Falling Apart!

[Jasmine222]

I separated from my partner on Wednesday after 6.5 years together.

He is going through some kind of breakdown/crisis. I've had two previous marriages with physically abusive husbands, but this man is the kindest, most caring person I've ever been with.

 

Up until this year he described our relationship as 'fantastic' and said that I was his world, but we have had an overload of pressures that have caused arguments. His two grown up daughters hate me and made my life hell. My Dad, whom I adored, passed away with Alzheimer's and they were evil to me saying things like 'we're f**king glad your Dad is dead and to my partner whose family, including young brother, all died within 5 years, 'your dead family would hate her as much as we do.' I did everything to get along with them, but they made my life hell. My partner had to work in India for 6 months, during which time the 17 year old and her boyfriend did everything they could to get me out of the house. It ended up with her giving my partner an ultimatum on Facetime, saying 'I want that woman dead and if you don't chuck her out, you'll lose a daughter.' He didn't want me to leave and she moved out. Following this, I hated it if he saw them as I was scared that they would poison him against me.

 

His ex wife left him with the girls when the younger one was 12 and he cared for them. She manipulated him though and every time her boyfriend threw her out, she would go and stay at the marital home again. They agreed an amicable divorce settlement, however, as soon as I moved in she decided she wanted more and there has been the threat of losing half his pension and other assets hanging over him for the past 3 years. She never contributed to anything when they were married and now wants to bleed him dry.

 

So over the past couple of years there has been all this going on, plus me grieving for my Dad, my being involved in a road accident which has left me in constant pain and also my partner, who is an automotive company manager, having major problems to deal with at work with stress that has made him very unwell.

 

He started to pull away early this year and due to my having severe abandonment issues from childhood, I became even more clingy and scared I was losing him. We would row and I would threaten to leave, just to get reassurance, which he didn't give. He told me on an unhappy holiday to Switzerland at the beginning of June, that he was no longer in love with me.

I was devastated! He said that he needed to be able to do things for himself and started going out for long walks, out with work colleagues and various other things. Work pressure became unbearable as his location changed and the 150 miles of driving each day really took their toll.

 

The tenancy on the beautiful house that we were renting was ending this week and with that he decided that he wanted us to go our separate ways. He has rented himself a house close to work, but as I only work part time I cannot afford to rent a property and have been effectively made homeless.

I am now staying temporarily with my son and his partner.

 

In the few days before we parted, we got along better than we had in ages. He admitted that he should have talked things through with me a long time ago and felt that his good relationship with my 3 children had been at the expense of one with his. He says that he has never lived alone and has never had a chance to miss me. He says he needs to be able to have space to figure out what I mean to him and that if we are to get back together, I have to let him figure it out for himself.

 

I have not contacted him so far, which has been hell. He said that he will text me and that we can meet up after Christmas. When we parted he said that it was 'gut wrenching' and that he had never felt that way in his life before.

 

I love this man with every part of me and am in agony. If you have taken the trouble to read this, then thank you and any advice/support would be greatly appreciated.

Edited November 26, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language~T

[Expectmore]

Well first let me just say that without knowing you I still give you the respect and value you deserve.

I am a man in a difficult marriage but have never had any such harsh words used towards me nor have I said such things against others.

People that use words in such a way have a broken piece in their brain that by saying mean things thinks in some way it will make them feel better. Humans by nature feel better after helping some one. Or atleast avoid hurting people.

If you find a person acts this way you must distance yourself quickly.

Remember your own value. As a Woman. A Mother. Remember who you were before it all happened.

There is someone out there that will cherrish your heart and love you above all else.

Stay strong..