Bliss09 Posted November 24, 2016 Posted November 24, 2016 I came to this forum for initial support after my breakup about six months ago. Let me start by saying, you are all amazing and helped me tremendously. For the past four months I've tried to get my life back together, but now I'm back seeking more insight. My girlfriend and I were together for about 2.5 years. Long story short, cheated, kicked me out, and here I am. I'm now 25, and she is 22. This took place in May. I've been doing really well over the past four months after the initial shock wore off. I met an amazing person, who I share many common interests with, and she is an all around amazing girl. However, I still catch myself making comparisons, looking at social media of my ex, and even feeling jealousy at times.i know my ex and I were never meant to last forever, and that is clear to me now. But I guess I'm trying to see if anyone has experienced this odd feeling of not wanting them back, but being unable to move on? I enjoy the company of this new woman immensely. We just click. I'm taking things extremely slow with her as I'm not sure what these feelings are for my ex, and I do not wish to hurt her. I'm hoping it is just me being upset about the rejection, and not me actually not being over her. But asking for additional insight never hurts. Best. 1
Patrice Posted November 25, 2016 Posted November 25, 2016 To meet another amazing person, and keep looking back isn't fair to the new one. Think about why you aren't over the ex. Sounds like you screwed up, and aren't at peace with yourself. Just my thoughts. 2
Frozensushi Posted November 25, 2016 Posted November 25, 2016 However, I still catch myself making comparisons, looking at social media of my ex, and even feeling jealousy at times. I'm hoping it is just me being upset about the rejection, and not me actually not being over her. But asking for additional insight never hurts. Best. You're not over her. Go FULL NC immediately. Block your Ex everywhere. Stop spying and checking up on her. What the hell? Also, this amazing new girl is a rebound. Doesn't mean it won't work out, that's up to you. That means blocking your Ex out of your life indefinitely. Good luck! 1
Satu Posted November 25, 2016 Posted November 25, 2016 From my journals: "Never begin a new relationship until you've fully moved on from the one before. Also never begin a new relationship with someone who hasn't fully moved on from their one before. By 'moved on,' I mean any necessary grieving done, not preoccupied with the ex, enjoying life, feeling good about yourself, and optimistic about the future. The best way to move on is to decide to be single for a while; not dating, not hooking up, no fwb. Some short term counselling if that appeals to you. 'Get back on the horse' is sound advice, but its best to let the cuts and bruises heal before you do." Its up to you what you do, but you would be wise to think very deeply about the choices you make. As regards your ex: *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete her from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. Don't hurt the new girl. Don't misbehave like you did with your ex. Take care. 2
Shanex Posted November 25, 2016 Posted November 25, 2016 Why going for No Contact? it’s like breaking an addiction to your ex. You have to learn to live without him or her. And no contact is the best way to do it. But you might be wondering why should you learn to live without them if you want to get back with them. It’s because unless you learn to live without them you will always be needy and desperate whenever you see them or talk to them and that will make you look unattractive to your ex. Nobody wants to be with a needy and desperate person and if you want to get your ex back, you will have to become a happy and confident person. All the best.
Sunkissedpatio Posted November 25, 2016 Posted November 25, 2016 Did you cheat or she cheated? I wonder if the new girl is so amazing what could you possibly be comparing back?
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