she might want to get back with you. But who knows you might have found someone better suited for you by that time. Let time do its work. 1
fromheart Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 First of all ask yourself why you want to be with someone who has ended it with you. As another poster has said, there's no way she'd break up with you if she felt the same way. Back away if a woman doesn't feel the same way, do not get stuck in the friend zone. NC and walking away to look after yourself can rekindle interest. But once you start looking after yourself you may well realise that you'd much rather meet someone who doesn't walk out on you. 3
Frozensushi Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 But once you start looking after yourself you may well realise that you'd much rather meet someone who doesn't walk out on you. This is very true. I've been there, fighting for someone who isn't fighting for me. It's draining, not only physically but emotionally. Once enough time passed someone came along who wanted to be with me in a big way. After we started dating a while I thought to myself "Oh yeah, I totally forgot how this feels! It's nice to actually have my feelings reciprocated again". It's not easy walking away when you love someone. But, time heals all. Eventually, you will meet someone who loves you as much as you love them. Don't settle for anything less than that. We all deserved to be loved and appreciated.
Satu Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 No contact can be very helpful to people wanting to heal from the pain of a breakup, but as a strategy for making someone want you, its efficacy is doubtful. I wouldn't put too much faith in it, if I were you. Take care. 1
basil67 Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 Have you considered that she may not want to do a long distance relationship? That she'd rather not be tied to skyping and not dating anyone while she's OS? 2
Sweetfish Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 Would No Contact work to make her realize that we are loosing the best person we have. Hmmmm. I think you both should experience new people and new places and maybe you will reconnect in the future 2
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