ElizabethIII Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 This guy I've been on a couple of dates with, he now has a habit of asking me last minute. He's just done it again today...literally what are you upto I am around are you? Well yes but i have a gym class booked in a couple of hours, I have no make up on and am not dressed well. Would want to look better than this. I told him last week to give me some advance notice and here we are again.
Gaeta Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 He now has a history...you mean he planned the 2 first dates ahead of time? so he knows how to do things properly. How much do you like this guy? You stick to your guns and keep saying sorry you cannot because you need a bit of warning. Some men caught on right away and others need a little more time. You can also say you can't but are free 'date and time'. See what you get out of this.
Author ElizabethIII Posted November 22, 2016 Author Posted November 22, 2016 He planned first couple of dates in advance. Then kept asking last minute. I told him no. then he planned advance and we met. Now he is doing it again. I mean if he is around in town and got out of work on time I dont mind meeting but i am not dressed for it. I was going to the gym. I have no make up on and sneakers on etc. Im not meeting like that. So what do i say.
Gaeta Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 He planned first couple of dates in advance. Then kept asking last minute. I told him no. then he planned advance and we met. Now he is doing it again. I mean if he is around in town and got out of work on time I dont mind meeting but i am not dressed for it. I was going to the gym. I have no make up on and sneakers on etc. Im not meeting like that. So what do i say. You don't need to get too detailed in your reply. Tell him you would have loved to but it's impossible for today. Does he live far away? That's why he is trying to get with you when he's in town?
Author ElizabethIII Posted November 22, 2016 Author Posted November 22, 2016 His job has actually moved to my town for a few months so he is a mile away from me. That may be why he asked. He doesn't live too far away as they crow flies. But transport links arent good and it is bad traffic and takes about 40 mins to drive.
Gaeta Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 His job has actually moved to my town for a few months so he is a mile away from me. That may be why he asked. He doesn't live too far away as they crow flies. But transport links arent good and it is bad traffic and takes about 40 mins to drive. I am sure he asked because he saw an opportunity to be spontaneous being so close. He could still ask you a day ahead so you're prepared. I would hate too being asked on same day if I could meet after work. A bad hair day is ok for office, not so ok for a date. I totally understand your position. You decline for today and about you offer him tomorrow?
PegNosePete Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 He planned the first couple, then kept asking last minute, then planned another, now keeps asking last minute again..... How about you plan one? 2
dumbass2 Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 He planned the first couple, then kept asking last minute, then planned another, now keeps asking last minute again..... How about you plan one? Yes, you plan the next one or if he asks again last minute and you aren't able, just give him another option
Author ElizabethIII Posted November 22, 2016 Author Posted November 22, 2016 I am sure he asked because he saw an opportunity to be spontaneous being so close. He could still ask you a day ahead so you're prepared. I would hate too being asked on same day if I could meet after work. A bad hair day is ok for office, not so ok for a date. I totally understand your position. You decline for today and about you offer him tomorrow? I said I couldnt do today but let me know another day. No reply yet.
Author ElizabethIII Posted November 22, 2016 Author Posted November 22, 2016 He planned the first couple, then kept asking last minute, then planned another, now keeps asking last minute again..... How about you plan one? History there too. I dont ask him as he has some history of never being available. He said other women havent liked that he is never free Ok. I leave him to ask. He is flaky.
Emilia Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 History there too. I dont ask him as he has some history of never being available. He said other women havent liked that he is never free Ok. I leave him to ask. He is flaky. Time to raise the bar.
Gaeta Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 History there too. I dont ask him as he has some history of never being available. He said other women havent liked that he is never free Ok. I leave him to ask. He is flaky. hhmmm why is he on the dating market if he is never free. And why do you bother with him if he admits himself he is never free. 1
Author ElizabethIII Posted November 22, 2016 Author Posted November 22, 2016 hhmmm why is he on the dating market if he is never free. And why do you bother with him if he admits himself he is never free. I'll take a guess...for random dates As for me, he is a funny guy and no else at the moment. So wouldn't mind a night out.
Emilia Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 I'll take a guess...for random dates As for me, he is a funny guy and no else at the moment. So wouldn't mind a night out. Well, you have been warned. Good luck. 1
Dis Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 When I first started reading this thread I thought he was just trying to take advantage of working so close to where you love so....cut him some slack But then you mentioned he said he is "never free" Ya....he just wants to date when its convenient for him....which will end up in dissapointment for you even if your not expecting much....he still probably wont be able to deliver Even if you have no other prospects at the moment....cut this one loose Nothing worse than a "flaky" guy 1
basil67 Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 I'll take a guess...for random dates As for me, he is a funny guy and no else at the moment. So wouldn't mind a night out. OK, so he suits a need for you. But as you now know what he's like and choose to keep him in your life regardless, you really don't get the right to complain about him.
Author ElizabethIII Posted November 22, 2016 Author Posted November 22, 2016 It's barely even a need. Im not sure there is any point in meeting him again. 1
Dis Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 I get what you mean Elizabeth I used to stay in contact with a guy I dated at one point....he turned out NOT to be relationship material very early on but I thought hanging out once in awhile to flirt and kiss (no sex or anything close) wasnt going to do any harm I was wrong...he was so flaky (a man-child) he couldnt even manage to make plans or show up when he did. He continues to text me....blah blah...but I stay silent...theres no point with these types of men Dont set yourself up for dissapointment....throw this one back in the pond 1
Author ElizabethIII Posted November 22, 2016 Author Posted November 22, 2016 Yeah. If he could at least give me a days notice it would be something
CommittedToThis Posted November 22, 2016 Posted November 22, 2016 I would tell him, "I appreciate you asking me out but we all keep a tight schedule and I would be much more amenable to going out with you if you'd give me at least 24, if not 48, hours advance notice."
preraph Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 The ONLY way to stop that last-minute stuff, whether it's from a man or a friend, is to just say nicely, "Oh, I'd love to, but I already have plans," and then don't offer any details and get off the phone or text asap as if you really are busy. Don't cop attitude, but you have to train people. People are laz and inconsiderate lots of times. Don't let them do it to you. If they want your company, they need to make plans ahead of time or you are too busy. 1
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