Mixed Signals: What do you think?

November 25, 2016

Should I even bother to try and set up another date/meet up? Was thinking of waiting til tomorrowcand then seeing if she's free on Sunday to do something. Too needy right? Should probably just move on? Technically this is the only the first flake but wouldn't you say the behavior shown is pretty low interest?

She's not that into you. Move on

November 25, 2016

Should I even bother to try and set up another date/meet up? Was thinking of waiting til tomorrowcand then seeing if she's free on Sunday to do something. Too needy right? Should probably just move on? Technically this is the only the first flake but wouldn't you say the behavior shown is pretty low interest?

Nope... didn't believe me huh?

Your mysterious self is not mysterious anymore from the constant asking.. you set a date... that's all you need to do. No confirmation B.S.

The sister thing doesn't mean a thing. She let you go easy. A smoke screen. Do not text her any further.. have a good time on sunday... go go-kart racing or hang out with friends and post them on your social media... if she responds to you... just hint your going to XXX place at XXX time.. she is welcome to come if she wants to make it up to you.... that's all you can do.

I highly doubt you'll do that... but that's your only option.

November 25, 2016

Nope... didn't believe me huh?
Your mysterious self is not mysterious anymore from the constant asking.. you set a date... that's all you need to do. No confirmation B.S.

The sister thing doesn't mean a thing. She let you go easy. A smoke screen. Do not text her any further.. have a good time on sunday... go go-kart racing or hang out with friends and post them on your social media... if she responds to you... just hint your going to XXX place at XXX time.. she is welcome to come if she wants to make it up to you.... that's all you can do.

I highly doubt you'll do that... but that's your only option.

Well if she contacts me again I could do that, but I don't think she will. I kind of knew in the back of my mind she was going to be like this and bail..I've gotten much better at reading the signs early on. It's usually very easy to tell. Just wishful thinking on my part because I was really attracted and wanted to hope for the best. I got too invested into just her and I learned from my mistake.

November 25, 2016

Nope... didn't believe me huh?
Your mysterious self is not mysterious anymore from the constant asking.. you set a date... that's all you need to do. No confirmation B.S.

The sister thing doesn't mean a thing. She let you go easy. A smoke screen. Do not text her any further.. have a good time on sunday... go go-kart racing or hang out with friends and post them on your social media... if she responds to you... just hint your going to XXX place at XXX time.. she is welcome to come if she wants to make it up to you.... that's all you can do.

I highly doubt you'll do that... but that's your only option.

He could have been the most mysterious man in the world.

She was never really into him to begin with by always responding to his text several hours later.

Move onto the next girl

November 25, 2016

He could have been the most mysterious man in the world.

She was never really into him to begin with by always responding to his text several hours later.

Move onto the next girl

Love, relationships. Boyfriend and girlfriend. When does not responding to a text always equals to the end. Love is messy and unpredictable. When it comes to the holidays it's very hard to get constant attention from someone else specially if family and friends are around. The holidays is actually the worse time to date someone new...

You are just some new guy... you are suppose to be priority over family and friends between thanksgiving and christmas? lol

Yes.. you are investing too much.

November 25, 2016

UPDATE:
She just responded saying "hey yeah I am enjoying my week, thanks sorry I took so long to reply it's been a couple crazy days! Happy thanksgiving!"

So i guess I'll try and confirm our date now.

NO, I wouldn't! she isn't interested.

"Sorry I've been crazy busy" but has time to post stuff on Instagram etc.?

November 25, 2016

NO, I wouldn't! she isn't interested.

"Sorry I've been crazy busy" but has time to post stuff on Instagram etc.?

If the phone is in her hand to use Instagram then she could of easily responded.

She chose not to.

November 25, 2016

Ok now she she's says "actually my sister and her friends want to go to the bar" (the one we planned to meet at) and now she invited me to come by. ??? Really bizarre. Is this like a test to see if I'll actually go? Or a friend zone move? Never encountered this before

Edited November 25, 2016 by Grey40

November 26, 2016

So I tell her that I picked up a gig (I'm a musician) but it's over at 10 if you guys are still out I'll drop by"

She says, "oh nice ok! Let me know when you're done, maybe we'll still be out"

I call her at 10 when I'm done, no answer. Wait 15 minutes sent a text, no answer. Called again at 1140ish, nothing. What in the **** sick game is this?

November 26, 2016

I'm sorry Grey it sounds like you are an option until something else comes along. This chick sounds a bit bonkers. She says yes to going out the "is too busy" and like Phineas said if phone is in hand for Instagram she can send you a text.

So tonight she said "ya come meet me" thinking sure I'll hang out with him if the bar is boring but she is out having a good time with her friends and decides, nah I don't want to deal with him crashing my night.

It's like I said to one of my girlfriend's tonight who was waiting to hear back from a guy she was supposed to go out with and pulled an MIA on her all day, there is a one in a billion chance that he didn't get your texts because he lost his phone or left it in an Uber/store/lost it. Assume he got your texts and knows exactly what he is doing and why he is avoiding to send a response.

November 26, 2016

I'm sorry Grey it sounds like you are an option until something else comes along. This chick sounds a bit bonkers. She says yes to going out the "is too busy" and like Phineas said if phone is in hand for Instagram she can send you a text.

So tonight she said "ya come meet me" thinking sure I'll hang out with him if the bar is boring but she is out having a good time with her friends and decides, nah I don't want to deal with him crashing my night.

It's like I said to one of my girlfriend's tonight who was waiting to hear back from a guy she was supposed to go out with and pulled an MIA on her all day, there is a one in a billion chance that he didn't get your texts because he lost his phone or left it in an Uber/store/lost it. Assume he got your texts and knows exactly what he is doing and why he is avoiding to send a response.

Thanks for the reply. Yeah it's a bit odd. I feel like if I just went when she invited me initially it could have worked out fine. Because I booked something else like an idiot I missed my opportunity. She's clearly very bad with her phone, usually takes forever to answer. She finally responded tonight with "just saw your text, I'm still out. But I'm at xxxxx now."

I mean to me it seems like she's interested to some degree. She initially bailed, but invited me out and when I told her i booked a gig she got kind of upset and asked if it was close by and if I could come after. So I said yes and then she was awful with her phone again, strange. If she wanted me to come she would have replied back and told me where she was right? I mean that's logical but girls aren't logical.

I'm going to not talk to her for a while, maybe wait to text her on Monday or tuesday and then see if she wants to go out again next weekend. If it's still an excuse or something then I'll know for sure

November 26, 2016

Actually we girls are very logical and very flighty when we choose to be.

The point being, don't kick yourself because you didn't twist yourself into a knot to accommodate her. She changed your plans to go out with her friends and you went ahead and booked a gig. She got busy, you got busy too.

Looks like even if you did say you'd meet her and went she sounds like she might just leave and go elsewhere or worse yet politely ignore you while she parties with her friends and other guys

Ya it would have been great to hang out with her and it sounds like you really like her but when a girl, or a guy, is really into someone they will be watching their phone like a hawk to make sure they don't miss that defining text when it pops up.

It's the nature of human interest and it's genderless.

How do you behave when you are waiting for an important tex, email or phone call? Girls are EXACTLY the same, if not more obsessive about it.

Yes, best thing you can do is go silent for a while and if you are bored enough you can go ahead and play this game of "now you see me" again when she reaches out...or not.

November 26, 2016

Actually we girls are very logical and very flighty when we choose to be.

The point being, don't kick yourself because you didn't twist yourself into a knot to accommodate her. She changed your plans to go out with her friends and you went ahead and booked a gig. She got busy, you got busy too.

Looks like even if you did say you'd meet her and went she sounds like she might just leave and go elsewhere or worse yet politely ignore you while she parties with her friends and other guys

Ya it would have been great to hang out with her and it sounds like you really like her but when a girl, or a guy, is really into someone they will be watching their phone like a hawk to make sure they don't miss that defining text when it pops up.

It's the nature of human interest and it's genderless.

How do you behave when you are waiting for an important tex, email or phone call? Girls are EXACTLY the same, if not more obsessive about it.

Yes, best thing you can do is go silent for a while and if you are bored enough you can go ahead and play this game of "now you see me" again when she reaches out...or not.

Thanks again. So you're basically saying she has very little to no interest and maybe just felt bad she canceled so politely invited me out? I always wondered if girls acted similar when responding to texts from guys they like. Makes sense they would checking it like a hawk and clearly she wasn't. No Idea what her deal is, probably just like the idea of guys chasing her. Yeah I'm going silent to see if she ever reaches back out, and you know what? She probably won't.

November 26, 2016

Thanks again. So you're basically saying she has very little to no interest and maybe just felt bad she canceled so politely invited me out? I always wondered if girls acted similar when responding to texts from guys they like. Makes sense they would checking it like a hawk and clearly she wasn't. No Idea what her deal is, probably just like the idea of guys chasing her. Yeah I'm going silent to see if she ever reaches back out, and you know what? She probably won't.

@ grey40

The medium is the message

https://therationalmale.com/2011/09/06/the-medium-is-the-message/

November 26, 2016

So I tell her that I picked up a gig (I'm a musician) but it's over at 10 if you guys are still out I'll drop by"

She says, "oh nice ok! Let me know when you're done, maybe we'll still be out"

I call her at 10 when I'm done, no answer. Wait 15 minutes sent a text, no answer. Called again at 1140ish, nothing. What in the **** sick game is this?

LIke i said she is with her friends and family..

Your simply some guy she just met... no serious attraction has been built, but she had interest. If she didn't have interest she wouldn't even have text you or she would write you off completely or wouldnt have invited you to the bar.

It's not a sick game... if you would have went at the point of time she asked you and not had a gig you would have hanged out... but not showing up and being at a bar with other ladies... guarantee some other guys made it to the punch..

That's how it goes man... STOP TEXTING AND CALLING

November 26, 2016

So I tell her that I picked up a gig (I'm a musician) but it's over at 10 if you guys are still out I'll drop by"

She says, "oh nice ok! Let me know when you're done, maybe we'll still be out"

I call her at 10 when I'm done, no answer. Wait 15 minutes sent a text, no answer. Called again at 1140ish, nothing. What in the **** sick game is this?

I would have told her, "sorry I have plans tonight."

I don't know what kind of gig you picked up, but being hung up on this girl you limited yourself to other potential women for the night. Talk to other women and stop limiting yourself to this one. You haven't even met this girl.

November 26, 2016

I would have told her, "sorry I have plans tonight."

I don't know what kind of gig you picked up, but being hung up on this girl you limited yourself to other potential women for the night. Talk to other women and stop limiting yourself to this one. You haven't even met this girl.

Plus he sounds desperate.

So much effort to meet with a chick who gives him zero effort in return.

At this point she is probably hoping he will get the hint and just go away.

At this point I wish he would for his sake because this isn't going anywhere.

November 26, 2016

Plus he sounds desperate.

And thirsty. So dang thirsty his spit is dripping on the other girls phone

November 26, 2016

Plus he sounds desperate.
So much effort to meet with a chick who gives him zero effort in return.

At this point she is probably hoping he will get the hint and just go away.
At this point I wish he would for his sake because this isn't going anywhere.

To be fair, she hasn't put in 0 effort. She did initially agree to plans, and then invited me out later. She was busy prior to that and wasn't able to meet up. So it would unfair to say she's put in no effort.

I made some big mistakes last night. I should have just said I'm busy Hey we'll meet some other time, but instead tried to make it work..calling twice and leaving a text was definitely desperate of me. She said she couldn't hang out Saturday because of freindsgivimg and Sunday because she has clinicals again so I thought "damnit this is my only chance or I have to wait another week, I have nothing to lose."

But I disagree it's not going to go anywhere. Like you said, the fact she's replying to texts and even bothered to invite me says something. She could have easily just canceled and then went on with the night without bothering me.

The only problem is that she could have easily lost interest now because of those desperate moves on my part.

She did text me back last night, and said she just saw my message and was still out to which I didn't reply. I was thinking of texting her today saying "it's all good, fell asleep anyway maybe we can set something up for next week" but because of the desperate moves on my part last night, prpbbaltvwould be better to just go silent, reconnect next week and hope she's still an option.

Edited November 26, 2016 by Grey40

November 26, 2016

You come off as clingy and desperate. Sorry, you do. I would address this.. I would respond to this msg later today. You cant just suddenly stop being a aggressive text person than just stop cold blooded and hope a week later to reconnect.

Just make a light hearted joke... about last night. This tell her your not mad. Then come back her if she responds positive

November 26, 2016

You come off as clingy and desperate. Sorry, you do. I would address this.. I would respond to this msg later today. You cant just suddenly stop being a aggressive text person than just stop cold blooded and hope a week later to reconnect.

Just make a light hearted joke... about last night. This tell her your not mad. Then come back her if she responds positive

Thanks yeah I'm definitely goIng to do that, that was my initial plan. Though I haven't really been that aggressive. The way I'm describing the situation on here makes me sound much more desperate than the interactions have been imo. I'm not sending the same vibe when I text her. Literally the only thing clingy I've done in her mind is bother her last night. (And she invited me). You guys make it sound like I've been texting her nonstop or something. I met her like 2 weeks ago and have sent maybe like 12-13 texts total, most of those being scattered every 2-3 days and they've only been to ask her out or stay in touch.

November 26, 2016

Thanks yeah I'm definitely goIng to do that, that was my initial plan. Though I haven't really been that aggressive. The way I'm describing the situation on here makes me sound much more desperate than the interactions have been imo. I'm not sending the same vibe when I text her. Literally the only thing clingy I've done in her mind is bother her last night. (And she invited me). You guys make it sound like I've been texting her nonstop or something. I met her like 2 weeks ago and have sent maybe like 12-13 texts total, most of those being scattered every 2-3 days and they've only been to ask her out or stay in touch.

FWIW I think people are overreacting.

Yes, the texting and calling yesterday was definitly too much but people make it sound like you stood outside her window at night with a huge boombox proclaiming your love to her, lol.

If she's interested one or two texts too many won't be a dealbreaker. If it is that much of a dealbreaker her interest was very low to begin with. You can send her a short reply but after that I would probably let her reach out to you if she wants to make new plans but not expect it to happen and move on to other things in the meantime.

November 26, 2016

Eeeeesh. A lot of harsh comments towards the OP from other guys. I guess that is how guys bond...

How does Grey coming here and is expressing his "insecurities" here translate into him becoming a clinger who doesn't take no for an answer?

And I don't agree that this woman is doing 0 in return, she is way worse than the woman who does 0 in return, she is actually giving him just enough interest to keep him hooked and wondering. She is giving him 30% which is why he is so confused and overanalysing.

She's interested but not enough to forsake all other distractions at this point. So go quiet and take your time responding when she reaches out. She will reach out again.

And the number of texts you sent her doesn't matter. If you sent her 100 texts about nothing over the course of the week speaks less to your desperation than if you sent her two texts asking her "where are you, why aren't you responding? do you still want to see me>" over one day. Not that you did that but comparing content vs quantity.

The article posted by filani was great. Read it.

November 26, 2016

Eeeeesh. A lot of harsh comments towards the OP from other guys. I guess that is how guys bond...

How does Grey coming here and is expressing his "insecurities" here translate into him becoming a clinger who doesn't take no for an answer?

And I don't agree that this woman is doing 0 in return, she is way worse than the woman who does 0 in return, she is actually giving him just enough interest to keep him hooked and wondering. She is giving him 30% which is why he is so confused and overanalysing.

She's interested but not enough to forsake all other distractions at this point. So go quiet and take your time responding when she reaches out. She will reach out again.

And the number of texts you sent her doesn't matter. If you sent her 100 texts about nothing over the course of the week speaks less to your desperation than if you sent her two texts asking her "where are you, why aren't you responding? do you still want to see me>" over one day. Not that you did that but comparing content vs quantity.

The article posted by filani was great. Read it.

Thanks, and that's just how us guys are, we're easy to just take the negative route from the start. And there's good reason for that, because what these other guys are saying has some validity to it. There's def a good chance she's just an attention seeking type who's just super nice and polite and can't say no to people. However, the reason I'm posting and sounding desperate on here, is so that I DONT do that to her. And you hit it spot on, if she never responded or went totally cold and silent I wouldn't be overanalyzing so much. I am obviously attracted to her, and if there's any interest there, I'm not going to let it get away simply because "im better than her" mentality.

I sent her a text about an hour ago, I said,

"Hey sorry we couldn't work things out last night, def would like to hang out soon, maybe we can set something up for next week. Enjoy your weekend."

I did my part, so now we'll see what happens. I didn't want to leave her totally in the dust, she needs to know I'm not pissed or phased about what she did last night. In a way, it might be a good thing that I act that way, shows that stuff doesn't get to me. Most guys would probably get mad and send some nasty message about why she invited me out but didn't respond yada yada.).

But at this point, I'm not going to reach out again. She'll have to respond to that message and then if she does, I'll wait until Tuesday or Wednesday and then reach out to set another date up. If she doesn't respond, then it'll be pretty clear she's been turned off.

Save

Edited December 3, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language~T

November 28, 2016

Well she hasn't responded to the text from yesterday so safe to say it's prObably done. Pretty amazing that just because I tried to see her that night she like lost all interest even though she invited me out and told me to tell her when I was done, then totally blow me off and now just going silent. Jeez. I'm over it by the way, but would be interested if any women here could explain what I did wrong in this scenario to prevent me from doing so in the future.

Could it really be because I seemed Too desperate when she invited me out by calling her twice? Or perhaps she was never that interested and just wanted to string me along for fun? Any other guys experience this scenario? Or could it be that she thought I lied about the "picking up a gig" and thought "he meets me when I want or **** him". ?

I asked my sister her thoughts she was puzzled by the entire situation. Doesn't understand why she'd cancel plans and then hour later tell me to "come by" and then when I make an effort to do so just blocks me out. She couldn't explain it other than "a really horrible job of playing hard to get"

Edited November 28, 2016 by Grey40

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