Hisbabygirl Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 Hey, My boyfriend and I have been together since June and few days we fight or have a disagreement. There are times I just wanna not talk after a while because the fights continue and There're days I feel he doesn't want me around but yet I know he doesn't want to lose me either. Any advice I could use to help with my relationship????????
PegNosePete Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 All this trouble after just 5 months? Relationships are not this much hard work when you find the right person. If you're fighting after 5 months then do you really think you'll be living happily in 1 year or 5 years or 20 years? No, it will just get worse. I would split up and find someone you are more compatible with. 2
Redhead14 Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 Hey, My boyfriend and I have been together since June and few days we fight or have a disagreement. There are times I just wanna not talk after a while because the fights continue and There're days I feel he doesn't want me around but yet I know he doesn't want to lose me either. Any advice I could use to help with my relationship???????? Too much drama for a 5 month "relationship". There is no relationship if you cannot communicate effectively. What you have now will be what you always will have if you stay with him. Move on. Life is too short to be spent arguing with a man. 2
Gaeta Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 It's not normal to fight this much after only 5 months. Actually it's not normal to fight this much after any length of time in a relationship. You 2 are not compatible or both have poor communication skills that makes this more a living hell more than anything else. People don't want to end bad relationship for all sort of reasons, they don't want to be alone, they don't want to search for someone new, they don't want to lose the easy sex, name it. All of those reasons aren't good enough to stay with someone you fight with daily. 5
DK_Casus Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 How severe are the fights - and is anything ever resolved? It's my experience that "a lot of fights" is usually indicative of a specific underlying issue that's not being resolved - and that potentially CAN'T be resolved. So, without more details - it's hard to comment. I was once in a 2-year relationship that was absolutely extreme in terms of fights - and it nearly became physical on a couple of occasions, which is something I would never have thought even remotely possible. It was SO unhealthy. But all the fights were basically about the same thing: She loved me and wanted me a lot more than I loved and wanted her. Terrible, and she outright refused to end it no matter how hard I tried - until I finally made it non-negotiable. A huge lesson - but oh, how stupid I was to ever engage in that relationship.
Hopeful30 Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 I think the first incorrect assumption most people make is that "fight are bad". A lot depends on what you fight about, and HOW you fight. Arguments are actually good, because it shows that both parties care about the relationship, which is why it's easy to get emotional (angry, hurt, upset). It's normal to have a cool off period, I recommend it. It's easier to think clearly when all the emotion has subsided. Usually arguments are the very surface of deeper issues, and we aren't always aware of that. What do you guys fight about?
Gaeta Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 I think the first incorrect assumption most people make is that "fight are bad". A lot depends on what you fight about, and HOW you fight. Arguments are actually good, because it shows that both parties care about the relationship, which is why it's easy to get emotional (angry, hurt, upset). It's normal to have a cool off period, I recommend it. It's easier to think clearly when all the emotion has subsided. Usually arguments are the very surface of deeper issues, and we aren't always aware of that. What do you guys fight about? It's not normal to fight on daily basis since the beginning of a relationship that is only 5 months old. Having a couple of disagreements a year is normal but on daily basis, weekly basis, or monthly basis is indicative you are in a toxic and incompatible relationship. 6
smackie9 Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 I suspect these fights are over jealousy and lack of trust. Who is the one that is chatting with other girls or guys? You have a few guy best friends? orbiters? 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 It's not normal to fight on daily basis since the beginning of a relationship that is only 5 months old. Having a couple of disagreements a year is normal but on daily basis, weekly basis, or monthly basis is indicative you are in a toxic and incompatible relationship. I agree. Get out of this relationship, OP. You should really think on these: 1. Why daily and over what? 2. Does he lose his cool quickly, every time there's a disagreement? 3. Why do you think he doesn't want to lose you and why? It sounds like a bad person to be in a relationship with. 2
Author Hisbabygirl Posted November 23, 2016 Author Posted November 23, 2016 I know my boyfriend has trust issues and after what had happened to me over the summer he gets overly protective.
Author Hisbabygirl Posted November 23, 2016 Author Posted November 23, 2016 How old are you both? My boyfriend and I are 3 years apart in age.
MarkIVSteel Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 My boyfriend and I are 3 years apart in age. She asked how old are you guys not the age difference between you guys.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 I know my boyfriend has trust issues and after what had happened to me over the summer he gets overly protective. I apologize. I don't know your story, if you've shared it on LS. Can you elaborate? 1
Author Hisbabygirl Posted November 23, 2016 Author Posted November 23, 2016 She asked how old are you guys not the age difference between you guys. Im 15 hes 18. My parents allow me to date up to 3 years of age apart.
anika99 Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 She asked how old are you guys not the age difference between you guys. I read the OPs prior posts and just for reference she was only 14 last May so she is either 14 or 15 now.
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 It's not normal to fight on daily basis since the beginning of a relationship that is only 5 months old. Having a couple of disagreements a year is normal but on daily basis, weekly basis, or monthly basis is indicative you are in a toxic and incompatible relationship. Amen. Although I agree to an extent that arguments aren't necessarily a bad thing in an otherwise happy and healthy relationship, I think what and how a couple fights is an important factor to consider and also says a lot about a couple both in terms of their maturity and their overall commitment to their relationship. As for this relationship, 5 months is waaaaay too soon to be fighting as much as they are regardless of the issue. Advice? If you want a more thoughtful response of how to deal with this then perhaps you might provide a bit more information about what it is you fight about and how you fight. As it stands now, most members will tell you exactly as I have and that is this is a huge red flag in your budding relationship. 1
Author Hisbabygirl Posted November 23, 2016 Author Posted November 23, 2016 I apologize. I don't know your story, if you've shared it on LS. Can you elaborate? You're okay. I have had a bad past. I am a former cutter and Back in August one of my guy friends messed up with me since I was with my boyfriend and I would say all of what happened but I will only in private messaging which I don't have activated on here yet. Ever since then I don't talk to my guy friends anymore because my boyfriend doesn't trust them not after what on of them did. which I don't blame him but all the stuff we fight over is mainly cause of my parents because My parents aren't all there right now since back in January I lost my grandma. I still am in depression but its getting better. Both my boyfriend and I love language is physical touch and him and I haven't seen each other in Now a month so i think its the main reason for the fights
Redhead14 Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 Im 15 hes 18. My parents allow me to date up to 3 years of age apart. You are only 15! Are you being intimate with him? If you are, he is at risk for statutory rape charges and child endangerment along with possible emotional abuse of a minor. You are too young to be "dating" and in a relationship with anyone. Be free, enjoy your youth and focus on your education and future. 3
Author Hisbabygirl Posted November 23, 2016 Author Posted November 23, 2016 I read the OPs prior posts and just for reference she was only 14 last May so she is either 14 or 15 now. I turned 15 in july
Author Hisbabygirl Posted November 23, 2016 Author Posted November 23, 2016 You are only 15! Are you being intimate with him? If you are, he is at risk for statutory rape charges and child endangerment along with possible emotional abuse of a minor. You are too young to be "dating" and in a relationship with anyone. Be free, enjoy your youth and focus on your education and future. Him and I just usually hang out and play video games together or go and watch movies but most of the time we will cuddle and fall asleep. I wont let him do anything til I am 18 so. My parents approve him and they trust him to not do anything to hurt me cause my dad isnt afriad to do something.
Redhead14 Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 I turned 15 in july God almighty. Your parents should be all over this . . . From your other threads, you need to give this up right now before it causes you more damage. You are a cutter already so there are things that you need help with and you certainly don't need this kind of a situation to deal with too. You are here seeking advice and there are some very experienced, mature people here. Listen to what we tell you for the good of your own future. Bad "relationship" experiences at such a young age will affect you later in life and in relationships. Trust us. Break up with this guy. 3
Gaeta Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 I know my boyfriend has trust issues and after what had happened to me over the summer he gets overly protective. Do not date men with trust issues. They are manipulative and controlling. You may interpret his jealousy as being cute and a sign he loves you but it's not. It's an ugly character trait that often leads to abuse. 2
Author Hisbabygirl Posted November 23, 2016 Author Posted November 23, 2016 My parents could care less and I don't cut anymore. I haven't cut in 9 months...
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 Do not date men with trust issues. They are manipulative and controlling. You may interpret his jealousy as being cute and a sign he loves you but it's not. It's an ugly character trait that often leads to abuse. Very possible and reasonable. Jealous people tend to want to CONTROL, MANIPULATE those closest around them. These are not signs of love. Insecurity leads them to the aforementioned. Be careful OP.
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