SaveYourHeart Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 So my marriage has been....difficult to say the least. We've only been together for two years and have nearly gotten divorced a handful of times. We both have tattoos, he has many more than me. I asked for his blessings to get a tattoo of my little black tuxedo cat, and he responded that he'd rather I get a tattoo of his name. Our biggest issue is that he doesn't feel like a priority in my life, and I have been making the genuine effort to show him that he is. However, I'm terrified to get any tattoo, let alone his name. Now I feel obligated to get that instead of a small cat tattoo because I want him to feel more important to me than the cat, but I'm still terrified that our marriage might not work. Plus I find name tattoos to be a tad tacky (no offense). It makes me sad because I love tattoos, and it's been years since I got a new one, but I've never dictated what he puts on his body. I'm somewhat angry that he's put me into this situation. I don't know what to do, so I'm turning to you lovely people here at LS to help me evaluate this situation rationally. Thanks in advance!!
Methodical Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 NO! Never get a person's name permanently inked on your body. 7
DeeplyMissHer Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 Don't get your husband's name tattooed on you. Especially when you're marriage is in hot water. There is many other ways to show him you love him. If he is making you feel guilty for not wanting to do this or trying to tell you want not to get on your body. That is a bigger issue all in its self. 2
Author SaveYourHeart Posted November 21, 2016 Author Posted November 21, 2016 Don't get your husband's name tattooed on you. Especially when you're marriage is in hot water. There is many other ways to show him you love him. If he is making you feel guilty for not wanting to do this or trying to tell you want not to get on your body. That is a bigger issue all in its self. How do I explain that I'm not comfortable putting his name on my body without hurting his feelings?
Methodical Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 I've never dictated what he puts on his body. I'm somewhat angry that he's put me into this situation. I don't know what to do, so I'm turning to you lovely people here at LS to help me evaluate this situation rationally. Thanks in advance!! Tell him the bolded quote from above. 3
Author SaveYourHeart Posted November 21, 2016 Author Posted November 21, 2016 Tell him the bolded quote from above. I did, but he's still hurt that I'd rather get a cat tattoo than his name. It's turning into a sticky situation that was meant to just be in good fun, but now I'm stuck between never getting another tattoo or getting his name on my butt and I'm just really not into either of those options.
TrustedthenBusted Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 My wife suggested a couple times that we get eachothers names tattooed somewhere. I said no. She was a little hurt over it, and thought it meant I wasn't committed to her fully. ( many years ago she had an affair ) I told her I was 100% committed to my children, and asked her if she believed that and understood that. She said absolutely. I said " Good. Because I'm not getting their names tattooed on me either. " 11
Author SaveYourHeart Posted November 21, 2016 Author Posted November 21, 2016 My wife suggested a couple times that we get eachothers names tattooed somewhere. I said no. She was a little hurt over it, and thought it meant I wasn't committed to her fully. ( many years ago she had an affair ) I told her I was 100% committed to my children, and asked her if she believed that and understood that. She said absolutely. I said " Good. Because I'm not getting their names tattooed on me either. " I almost wish I had kids so I could use that line, almost lol. Unfortunately, my pets are my kids right now, and that line won't work for me.
Art_Critic Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 Don't get his name tattooed on you, he pulled that out to test you.. what an idiot.. he is your husband and he shouldn't be testing your loyalty to him. Tell him no, that you won't tattoo his name on your body and it isn't a reflection of your commitment to him or the relationship, it's just a poor taste thing to do. 2
MidwestUSA Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 Don't do it, please. My stepdaughter is in a very, very bad place with her BF. Sadly, she has his name tatted, on HER NECK. She's going to spend the rest of her life trying to date only guys named Rick. My suggestion that she put a P in front of it did not go over very well. Frankly, she looks like trailer trash. 3
Author SaveYourHeart Posted November 21, 2016 Author Posted November 21, 2016 Don't do it, please. My stepdaughter is in a very, very bad place with her BF. Sadly, she has his name tatted, on HER NECK. She's going to spend the rest of her life trying to date only guys named Rick. My suggestion that she put a P in front of it did not go over very well. Frankly, she looks like trailer trash. Is it big? 0_0 That's terrifying, is there anyway it can be covered by another tattoo? I really don't want to do it, I just feel like everything I say is proof to him that I don't care about him as much as I care about the damn cat. I love the cat, I do, and he's cute, but I love my husband more. I just don't want his name on my butt. 1
MidwestUSA Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 Is it big? 0_0 That's terrifying, is there anyway it can be covered by another tattoo? I really don't want to do it, I just feel like everything I say is proof to him that I don't care about him as much as I care about the damn cat. I love the cat, I do, and he's cute, but I love my husband more. I just don't want his name on my butt. It's big enough. It could probably be covered. She's already had two huge ones that were mistakes. One is covered, sort of, and the other is a mess in progress. If I were you, I'd simply say I don't want ANY tatts right now. Pass on the cat (I know, you should be able to do it if you want, but...). Don't put his stamp on you. It's YOUR body. It will tell you all you need to know about him if he pushes the issue. Work on your marriage; forget about ink. 4
CommittedToThis Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 Is his name such that, if things take a turn for the unfortunate with you two, you can pull a Johnny Depp move? He turned his tat "Winona Forever" into "Wino Forever" after their break-up as legend has it. Tattoos aside, your bf sounds like he's head-gaming you, testing you. Maybe tell him you've decided not to get a new tattoo after all. No kitten, no names. 2
mrs rubble Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 Get "love" or "peace" written in a language he doesn't understand (Japanese. Arabic or similar) and tell him it's his name. ;-p
Davey L Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 It may be a cop out but you could just tell him you've now decided you don't want any tattoo doing now.
Haydn Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 Don`t do it. I regret getting `Cassandra forever` on my forehead. Kiddies is fine. Got all of those. But agree with the others. He sounds like an idiot.
Jump Through Loops Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 (edited) Tell him this: I find name tattoos to be a tad tacky (no offense). It's the truth. It's how you feel about it. Sorted. Or... ... you could agree to have his name tattooed on your butt so long as he agrees to have 'insecure' tattooed on his forehead. (no offense). Edited November 27, 2016 by Jump Through Loops dyslexic mumbo jumbo
kgcolonel Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 Here's a thought, how about you put something like: "Love, Honor, Commitment and Loyalty" and tell him that you and he should get identical designs to show your commitment to each other? Tell him that this is what you want to build with him and him only....frankly, if someone told me that the only way to make them feel secure was to tattoo their name on my body, I'd say that is a problem with them, not a lack of commitment from me. If you do decide to do this, do it in a small discrete way in an area easily covered by clothing....now it is this...soon it will be something more outrageous....be wary with him. This is a request from an insecure person. He is trying to "own you".
PrettyEmily77 Posted November 27, 2016 Posted November 27, 2016 How do I explain that I'm not comfortable putting his name on my body without hurting his feelings? You don't want to have his name tattooed on your butt = that's reason enough. 'While I don't want to hurt your feelings, I'm not comfortable putting your name on my body because I find name tattoos to be tacky'. The end.
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