ThisisIt606 Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 I'm sure he suspects somethings up as you turned down a date and neither of you has texted since. I was in a very similar situation with a guy not too long ago. Only we dated for nearly 2 months.... I felt very "meh" and not excited to see him. His texts sometimes even annoyed me and I wished he would just leave me alone or back off. He too also seemed quite inexperienced and very eager to be in a relationship with me, asking to be my bf on the 4th date. Point was, he was looking towards the future and I was looking for the exit. I turned down a phone call form him saying I was busy and didn't text him too much that particular day. After work, I texted him asking if I could call him and talk for a bit ( we usually called so it wasn't weird). I was up front and told him I just didn't feel the chemistry between us, he was a great guy but I didn't feel like he was for me and I wasn't interested in seeing eachother anymore. He was definitely hurt, but he did admit he had his doubts about my feelings for him. It was a bit uncomfortable to say but I felt SO relieved after I got off the phone. I felt sad for him as I hurt him, but it was what was best for BOTH of us in the long run. I think, especially after you've been intimate send the guy a quick text or call saying you're not feeling a strong connection/ etc however you want to phrase it. Good luck! 1
winny Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 I think, especially after you've been intimate send the guy a quick text or call saying you're not feeling a strong connection/ etc however you want to phrase it. Good luck! I agree, he deserves a closure.
ElizabethIII Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 I agree, he deserves a closure. Closure comes from within. The fact that he has not bothered to text her after she refused a date says it all. He knows and he isnt going to ask her again. If I had a guy blow me out for a date after we had slept together and I could tell they were luke warm about me. If I then decided not to bother seeing them again and made no effort to contact them.... and then received a text saying I dont feel anything for you and I dont want to see you again.....that would just make me raging angry and upset me even more than I was already. OP you turned down a date with this guy and he has not contacted you again. That says it all. He understands and he knows how you feel and HE isnt going to pursue it any further either. Dont insult him further by sending him a dumping text. Just leave him be. You are not so important to him after 4 dates that he will be devastated by you.
Erik30 Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 Closure comes from within. The fact that he has not bothered to text her after she refused a date says it all. He knows and he isnt going to ask her again. If I had a guy blow me out for a date after we had slept together and I could tell they were luke warm about me. If I then decided not to bother seeing them again and made no effort to contact them.... and then received a text saying I dont feel anything for you and I dont want to see you again.....that would just make me raging angry and upset me even more than I was already. OP you turned down a date with this guy and he has not contacted you again. That says it all. He understands and he knows how you feel and HE isnt going to pursue it any further either. Dont insult him further by sending him a dumping text. Just leave him be. You are not so important to him after 4 dates that he will be devastated by you. I wouldn't assume that he gets it, he's still an inexperienced guy. He might as well be thinking that he should back off for now and let her come to him, in order to increase her interest, not knowing it's already over anyway. He's probably just mad right now that you cancelled a date, but might not realize you don't want to see him anymore at all. Just send a text so he won't waste time thinking about you. 1
Author BoatsBoatsBoats Posted November 27, 2016 Author Posted November 27, 2016 So an update for you guys. I followed my gut and sent him a message telling him sorry for the abrupt silence and that I was just missing that extra spark, that we should go separate ways and I hope I didn't waste his time. He replied that he suspected so after I turned down his date offer and that he had backed off to give me some space and that he still had a lot of fun and didn't consider it to be wasted time. All turned out well 5
winny Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 So an update for you guys. I followed my gut and sent him a message telling him sorry for the abrupt silence and that I was just missing that extra spark, that we should go separate ways and I hope I didn't waste his time. He replied that he suspected so after I turned down his date offer and that he had backed off to give me some space and that he still had a lot of fun and didn't consider it to be wasted time. All turned out well Great, I appreciate this way of handling things. Now you are free of guilt and he is sure where he stands and is free to pursue other women.
DK_Casus Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 Not the popular opinion, I'm sure - but I actually think the nicest way is the most honest way. Certainly the most useful way.
Recommended Posts