FWB situation - I need some serious scolding, LS

[Lorenza]

I won't judge anyone that gets involved in a FWB situation but people need to understand that it comes with baggage. Two people can lay out all of the rules they want but emotions really can't be governed by those rules. I ran into this situation about a month ago. I went on a few incredible dates with a woman that was very physically attracted to. She decided that she wasn't ready for those kinds of emotions but wanted to be FWB. I was tempted but I knew that I couldn't handle it in the long run. I knew that I'd become more emotionally attached to her initially, grow frustrated that we didn't have a relationship and my libido would crash after a few rounds. Or, it'd probably turn into a weird on again/off again relationship as we'd both develop more emotion for each other and then one of us would call it off.

 

Very few people can turn off their emotions and attachements...

 

In my case we were a couple initially. Then he became less and less involved until I couldn't call it anything more than FWB. But it was never an official title of what we were.

[Redhead14]

Yes, that's also true.

 

It's not like I walk around thinking "I deserve unhappiness, I deserve to be treated rather poorly", but unhappiness is definitely a familiar feeling in my life. Probably I accept it unconsciously. And, like Versacehottie wrote, I'm stuck within a victim mentality. I don't really know how to be a winner. Keep hearing from my mother how poor, unhappy and worth pity I am. She always cries and says things like "Children of my cousins all have great lives, but not my daughter, not my poor little daughter. I'm cursed and my daughter is cursed too".

 

Eh, I wish I could just start over.

 

Emotional legacy -- your mother shares the same victim mentality. And, this is something I've said to you before, you are being affected by your history and family attitudes. You don't have to do that to yourself anymore. You're a grown up. Tell your Mom that you are not a little girl anymore and that you need her to encourage you and support you, not point out your short-comings or compare you to your cousins. Start there. Start building a more mature relationship with your Mom. Don't let her pull you down. Respect her but remind her of what it is you really need from her. Support is different than piling on and giving sympathy.

 

You can start over. You just need to get "resolve". You need to focus on your strengths, deal with what you can change and accept what you can't change and work with those things as best you can. There has to be at least one thing you like about yourself and your life. Focus on that for a while.

[Redhead14]

Very few people can turn off their emotions and attachements...

 

In my case we were a couple initially. Then he became less and less involved until I couldn't call it anything more than FWB. But it was never an official title of what we were.

 

No one should turn off their emotions and attachments. However, they should be able to deal with them with intelligence and insight. Balance between the heart and mind is about maturity and inner strength. Emotional "IQ" and intellectual "IQ" are two different things. Some people operate more from a place of emotionality and their lives are usually filled with chaos/disorganized. Some people operate mostly on an intellectual/cerebral level and their lives are somewhat dry, restrained, stoic. The people who are in synch on both levels have rich, full, "colorful" and balanced lives.

 

People need to be able to look at their emotions and apply logic and identify those emotions that aren't "useful" in a particular situation. If a person has "emotional attachment" to someone who isn't right for them and cannot apply 'logic" to remove themselves from the situation often stay stuck for a really, really long time. And, the reason they do this, is because of an emotion that is being allowed to control them that isn't useful in that case -- fear.

 

Fear does not control me, I face it so as to control it . . .

 

Sure, everyone would struggle with moving on from someone they love. They should allow themselves to grieve and process the emotions, but they need to rely on their brain some as well by finding things that help them move forward and channel those emotions into something more useful and helpful.

 

And, again, it comes down to resolve, strength, guts. And, Lorenza, you are a person who has struggled with some awful things in your life and you are still here. That says you are not a victim, you are a SURVIVOR and that took a ton of strength to do. You have the power and strength to do what needs to be done for yourself to choose relationships and emotions that are healthy and managed. Start by not accepting relationships that are harmful and toxic to you and keeps you from pulling out of the "place" you are in. You will, hopefully, be at some point in a place where you say to yourself "look how much time I wasted not being fulfilled in that relationship with FWB. I don't want to waste anymore time being anxious and "unfulfilled" when there is Xthing I could have been doing for myself." You need to apply insight and foresight.

[Lorenza]

Thanks Redhead, reading these words did make me feel a lot better.

 

Applying logic to my emotions was never a strength of mine. I'm good at analyzing myself but even after drawing the right conclusions, I would go straight back at doing things I just swore against.

 

For example, I would think about that guy and clearly see why the relationship is toxic, make up my mind to end it and then, instead of sending a breakup text, I would get emotional, delete it and ask him if he wants to come over. Probably get rejected, feel bad, get anxiety and crawl back into the corner until he reaches out and suggest to meet. Then we would meet, I get a moment of happiness conflicted by emptiness, he leaves and gets distant again and the circle of self-destruction repeats.

 

Until recently I realized I've become like people who harm themselves by cutting - the same way they find comfort in pain, I find comfort in feeling miserable and rejected. And I don't want that.

 

I want to become a ballanced person, like the ones who combine EQ and IQ. Some people are able to accept the negative feeling we have to deal with in life, but still love themselves and switch between emotions when it comes to other parts of their lives.

 

Hope that you're right and it's possible to start over. I'd have to distanciate myself from a lot of negative things... And face the fear.

 

Thanks once again!

[kckc]

Look, you are a young, attractive woman and you deserve to have a one, healthy relationship.

 

I'm thinking that your love issues might be connected to relationship with your father, just a thought. Do you have a strong, uncontrollable need of being desired and loved?

[Redhead14]

Thanks Redhead, reading these words did make me feel a lot better.

 

Applying logic to my emotions was never a strength of mine. I'm good at analyzing myself but even after drawing the right conclusions, I would go straight back at doing things I just swore against.

 

For example, I would think about that guy and clearly see why the relationship is toxic, make up my mind to end it and then, instead of sending a breakup text, I would get emotional, delete it and ask him if he wants to come over. Probably get rejected, feel bad, get anxiety and crawl back into the corner until he reaches out and suggest to meet. Then we would meet, I get a moment of happiness conflicted by emptiness, he leaves and gets distant again and the circle of self-destruction repeats.

 

Until recently I realized I've become like people who harm themselves by cutting - the same way they find comfort in pain, I find comfort in feeling miserable and rejected. And I don't want that.

 

I want to become a ballanced person, like the ones who combine EQ and IQ. Some people are able to accept the negative feeling we have to deal with in life, but still love themselves and switch between emotions when it comes to other parts of their lives.

 

Hope that you're right and it's possible to start over. I'd have to distanciate myself from a lot of negative things... And face the fear.

 

Thanks once again!

I get a moment of happiness -- Yes, it's all about the little highs you get. It's more or less an addiction. You live for the little highs, knowing they won't last long and in between the lows cause you to start "jonesin" for the next high. Focus on that for a bit. Wouldn't it be better to wait for a lasting high that is healthy and doesn't cost you or take such an emotional toll?

[Lorenza]

Look, you are a young, attractive woman and you deserve to have a one, healthy relationship.

 

I'm thinking that your love issues might be connected to relationship with your father, just a thought. Do you have a strong, uncontrollable need of being desired and loved?

 

Thanks <3

 

I don't think my need of being loved is in any way stronger or more uncontrollable than in other people. I used to be on the edge of BPD type of needy and afraid of abandonment, but not anymore - not even close. But when your needs are not being met at all, it can make you into a very unhappy person longing to be loved properly.

[Lorenza]

Btw, an update - I went on a "date" with a guy.

 

Well, I'm not thinking of it as an actual date, it's more of a sign that I'm moving on. It didn't feel terrible as I expected. But it confirmed that I want to be on my own for a while.

 

Maybe I'll do this thing where I meet different guys to have a conversation over a cup coffee with. Feels like it might benefit me in some ways.

[CommittedToThis]

Maybe I'll do this thing where I meet different guys to have a conversation over a cup coffee with. Feels like it might benefit me in some ways.

 

If that's all your expectations are -- coffee and conversation -- I think the experiences will be most beneficial in helping you move on, emotionally. Good call.

 

One thing I notice in your posts, sometimes you are very critical of yourself. Those kinds of negative self-thoughts can be incredibly damaging so, just a suggestion, if you find yourself referring or thinking of yourself in negative ways, try to acknowledge it. If you say, "Man, what I said was stupid!" try to re-frame it like, "Man, I really could have thought a bit more before I said that."

 

The fact is you're not stupid (or whatever negative thing), and we all wish we did things differently sometimes. It's perfectly acceptable.

 

Give it a try -- catching yourself thinking negatively in terms of who you are -- and maybe you might find life will be a little bit better.

 

Every little bit helps. All the best!

[Redhead14]

Btw, an update - I went on a "date" with a guy.

 

Well, I'm not thinking of it as an actual date, it's more of a sign that I'm moving on. It didn't feel terrible as I expected. But it confirmed that I want to be on my own for a while.

 

Maybe I'll do this thing where I meet different guys to have a conversation over a cup coffee with. Feels like it might benefit me in some ways.

 

Well, I think it's a good idea to date others, however, I think you need to spend some time with Yourself. Get focused and centered on you, your needs, what it is you want in a man/relationship. But the first relationship you need to cultivate is the relationship you have with YOURSELF.

 

Sure, see a few guys, keep your expectations in check and just learn how to socialize with them. It's kind of like exposure therapy. But, don't "look" for a relationship for a while. Establish and maintain boundaries. Be upfront about the fact that you aren't looking for a relationship and want to keep things casual and without intimacy. Until, of course, you meet the guy who really has good potential for a relationship You've learned some things, I think, so keep them in mind and think before you leap.

[Lorenza]

If that's all your expectations are -- coffee and conversation -- I think the experiences will be most beneficial in helping you move on, emotionally. Good call.

 

One thing I notice in your posts, sometimes you are very critical of yourself. Those kinds of negative self-thoughts can be incredibly damaging so, just a suggestion, if you find yourself referring or thinking of yourself in negative ways, try to acknowledge it. If you say, "Man, what I said was stupid!" try to re-frame it like, "Man, I really could have thought a bit more before I said that."

 

The fact is you're not stupid (or whatever negative thing), and we all wish we did things differently sometimes. It's perfectly acceptable.

 

Give it a try -- catching yourself thinking negatively in terms of who you are -- and maybe you might find life will be a little bit better.

 

Every little bit helps. All the best!

 

Yes, I only want to meet up and talk. No other option seems even remotely attractive right now...

 

You're right, I have a habit of self-bashing, especially when I'm at my lowest points. In all of my relationships, my partners would notice my weakness and expect me to apologize without guilt and I would always take the blame. Probably this self-bashing habit has something to do with it.

 

Thanks, I will try to catch myself at those moments when I feel stupid, useless and at fault for everything. I've promised myself to not apologize without fault as well.

[Lorenza]

Well, I think it's a good idea to date others, however, I think you need to spend some time with Yourself. Get focused and centered on you, your needs, what it is you want in a man/relationship. But the first relationship you need to cultivate is the relationship you have with YOURSELF.

 

Sure, see a few guys, keep your expectations in check and just learn how to socialize with them. It's kind of like exposure therapy. But, don't "look" for a relationship for a while. Establish and maintain boundaries. Be upfront about the fact that you aren't looking for a relationship and want to keep things casual and without intimacy. Until, of course, you meet the guy who really has good potential for a relationship You've learned some things, I think, so keep them in mind and think before you leap.

 

Yes RH, I'm gonna stay alone for a while now... It's also something I want. Wrote to my mom the other day (who is actively advising me to find someone new based on an old-fashioned wisdom "cure your sickness with whatever made you sick") - "Mom, how nice it is to wake up and not feel anxious, go to sleep without crying and feeling rejected, not wait for anyone to message or call me back, not worry if we're gonna meet this week or not. I want to stay in this peace for a long long time".

 

She, of course, countered this with "a normal relationship should not give you these type of feelings", but I said that I need to be in a different state of mind to attract a different kind of guys. Otherwise the story will repeat itself.

 

Exactly, the last thing I want right is intimacy anyway. But meeting up and talking seems to be a very good distraction.

[Versacehottie]

Yes, I only want to meet up and talk. No other option seems even remotely attractive right now...

 

You're right, I have a habit of self-bashing, especially when I'm at my lowest points. In all of my relationships, my partners would notice my weakness and expect me to apologize without guilt and I would always take the blame. Probably this self-bashing habit has something to do with it.

 

Thanks, I will try to catch myself at those moments when I feel stupid, useless and at fault for everything. I've promised myself to not apologize without fault as well.

 

I'm pretty sure it does. People notice this almost right away and most people will try to impose their will on others. it's your duty to yourself to stick up for yourself and not allow people to see you as "less than". You want to be very careful of who you let into that space, especially if they will exploit it so they can have things their way. Basically if you repeatedly show that you are apologizing for things you needn't have or show them that you are not as strong they will capitalize on it and not value you as much as they should and then it becomes a really vicious cycle of where you are mistreated and not valued, which causes you to undervalue yourself.

 

I think it's good to go on some dates, like you said above to get your confidence back. It helps when you don't care that much to be in a dating situation. But you have to be strong enough to also keep that stance rather than get swept up OR put your worth in someone else's hands. Dating is still dating and people might do things that knock you down a bit even when you don't care much--so keep an eye on it all. Do as much or as little as you can truly handle. Good luck

[ashy555]

I second that..

 

Dating really gets you out of your comfort zone. I have just started again and have met up with about 7 different people in the last 2 months. My confidence has skyrocketed. I barely get nervous before meeting someone online and I am finding it quite fun meeting new people. UNLESS I really really like them. Then I am a bit of a nervous mess. haha

[Lorenza]

I'm pretty sure it does. People notice this almost right away and most people will try to impose their will on others. it's your duty to yourself to stick up for yourself and not allow people to see you as "less than". You want to be very careful of who you let into that space, especially if they will exploit it so they can have things their way. Basically if you repeatedly show that you are apologizing for things you needn't have or show them that you are not as strong they will capitalize on it and not value you as much as they should and then it becomes a really vicious cycle of where you are mistreated and not valued, which causes you to undervalue yourself.

 

I think it's good to go on some dates, like you said above to get your confidence back. It helps when you don't care that much to be in a dating situation. But you have to be strong enough to also keep that stance rather than get swept up OR put your worth in someone else's hands. Dating is still dating and people might do things that knock you down a bit even when you don't care much--so keep an eye on it all. Do as much or as little as you can truly handle. Good luck

 

It's true, I always get devalued in all of my relationships. Never dare to stand my ground and always end up apologizing for something I shouldn't. I would sometimes look at other people's relationships and wonder how come women are treated like queens, their guys would jump around them and apologize whenever they're pissed off. Not that I want someone to jump around me and walk on eggshells, but it would be nice to exercise my right to be upset and get an apology. At least sometimes. Not sure if that has ever happened to me.

 

There are countless examples of me being a doormat in my relationships. Don't feel like you have have to comment on these, Versacehottie, but I just want to write them off, they've been bothering me so much. I really need to write this down.

 

The guy I dated before the last one, has made me cry and almost beg for his forgiveness a number of times. I feel so humiliated remembering even remembering. Like I have betrayed myself.

We would most often meet at his place where I would spend the night. He worked from home and had no schedule - in fact he would sometimes spend the whole day watching movies, but I was working everyday and my job required me to travel around quite a lot. Whenever I was sleeping there, he would set an alarm and pressure me to wake up, have breakfast and leave as soon as possible. I told him that my work wears me off so much and asked him to let me sleep a bit longer. After about 2 weeks of me sleeping an hour longer than he initially wanted (just a note: when I wasn't there, he would sleep until noon), he woke me up one morning, all pissed, told me to get my stuff and get out of the apartment. He was yelling at me saying how I'm dragging him back and not letting him start his day, that I'm a slacker and a lazy person, he doesn't need a partner who doesn't let him move forward, that I'm using his hospitality. This was for asking to let me sleep until 10 o'clock. I cried and apologized, telling him I will wake up whenever he wants and that's I'm not lazy. That wasn't quite enough. Next time I came over, there was more yelling and lecturing, more criticizing of who I am and what I do, until after more crying and apologizing, he decided he's satisfied and he "forgave" me. Mind you, I was starting my own business and he was sitting at home, working few hours a day.

 

There were a lot of other examples, like how he got pissed of I said something about his ex wife (I was completely neutral and was blown away he found that sentence as a trigger!) and as result minimized the number of times we were meeting, made me bring my own food for a few weeks; during the New Years Eve party he got completely wasted and acted like a total moron (I had to basically drag him back home while he sang out loud, tried to harass strangers etc), then at home he put on loud music at 5 am and I came to ask him to take it down which resulted in him throwing horrible verbal abuse towards me, calling me names etc. He went to sleep in another room and when I came there next morning expecting he will say sorry for his behavior, he was all cocky and didn't even talk to me! He made ME apologize to him for not letting him have his fun with his music!!

 

From the most recent relationship, I would apologize about my ex telling me he's gonna be back from his friend's place at 23, but coming back at 7 am instead; "criticizing" him for bringing food just for himself while I would cook dinner for both of us every night; never get a simple sorry for last minute cancellations, or not even hearing from him after he promised to come over to my place or my work; never get sorry for the way he'd acted while angry which can be quite scary. Etc etc etc.

 

TL;DR I'm so ashamed I let these men walk all over me... I feel I have mistreated myself. This has to stop. I promise, the next man in my life (and that won't happen anytime soon!) will treat me as someone precious and important.

Edited December 18, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language ~T

[Lorenza]

I second that..

 

Dating really gets you out of your comfort zone. I have just started again and have met up with about 7 different people in the last 2 months. My confidence has skyrocketed. I barely get nervous before meeting someone online and I am finding it quite fun meeting new people. UNLESS I really really like them. Then I am a bit of a nervous mess. haha

 

It also lets you realize how many different/good guys there are and not to settle for anyone. Kinda widens your horizons, hehe!

[CommittedToThis]

I'm so ashamed I let these men walk all over me... I feel I have mistreated myself. This has to stop.

 

I'm liking this line of thinking, Lorenza.

 

For whatever reason (childhood issues?) you sound like a "giver", an empath, someone who puts others' needs first.

 

I'm like that, too. Or rather used to be.

 

It's a fact of life that not-so-empathetic people find people like us irresistible. They see in us our trusting nature, and some seek to take advantage of it.

 

Here's how I put an end to being a doormat and letting people take advantage of my good nature: I walked away from a 10-year relationship, didn't date or have sex for over a year, figured out why I took emotional and physical abuse for 10 years, and came to a startling realization.

 

I didn't really love myself. Not consciously, anyway.

 

I Google'd "self-love" and started implementing some daily exercises to help remind myself that, hey, dude, I come first, always, no questions asked.

 

Some of it is weird, like locking yourself in the loo, looking yourself in the mirror and seeing yourself as others see you, and telling yourself out loud, "Lorenza, I love you. I am a good woman who is worthy of nothing less than total respect and kindness. While I have a kind and generous heart I also have the right to put myself and my needs first. Lorenza, I will always be here to take care of you."

 

I did that every day myself and I swear, within a month or two I started noticing changes. The biggest one was I would catch my negative thoughts. Like, if I spilled the cat food, in my mind I would say, "You dumbazz" but I would catch myself immediately and tell myself, "Hey, you're not dumb, you just dropped the cat food."

 

My mood got better and I started truly having entire days when I wouldn't have a single thought about ex or the 10 years worth of life I left behind.

 

I found myself drawn to my passion again (music) and writing some really cool, complex stuff.

 

Within 3 months I felt good enough to start dating again, so I did.

 

I immediately met a wealthy older woman and we hit it off. Over an intense 3 weeks of dating I was sensing a distinct lack of respect on her part so I ended it.

 

After I dumped her, her true colors came out and she sent me a few nasty emails and texts LOL.

 

I felt incredible ending it before things got too far.

 

I attribute my ability to not be the new date's doormat to the lessons I learned from my former relationship coupled with my self-love exercises reinforcing my need to put myself first.

 

Once you can put yourself first, then you can truly give yourself to others and trust that you will not be used.

 

All the best!

[Lorenza]

I'm liking this line of thinking, Lorenza.

 

For whatever reason (childhood issues?) you sound like a "giver", an empath, someone who puts others' needs first.

 

I'm like that, too. Or rather used to be.

 

It's a fact of life that not-so-empathetic people find people like us irresistible. They see in us our trusting nature, and some seek to take advantage of it.

 

Here's how I put an end to being a doormat and letting people take advantage of my good nature: I walked away from a 10-year relationship, didn't date or have sex for over a year, figured out why I took emotional and physical abuse for 10 years, and came to a startling realization.

 

I didn't really love myself. Not consciously, anyway.

 

I Google'd "self-love" and started implementing some daily exercises to help remind myself that, hey, dude, I come first, always, no questions asked.

 

Some of it is weird, like locking yourself in the loo, looking yourself in the mirror and seeing yourself as others see you, and telling yourself out loud, "Lorenza, I love you. I am a good woman who is worthy of nothing less than total respect and kindness. While I have a kind and generous heart I also have the right to put myself and my needs first. Lorenza, I will always be here to take care of you."

 

I did that every day myself and I swear, within a month or two I started noticing changes. The biggest one was I would catch my negative thoughts. Like, if I spilled the cat food, in my mind I would say, "You dumbazz" but I would catch myself immediately and tell myself, "Hey, you're not dumb, you just dropped the cat food."

 

My mood got better and I started truly having entire days when I wouldn't have a single thought about ex or the 10 years worth of life I left behind.

 

I found myself drawn to my passion again (music) and writing some really cool, complex stuff.

 

Within 3 months I felt good enough to start dating again, so I did.

 

I immediately met a wealthy older woman and we hit it off. Over an intense 3 weeks of dating I was sensing a distinct lack of respect on her part so I ended it.

 

After I dumped her, her true colors came out and she sent me a few nasty emails and texts LOL.

 

I felt incredible ending it before things got too far.

 

I attribute my ability to not be the new date's doormat to the lessons I learned from my former relationship coupled with my self-love exercises reinforcing my need to put myself first.

 

Once you can put yourself first, then you can truly give yourself to others and trust that you will not be used.

 

All the best!

 

Thanks a lot for this post!

 

I feel silly dealing with my little problems when there are people like you, who have strength to walk away from a 10 years relationship. But at the same time it's great to know, that no matter how deep you sink you can always resurface again, with power of will and determination.

 

Yes, I think I don't love me enough either - it's not something I consciously tell myself everyday, but it's somewhere there inside of my mind. Otherwise why would I choose to suffer. But I will take your advice and remind myself daily, that's I'm good enough and will take care of what my heart wants and needs.

 

To be honest, I already feel better. Walking away from that heartbreaking situation with my ex is starting to give me strength. And I did it by my own choice! The old Lorenza would stay and feed on breadcrumbs and stay miserable until even the feeder would get enough of her misery and decide that occasional sex is not worth it.

 

Looking forward to all of those months of peaceful solitude, telling myself positive things with those self-love exercises and becoming someone who will never be a doormat again!

 

Thanks again for the support!

[Lorenza]

Still going strong and proud of myself!

 

The guy tried to reach out from another number. First by claiming eternal love and then guilt-tripping. But I kept my dignity and my silence.

 

I think I'm starting to heal and my focus has naturally shifted on other things. Yay!!!

 

Some would say - big deal, you ended a bad relationship. That's what you're SUPPOSED to do anyway. But for me, it's an achievement that gave me new confidence and strength.

 

Looking forward to whatever life will bring next.

[GunslingerRoland]

Good for you, for sticking to your guns. It's strange how hard it can be to break out of a toxic relationship, but it's a real problem all the same.

 

I think it's good that you are taking some time for yourself. You'll do better in finding the right man once you have more confidence that you don't NEED to have someone.

[Versacehottie]

Still going strong and proud of myself!

 

The guy tried to reach out from another number. First by claiming eternal love and then guilt-tripping. But I kept my dignity and my silence.

 

I think I'm starting to heal and my focus has naturally shifted on other things. Yay!!!

 

Some would say - big deal, you ended a bad relationship. That's what you're SUPPOSED to do anyway. But for me, it's an achievement that gave me new confidence and strength.

 

Looking forward to whatever life will bring next.

 

Love the way you SOUND in this post! You are really making progress. Like you said, it's about so much more than just this guy. It's about you! What you learn from being able to accomplish this will transfer into all areas of your life positively if you want it to. Congratulations!! I'm happy for you!!

[Lorenza]

Love the way you SOUND in this post! You are really making progress. Like you said, it's about so much more than just this guy. It's about you! What you learn from being able to accomplish this will transfer into all areas of your life positively if you want it to. Congratulations!! I'm happy for you!!

 

Thanks Versacehottie! <3

[lovely81]

I really enjoyed this thread. I found a lot to connect to, both in the OP's story and in the responses. Seeing the OP's progress is also inspiring and helps me in my own journey to stay away from negative situations/temptations and be true to myself.

[Lorenza]

I really enjoyed this thread. I found a lot to connect to, both in the OP's story and in the responses. Seeing the OP's progress is also inspiring and helps me in my own journey to stay away from negative situations/temptations and be true to myself.

 

Wow, so happy to hear that!

 

Let's make this year a year of right priorities, self-respect and healthy relationships (with other people and/or ourselves)!