Brian03 Posted November 24, 2016 Posted November 24, 2016 OK, I hope that my story doesn't sound too strange, but it would be nice to get someone elses opinion. I was seeing a girl and yes it was early days. We had been on about 7 dates. She had told me that she had enjoyed some of them. We never had an argument. Everything seemed to be going well. I had asked her to attend an event with me then she got sick (nothing serious) and went quiet. I told her it was fine she got sick and get better soon. The next day I told her that I had missed her at the event and I had bought her something, via text. I tried to check how she was doing a few days later, but got no response. I then tried ringing and actually did get a text response. A few days later . The weekend arose and I thought I would check if she was up to seeing a movie, that she had wanted to see with me (she had mentioned the movie she wanted to see) and also said that if the wasn't up to it, I would wait until she is better. 30 minutes later she texts me, saying she doesn't want to see me anymore and we don't have a lot in common. We seemed to have very similar interests and thought the same way about a lot of things and this come as a complete surprise. I then replied thank you for your time and I thought she was wonderful and we had a lot in common. I haven't contacted her since, it has been 6 days since I said that. 2 days ago, I get a missed call from her, with a text "Sorry I pocket dialed you" The text was 1 minute later. I have chosen to ignore it. I think I left it too late to have a serious talk with her about where we were heading and I don't think I will ever get the chance. I am guessing the main reason that she dumped me is because I was coming off as clingy. Not sure what to do next. Should I keep following the no-contact rule and did I respond the right way when she dumped me? Should I try to arrange a meeting and say everything I wanted to say to her? I am really confused at the moment. 1
Satu Posted November 24, 2016 Posted November 24, 2016 snip I think I left it too late to have a serious talk with her about where we were heading and I don't think I will ever get the chance. I am guessing the main reason that she dumped me is because I was coming off as clingy. Not sure what to do next. Should I keep following the no-contact rule and did I respond the right way when she dumped me? Should I try to arrange a meeting and say everything I wanted to say to her? I am really confused at the moment. Welcome to Loveshack. I don't think there's any point trying to arrange that talk, but you could if you really want to. I don't think a "What did I do wrong" talk would be good for you though, and it's not all about you and your failings anyway. What happens between adults is 50-50. There is no such thing as a "no contact rule," but many people find no contact useful as a "container" to heal in. The way you responded to her was ok; gracious actually. Here's my take on no contact, should you choose to go down that road: *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete her from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. You could try journalling; just writing about the experience, and the thoughts and feelings it brought up. It can be very beneficial. Keep posting. Take care. 1
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