I met a guy online who lives 5 hours away and now he wants to visit.

[macd]

Ehm, good idea?

 

It depends on how you would define such a thing.

 

I've done similar things in the past - as in, I've met strange women at their place - or in a summer house - for multiple days. Since I'm not a complete psychopath with a machete for a penis, the experiences have been good.

 

But it's most definitely a risk - and if the crush/chemistry doesn't carry over to RL - you're faced with a potentially dangerous and certainly very awkward situation.

 

 

 

Why dangerous?

[DK_Casus]

Why dangerous?

 

You don't see any potential danger by having a strange man inside your house, especially if you're a woman?

[macd]

You don't see any potential danger by having a strange man inside your house, especially if you're a woman?

 

 

No? He's not a 'strange man'. Lol. Especially if I am a woman? That's kinda sexist, don't you think? As if I wouldn't be able to make responsible decisions or wouldn't know what I want.

[DK_Casus]

No? He's not a 'strange man'. Lol. Especially if I am a woman? That's kinda sexist, don't you think? As if I wouldn't be able to make responsible decisions or wouldn't know what I want.

 

Of course he's strange - you haven't met him. Doesn't mean he's a bad guy - I'm saying he could be. I'm sure you've heard of people who prowl on others using the Internet. It's a real thing. Might not be super common - but it happens.

 

If a man has bad intentions in this context - I give you my personal guarentee that he will feel more secure going up against a woman.

 

Let's say you end up in bed together and you suddenly change your mind. Do you think any responsible decision on your part would make any danger less real if he's not going to take no for an answer?

 

I didn't invent reality.

 

Again, I'm not saying anything bad will happen or is likely to happen - but the risk is real.

[macd]

Ok, regarding the 'be aware of a sexual predator' comments, I appreciate your concern, but I am not worried about this.

I am 29 years old, experienced, and level-headed. I am not a naive little girl. I only know the guy for a month and yet I'd vouch for him in an instant that he's a good guy, I am not worried about that. I like to think I have good judge of character. And as I said before, we do have mutual friends, he is not a complete stranger, and I have talked with my friend who knows him, about him. This is not something I worry about at all.

 

What I worry about is expectations. And I am not talking sex here, it's more, expectations of 'that person'. I am getting really riled up about this guy and I am just scared maybe I am over-selling him to myself, simply because I haven't liked someone like this in over a year. From experience, I'd say that my intuition never fails me. If I feel there is something with someone online, it usually translates into reality. I haven't really been disappointed, unless I wasn't sure about the person to begin with. But yeah, I think it's the part of not having liked someone this much in a really long time, that lets me have a lot of expectations. I don't know if he has many, but he told me he is scared that I may not like him as much in real life, and he just hopes I will.

[DK_Casus]

Ok, regarding the 'be aware of a sexual predator' comments, I appreciate your concern, but I am not worried about this.

I am 29 years old, experienced, and level-headed. I am not a naive little girl. I only know the guy for a month and yet I'd vouch for him in an instant that he's a good guy, I am not worried about that. I like to think I have good judge of character. And as I said before, we do have mutual friends, he is not a complete stranger, and I have talked with my friend who knows him, about him. This is not something I worry about at all.

 

What I worry about is expectations. And I am not talking sex here, it's more, expectations of 'that person'. I am getting really riled up about this guy and I am just scared maybe I am over-selling him to myself, simply because I haven't liked someone like this in over a year. From experience, I'd say that my intuition never fails me. If I feel there is something with someone online, it usually translates into reality. I haven't really been disappointed, unless I wasn't sure about the person to begin with. But yeah, I think it's the part of not having liked someone this much in a really long time, that lets me have a lot of expectations. I don't know if he has many, but he told me he is scared that I may not like him as much in real life, and he just hopes I will.

 

I appreciate your situation.

 

But do you honestly think your emotional investment would change - in any way - based on us telling you to curtail your expectations?

 

If you feel absolutely secure about this guy - and you're never really wrong about this kind of thing - then my advice would be to go for it and don't worry about over-investing.

 

Mostly because such a thing is beyond our control.

 

Also, if it's good - then I think it gets better by believing in it - not worse.

[Sunkissedpatio]

 

What I worry about is expectations. And I am not talking sex here, it's more, expectations of 'that person'. I am getting really riled up about this guy and I am just scared maybe I am over-selling him to myself, simply because I haven't liked someone like this in over a year. From experience, I'd say that my intuition never fails me. If I feel there is something with someone online, it usually translates into reality. I haven't really been disappointed, unless I wasn't sure about the person to begin with. But yeah, I think it's the part of not having liked someone this much in a really long time, that lets me have a lot of expectations. I don't know if he has many, but he told me he is scared that I may not like him as much in real life, and he just hopes I will.

 

Yes you are going overboard with this guy and you have never met him. Earlier in the thread you were comparing him coming to stay with you to having your own parents come and stay with you.

 

You compared letting some stranger come and live with you that you met on Tinder via skype who doesn't say much about himself because he is introverted to letting your parents or friends sleep over at your house?

 

There are all sorts of weird people out there, especially on an app like Tinder. Do you think dangerous guys are going to come on skype and tell you "hey I have a plan, I plan to come to your house and give you an experience that will scar you for life" with neon signs that point down at him saying "rapist"?

No, creepy, dangerous guys are far less obvious than that unfortunately.

 

And no, I don't speak from experience on putting myself in a risky situation like inviting some stranger I met on Tinder to come and live with me for a week. I wouldn't do that, and I am pretty good judge of character, but some decisions are just too risky.

 

In all likelihood he could be fine it's still a bad idea all around. If you like him as a friend only it'll be extremely uncomfortable at best to hang out with him in your own home while he wants more and you want to friendzone him.