Mr.Adrift Posted November 24, 2016 Posted November 24, 2016 Three months ago my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't have a job. We fought and I let my anger get in the way of trying to fix it at the time. After a month of NC I tried calling her and had a break down and she ended up blocking my number, she previously blocked me on all social media. Two months went by and I couldn't get her off my mind so I emailed her and she replied, it was nice to hear from her, but she said that she's glad things are looking up for me and that she did what she thought was best, but she's still healing and doesn't think its healthy that we talk and that she wouldn't reply to any emails where i am being " irrational" , but i could email her if it was urgent. All I want to do now is talk to her and try and tell her that I love her and that I could treat her so much better than I could then in hopes of her taking me back because that's all i want. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, would it be bad if i emailed her to tell her happy thanksgiving?
Sweetfish Posted November 24, 2016 Posted November 24, 2016 Your gf did not breakup with you because you didn't have a job. She broke up with you because there is someone else. Your begging doesn't work. Telling her you will change doesn't work... Imagine you had a car that broke down all the time and you had an important interview and it broke down on the day of the job interview.. wouldn't you feel indifferent.. wouldn't you feel the car broke down on you at a very important moment and you wouldn't be bother fixing the car again... Think about how relationships are... once you get a new car... the old car can be a great car.. but the new car brings comfort and fulfills your needs. You may miss the old car.. but you may not want to go back to old. You best be is to stay nc 1
darkbloom Posted November 24, 2016 Posted November 24, 2016 For the last time, holidays are not an excuse or break NC. 3
Nadine123 Posted November 24, 2016 Posted November 24, 2016 Lol, Im one of these people that just wanted to take it as an excuse. Why didnt she stand by you when you didnt have a job instead of breaking up with you? Happy thanksgiving by the way
fromheart Posted November 24, 2016 Posted November 24, 2016 Three months ago my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't have a job. We fought and I let my anger get in the way of trying to fix it at the time. After a month of NC I tried calling her and had a break down and she ended up blocking my number, she previously blocked me on all social media. Two months went by and I couldn't get her off my mind so I emailed her and she replied, it was nice to hear from her, but she said that she's glad things are looking up for me and that she did what she thought was best, but she's still healing and doesn't think its healthy that we talk and that she wouldn't reply to any emails where i am being " irrational" , but i could email her if it was urgent. All I want to do now is talk to her and try and tell her that I love her and that I could treat her so much better than I could then in hopes of her taking me back because that's all i want. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, would it be bad if i emailed her to tell her happy thanksgiving? You need to look after yourself. Start making moves to get the career you want for yourself. Be stable within yourself first, then pursue a relationship with a woman. It doesn't work out with partners sometimes. Never, ever beg or chase, this lacks self respect. Put yourself first and walk away from this situation. Take your power back by going NC, and working on yourself.
NopeNah Posted November 24, 2016 Posted November 24, 2016 She clearly stated you could contact her if it was URGENT. T-day is not urgent. You'll come across as stalker'ish. How long were you two dating and how long have you been unemployed?
Author Mr.Adrift Posted November 25, 2016 Author Posted November 25, 2016 Thanks Everyone for all that you have said, it brings a little comfort to know people take the time to reply. @Praying4Daylight we dated for almost 2 years and I'm attending school and getting help from family so I have always been unemployed. @Nadine123 Idk why she didn't stand by my side, i guess she got tired of waiting for so long.
Fair Posted November 25, 2016 Posted November 25, 2016 Leave it be. You'll be disrespecting her if you keep ignoring her wishes. It'll make her hate you, eventually.
LargoLagg Posted November 25, 2016 Posted November 25, 2016 (edited) OP, not having a job when you're in college is a thin excuse. In most breakups, people simply don't say the one thing that is the actual reason for the breakup. Instead, they either mention the things that started to bug them, or they mention the differences that they like in the new person. These excuses, like "you don't have a job" or "you don't pay enough attention to me" or "we fight too much" or whatever are not the real reasons people break up. These are merely the symptoms of the underlying problem. The real reason people break up is because they don't love you anymore. It's almost always that simple. Here's the good news. This is almost always never a rejection of you. Nobody controls who they love and who they don't. They either do or they don't and people have no say in it. They either feel it or they don't. Take yourself as exhibit #1. You love your girlfriend. If you could just turn it off, you would so that you wouldn't feel bad. Then you'd go get yourself another nice young hottie, and turn it on and ask her to turn it on. But you can't do that. Neither can she. It's got nothing to do with you. When people no longer love their lovers and they are not married, there's really no choice but to leave, because there's no point in sticking around. It's not you. It's her, and there's nothing she can do about it, even if she was motivated for some reason. Edited November 25, 2016 by LargoLagg
NopeNah Posted November 25, 2016 Posted November 25, 2016 OP, not having a job when you're in college is a thin excuse. In most breakups, people simply don't say the one thing that is the actual reason for the breakup. Instead, they either mention the things that started to bug them, or they mention the differences that they like in the new person. These excuses, like "you don't have a job" or "you don't pay enough attention to me" or "we fight too much" or whatever are not the real reasons people break up. These are merely the symptoms of the underlying problem. The real reason people break up is because they don't love you anymore. It's almost always that simple. Here's the good news. This is almost always never a rejection of you. Nobody controls who they love and who they don't. They either do or they don't and people have no say in it. They either feel it or they don't. Take yourself as exhibit #1. You love your girlfriend. If you could just turn it off, you would so that you wouldn't feel bad. Then you'd go get yourself another nice young hottie, and turn it on and ask her to turn it on. But you can't do that. Neither can she. It's got nothing to do with you. When people no longer love their lovers and they are not married, there's really no choice but to leave, because there's no point in sticking around. It's not you. It's her, and there's nothing she can do about it, even if she was motivated for some reason. I disagree.. Those reasons you listed for breaking up are valid reasons to end it with someone. Op is a bit different, being a full time student, on the job thing but, if he wasn't in school and not working, it'd be a valid reason for her to end it.
Sweetfish Posted November 25, 2016 Posted November 25, 2016 I disagree.. Those reasons you listed for breaking up are valid reasons to end it with someone. Op is a bit different, being a full time student, on the job thing but, if he wasn't in school and not working, it'd be a valid reason for her to end it. Really!? Many women are unemployed and the husband is the breadwinner. So should men start breaking up with these women? The guy is in college and the only reason to be in college is to have a great job at the end of that 4 years prison sentence. Couples fighting is nothing new.. like I read in another forum in relationships. specially those that are 20 years or longer there may be some really low points and bad points in a relationship you can't always bail the minute the ship takes on water.. If it's ok a for women to leave if he is unemployed. It is equally fair to leave if she gains weight. Judging by your view point. If I lost my job and my women left me.... don't let the trailer door hit you on the ass on the way out. That's not love.. it means you were only a cog in her life that made it easier for her to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
NopeNah Posted November 25, 2016 Posted November 25, 2016 Really!? Many women are unemployed and the husband is the breadwinner. So should men start breaking up with these women? The guy is in college and the only reason to be in college is to have a great job at the end of that 4 years prison sentence. Couples fighting is nothing new.. like I read in another forum in relationships. specially those that are 20 years or longer there may be some really low points and bad points in a relationship you can't always bail the minute the ship takes on water.. If it's ok a for women to leave if he is unemployed. It is equally fair to leave if she gains weight. Judging by your view point. If I lost my job and my women left me.... don't let the trailer door hit you on the ass on the way out. That's not love.. it means you were only a cog in her life that made it easier for her to enjoy the fruits of your labor. We're talking dating..not marriage. Some guys are bums,as are some women. Would you date a bum? Would you date someone who is constantly arguing with you? If you don't like her weight gain and she's doing nothing to control it...yes it's fair to leave. Same as she can leave and find someone with a job. I would not date a women with no job..That's crazy. As I said..Op is a bit different and should be focusing on school. My money says, she's found someone with a job that is wining and dining her.
NopeNah Posted November 25, 2016 Posted November 25, 2016 Op..I'm not calling you a bum. To and to answer your thread title: You should focus on your school work,have fun with the college experience(date others),graduate and have a prosperous future.
Recommended Posts