joel Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 what is a player, what does he do and act and what does he say? i mean one be more of a player? isn;t a player a guy who dates multiple women. same for a tease a flirt you mean being freindly and talktive and askin em about their weekend and smiling at em with a gal means ur not a playa i do this with a lot of gals-i could be called a flirt.
RecordProducer Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 No, when we say a player we refer to dishonesty. It's a pejorative term. Multiple dates, taking advantage of women, manipulating, lying, cheating, etc. would make a guy a player. Not flirting and smiling. If you're single you have a right to flirt with whomever you want. Unless you consider yourself single and there is somebody who believes the two of you are in a relationship.
millefiori Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 With respect, but a player is someone who does get women. He attracts them and they fall for him which allows him to play with them. This is not your problem. As far as now, I can tell that you have failed to understand women and you haven't even managed to get a date, so do not consider yourself a player. Your problem will be how to avoid getting used by a player.
alphamale Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 if u want to see a playa, just look in da mirror, joel
SoleMate Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 A "player" is someone who "plays" people. Like RP said. It has to do with manipulation and deception. It's not something that I would ever use in a good way. A man who is well-liked by women, flirtatious, charming, etc., and also honest and fair should be called by a different term, not "player".
alphamale Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by SoleMate A man who is well-liked by women, flirtatious, charming, etc., and also honest and fair should be called by a different term, not "player". I disagree SOLEMATE....the only way a playa can be a playa is if he is well-liked by women, flirtatious, charming and honest. If he does not have these qualites, he cannot "play"....
millefiori Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale I disagree SOLEMATE....the only way a playa can be a playa is if he is well-liked by women, flirtatious, charming and honest. If he does not have these qualites, he cannot "play".... If he's honest, he's not a player.
alphamale Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by millefiori If he's honest, he's not a player. you are totally incorrect MILLEFIORI....the best playas are totally honest with women. usually these are men who are in high demand. they may be very attractive or have lots of money or both. and since they are in high demand with opposite sex they very rarely have to lie. my brother is a playa. he is 36, single, a physician, very good loooking. he has new woman every month. and he never lies to them about anything.
EC Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 you are totally incorrect MILLEFIORI....the best playas are totally honest with women. usually these are men who are in high demand. they may be very attractive or have lots of money or both. and since they are in high demand with opposite sex they very rarely have to lie. my brother is a playa. he is 36, single, a physician, very good loooking. he has new woman every month. and he never lies to them about anything. I agree with you Alpha. The best playas are loved by women. They don't lie. The women know they have other women which adds to the desperateness in trying to 'hold him down' . I knew a woman who was a playa. She was beautiful, smart, funny, great job, nice car. She didn't need a man, but she had a new one all the time. And she never lied to them. She even gave them their own days. One had monday, the other had tuesday and so on. And they knew not to come around when it wasn't their day. lol Shes all married now though.
soccorsilly Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 In your recent post.... who are in high demand. they may be very attractive or have lots of money or both you forgot another "quality" THE LARGE PENIS! My best friend lived in CA for a while and he was always amazed at the horrible looking guys with the most beautiful women---his theory-- the guys either have drugs, a porsche, or a schlong to their knees
millefiori Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale you are totally incorrect MILLEFIORI....the best playas are totally honest with women. usually these are men who are in high demand. they may be very attractive or have lots of money or both. and since they are in high demand with opposite sex they very rarely have to lie. my brother is a playa. he is 36, single, a physician, very good loooking. he has new woman every month. and he never lies to them about anything. If he was truly honest and told them he was seeing other women as well and was not really interested in a relationship with them, do you think they would still fall for him? I'm not going to say that I go for ugly men, not at all, but I often find very attractive men to be either very insecure or players and these are qualities I do not want in a partner. You can be as attractive as you want, if you tell me that you also see other women, you're out of the game. In respect to money, see, you can not buy everything with money.
scratch Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by millefiori If he was truly honest and told them he was seeing other women as well and was not really interested in a relationship with them, do you think they would still fall for him? Unequivocally so. Most people can't turn interest on and off based on a fact like a man is currently playing the field, especially if he is open about it. It shows her that he is honest, in demand, and not particularly worried if she'll like him or not. Those can be pretty alluring qualities.
alphamale Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by millefiori If he was truly honest and told them he was seeing other women as well and was not really interested in a relationship with them, do you think they would still fall for him? Sure....they can and they do. There are not a lot of good looking, young, and single eye surgeons around. A low supply means high demand. In respect to money, see, you can not buy everything with money. What money cannot buy, it can rent...
Opium Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 If he was truly honest and told them he was seeing other women as well and was not really interested in a relationship with them, do you think they would still fall for him? We all want what we can't have so the answer to your question is any woman who's vulnerable enough will still fall for him. If the woman has any self respect for herself, trust your statement would be true but some woman now-a-days, who knows??
millefiori Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by scratch Unequivocally so. Most people can't turn interest on and off based on a fact like a man is currently playing the field, especially if he is open about it. It shows her that he is honest, in demand, and not particularly worried if she'll like him or not. Those can be pretty alluring qualities. As I said, attractiveness and money are not that high on my priority list, thus I'm not going to judge him on these qualities. I use other criteria and one of them is that I do expect a certain level of trustworthiness and kindness, if he is not able to provide me with this I'm pretty sure I get turned off really quick. I did fall for men in the past based on their looks and there were tears, but hey we all learn and become smarter. I consider myself pretty good in weeding out the ones that I don't want or who are not good for me. You know what they say, it's women who choose, not men.
millefiori Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Sure....they can and they do. There are not a lot of good looking, young, and single eye surgeons around. A low supply means high demand. Tell me, what kind of women are you talking about?
greenhorn Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by millefiori it's women who choose, not men. How true !!! and they keep on choosing .........
scratch Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by millefiori As I said, attractiveness and money are not that high on my priority list, thus I'm not going to judge him on these qualities. Where in the world did I say anything about looks (which is what you mean when you refer to attractiveness) or money? I hope your point isn't that those are the only things that can make a man generally "in demand." Originally posted by millefiori I use other criteria and one of them is that I do expect a certain level of trustworthiness and kindness, if he is not able to provide me with this I'm pretty sure I get turned off really quick. Trustworthiness? Check. Ask him a question, you'll get the truth. Kindness? Tougher, although there is an element of kindness in not leading a person on. I'm suprised that you didn't list confidence as a criteria, which can be embodied by telling a woman "if you don't want what I'm offering, I'm okay with that." And you'll have to tell us more about this magical ability to turn your interest on and off. Just about everyone posting here would like to learn that power from you.
alphamale Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by millefiori Tell me, what kind of women are you talking about? usually attractive and highly educated women in their late 20s to early 30s. lawyers, bankers, etc....you know, the "A-list" women that 98% of men cannot even get.
Opium Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale usually attractive and highly educated women in their late 20s to early 30s. lawyers, bankers, etc....you know, the "A-list" women that 98% of men cannot even get. Check, check, check...That's me!!!
millefiori Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by scratch Where in the world did I say anything about looks (which is what you mean when you refer to attractiveness) or money? I hope your point isn't that those are the only things that can make a man generally "in demand." I was using Alpha's definition of a player, which included attractiveness (or looks) and money. I think men that are commonly considered to be high in demand are usually showing these qualities. Trustworthiness? Check. Ask him a question, you'll get the truth. Kindness? Tougher, although there is an element of kindness in not leading a person on. I'm suprised that you didn't list confidence as a criteria, which can be embodied by telling a woman "if you don't want what I'm offering, I'm okay with that." I know how to check these qualities. And yes, confidence would be nice, too. And you'll have to tell us more about this magical ability to turn your interest on and off. Just about everyone posting here would like to learn that power from you. You need a big big ego. Shouldn't be so hard for you.
scratch Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by millefiori You need a big big ego. Shouldn't be so hard for you. The ego part, I can handle (obviously). The hard part is controlling the feelings. On topic, open guys may well get less sex than serial monogamists or liars, but men still have to be able to look themselves in the mirror. There is something incredibly empowering about being amoral, but just like romantic feelings, when you have morals, you can't really do much about it. Per your edit - I believe you do know how to check. Do you disagree with me that the open guy who admits he's not looking for a serious relationship with you posesses these qualities? Why or why not?
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