Author Hisbabygirl Posted November 23, 2016 Author Posted November 23, 2016 The things my boyfriend I fight about is mainly when I am mad at my parents. I will start yelling at him and then we both start yelling at each other. I say I don't wanna talk but he has me talk so I just get even more mad. My boyfriend and I have realized we both have some of the same past....
Author Hisbabygirl Posted November 23, 2016 Author Posted November 23, 2016 I actually need to be controlled because I screw up majorly. I love being controlled and having people over protective of me.
Redhead14 Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 My parents could care less and I don't cut anymore. I haven't cut in 9 months... Then you need to start caring about YOURSELF. And, whatever underlying reasons there were for the cutting have not been fully addressed and processed emotionally in 9 months. In one of your other threads, you told us that your parents didn't want you to date this guy, they were encouraging you to date another guy. I suspect they know that the current guy is wrong for you and they'd be right. Is there a counselor at school you can go to? All this is very important for you to talk about with someone you trust. 1
Gaeta Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 My parents could care less and I don't cut anymore. I haven't cut in 9 months... Hisbabygirl: Being in a relationship is suppose to enhance your life. A boyfriend is suppose to elevate his girlfriend not put her down, he's suppose to make her feel good about herself, he is suppose to support her in her dreams and projects, he is suppose to comfort her, and most of all he is suppose to TRUST her. If a boyfriend does not do all of that for you than he is NOT a good boyfriend. You break up with him and you search for a new boyfriend and you do that until you meet one that makes you feel the most important girl in the world. 1
Author Hisbabygirl Posted November 23, 2016 Author Posted November 23, 2016 That was with my ex who choose baseball over me. This is a new guy I am with since June.
Redhead14 Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 Then you need to start caring about YOURSELF. And, whatever underlying reasons there were for the cutting have not been fully addressed and processed emotionally in 9 months. In one of your other threads, you told us that your parents didn't want you to date this guy, they were encouraging you to date another guy. I suspect they know that the current guy is wrong for you and they'd be right. Is there a counselor at school you can go to? All this is very important for you to talk about with someone you trust. As I recall you were seeing a counselor for the cutting and doing better. You should talk to that counselor about the situation with your "boyfriend". This is very important for you to talk about with someone you trust. 3
Author Hisbabygirl Posted November 23, 2016 Author Posted November 23, 2016 Hisbabygirl: Being in a relationship is suppose to enhance your life. A boyfriend is suppose to elevate his girlfriend not put her down, he's suppose to make her feel good about herself, he is suppose to support her in her dreams and projects, he is suppose to comfort her, and most of all he is suppose to TRUST her. If a boyfriend does not do all of that for you than he is NOT a good boyfriend. You break up with him and you search for a new boyfriend and you do that until you meet one that makes you feel the most important girl in the world. I don't ever keep guys for long because No body understands me like my boyfriend does...
Gaeta Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 I don't ever keep guys for long because No body understands me like my boyfriend does... If your boyfriend understand you than why do you fight and yell at each other so often? 2
Author Hisbabygirl Posted November 23, 2016 Author Posted November 23, 2016 If your boyfriend understand you than why do you fight and yell at each other so often? My parents and I fight and by the time I try to calm down I can't because I deal with more yelling from my parents. and I don't mean to yell at him but do because of me being mad at my parents
Redhead14 Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 My parents and I fight and by the time I try to calm down I can't because I deal with more yelling from my parents. and I don't mean to yell at him but do because of me being mad at my parents That is one reason you are not prepared to be in a relationship. You don't have the skills necessary yet to maintain one properly. This is a matter of maturity and insight which you would not have yet. Talk to your counselor . . . 5
Gaeta Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 My parents and I fight and by the time I try to calm down I can't because I deal with more yelling from my parents. and I don't mean to yell at him but do because of me being mad at my parents We call that having too many unsolved issues to be in a healthy relationship. To fix your relationship with your boyfriend you first need to fix your relationship with your parents. This is not something you can do on your own because you are not a therapist or psychologist. Like Redhead said you need to speak about all this to your counselor.
smackie9 Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 You are young and still learning, and so is your BF. You both are developing mentally until you are about 25. I know you are having trouble understanding the difference between being controlling and being protective. It's not stability or love, that's why things are negative and confusing. You are being relationship codependent....please look it up and you will see you are in it for the wrong reasons. I am impressed you have come thus far with getting your cutting/emotions under control BUT you still have a long way to knowing what is healthy and what is not....and to learn to stand on your own two feet. You need to learn to be independent and discover who you are as an individual. Yes this will come in time, but at least you have us giving you a constructive perspective to work with, and to work with your counselor.
linzmoon Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 I don't think it's normal to be fighting so much after 5 months, this is typically the honeymoon stage where you want to just spend time together and be cute. Once the fights start, it's really hard to get back to square one, you can either talk to him and let him know your thoughts or split up for good. I do not believe in taking breaks therefore I won't suggest that, you guys need to separate, maybe if it's meant to be later down the path you can reunite but for the time being it's too toxic too soon.
Redhead14 Posted November 26, 2016 Posted November 26, 2016 I don't think it's normal to be fighting so much after 5 months, this is typically the honeymoon stage where you want to just spend time together and be cute. Once the fights start, it's really hard to get back to square one, you can either talk to him and let him know your thoughts or split up for good. I do not believe in taking breaks therefore I won't suggest that, you guys need to separate, maybe if it's meant to be later down the path you can reunite but for the time being it's too toxic too soon. She just turned 15! He's 18. They don't have a clue . . .
.thumb.jpg.ecc9456a9162638801a51997522712ba.jpg)
Recommended Posts