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I am the rebound guy - will I imminently be dumped?

Rjonny

By Rjonny
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Sweetfish Established Member

Sweetfish

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Posted (edited)
So this is just in: I have just been dumped. :)

 

It's funny, because I wanted to do the same after yesterday's comments in this thread. I however wanted to think this over and do it during the weekend because I'm quite busy with work. But looks like she was faster.

 

So, she calls me today and says that she was thinking during the past few days and came to the conclusion that she does not want to be in a relationship right now and instead would want to focus on herself and her work.

 

After I have pressed her a little she then switched reasons and said it's because of me supposedly being extremely childish and she does not have the patience to put up with my sh*t anymore. This is literally completely out of the blue, as we never really had any arguments of that kind (or arguments at all for that matter).

 

She even went as far as to insult me to find someone like 20-21 year old in the future as they are more close to my level of maturity (I'm 28 yo). The tone she was speaking made it very clear that this was a directed insult. This was completely unprovoked though, as I never insulted her or behaved childishly with her at all. Where does all this sudden rage and hate come from? Like I'm literally the devil himself... while a week ago things were completely fine.

 

Anyway, in the end I question her if it's because of the douche and she then get enraged and super defensive even more. She does not directly answer the question and only replies that "you're worying about abslutely nothing whatsoever. This was going on in the past as well as this is why I brake up, as I don't have patience for this nonsense worying anymore".

 

So, she is basically denying that it's because of the douche and says it's 100% because of me and my charachter.

 

I don't really want to argue with her, so I just told her "yeah, ok, wish you good luck for you in the future".

 

I however do not buy into her story. I cannot accept her reasons for the breakup to be true. Maybe they have some truth to them but I don't think they are reason enough for a breakup. She was definitely pushed over the edge by the sudden appearance of the douche.

 

What I don't get why does she have to attack me like I'm now the piece of trash that needs to be scolded and thrown out? Why can't she just be honest and say that she simply likes someone else and it's nothing personal. Why make me look like and feel like the biggest loser and sh*thead there is? Why is this part necessary?

 

I am now made to look like the idiot now who does not know how to behave and acts like a child? Why? Just a week ago she had absolutely no complaints of any kind. It's infuriating...

 

At the very end (despite the many insults) she even had the audacity to tell me she will call me from now and then and check up on me how I am etc. - like what the hell? She just called me childish and immature and told me to date teenagers and now wants to be friends? - I told her I'm going NC and will block her everywhere.

 

This whole situation is messed up.

 

 

 

Sorry bro... it was going to happen regardless.

 

The whole going crazy on you and making you look like the devil is a defense mechanism.

 

It's sole function is to give a reason not to like you... to make you angry so you can attack- react and fuel the reason for why she is dumping you

Don't take it personal... it's simply a defense mechanism ppl use to cope with hurting someone.

Edited by Sweetfish
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BAcK Established Member

BAcK

Posted
Posted (edited)
So this is just in: I have just been dumped. :)

 

It's funny, because I wanted to do the same after yesterday's comments in this thread. I however wanted to think this over and do it during the weekend because I'm quite busy with work. But looks like she was faster.

 

So, she calls me today and says that she was thinking during the past few days and came to the conclusion that she does not want to be in a relationship right now and instead would want to focus on herself and her work.

 

After I have pressed her a little she then switched reasons and said it's because of me supposedly being extremely childish and she does not have the patience to put up with my sh*t anymore. This is literally completely out of the blue, as we never really had any arguments of that kind (or arguments at all for that matter).

 

She even went as far as to insult me to find someone like 20-21 year old in the future as they are more close to my level of maturity (I'm 28 yo). The tone she was speaking made it very clear that this was a directed insult. This was completely unprovoked though, as I never insulted her or behaved childishly with her at all. Where does all this sudden rage and hate come from? Like I'm literally the devil himself... while a week ago things were completely fine.

 

Anyway, in the end I question her if it's because of the douche and she then get enraged and super defensive even more. She does not directly answer the question and only replies that "you're worying about abslutely nothing whatsoever. This was going on in the past as well as this is why I brake up, as I don't have patience for this nonsense worying anymore".

 

So, she is basically denying that it's because of the douche and says it's 100% because of me and my charachter.

 

I don't really want to argue with her, so I just told her "yeah, ok, wish you good luck for you in the future".

 

I however do not buy into her story. I cannot accept her reasons for the breakup to be true. Maybe they have some truth to them but I don't think they are reason enough for a breakup. She was definitely pushed over the edge by the sudden appearance of the douche.

 

What I don't get why does she have to attack me like I'm now the piece of trash that needs to be scolded and thrown out? Why can't she just be honest and say that she simply likes someone else and it's nothing personal. Why make me look like and feel like the biggest loser and sh*thead there is? Why is this part necessary?

 

I am now made to look like the idiot now who does not know how to behave and acts like a child? Why? Just a week ago she had absolutely no complaints of any kind. It's infuriating...

 

At the very end (despite the many insults) she even had the audacity to tell me she will call me from now and then and check up on me how I am etc. - like what the hell? She just called me childish and immature and told me to date teenagers and now wants to be friends? - I told her I'm going NC and will block her everywhere.

 

This whole situation is messed up.

So it turned out I was right. She is playing the blame game to ease her guilt. I experienced the same thing 3 months back. She will do her best to portrait you as the vilain of the story and eventually get back with her ex. Whatever you do, do not contact her or try to justify yourself. She may get more defensive and things may deteriorate. Just walk away with you head held up high. Completely ignore her. That is what i failed to do. Do not fall into her mind games and be a man. One day she will realize her loss but don't dwell on it. You will find way better.

Edited by BAcK
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Rjonny Member

Rjonny

Posted
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Posted

It's amusing how these cases are always so similar.

 

I'm now literally Satan so that she can sleep well at night that she was actually not a POS with me.

 

It's funny because she told me that this is exactly what the douche did with her last year when he broke up. He pinned it all on her and made her feel bad. She knew it's not true but nevertheless admitted that it hurt her to be accused of all those things the douche said.

 

And now she does the exact same things to others too.

 

I have to admit that it does hurt a lot. Not necessarily the breakup itself but how she was treating me.

 

But oh well, enjoy the cheating dude who was thowing chairs at you at your own home. It will only get worse from here on.

BAcK Established Member

BAcK

Posted
Posted

That's the spirit man. From this point, work on yourself, become a better person physically, emotionally and mentally. It may take some time but you will be fine.

 

Someday you will look back to this and be thankful that you got rid of her. I am starting to resent my ex gf and trust me it helps a lot to move on. You deserve better. Goodluck

ChatroomHero Established Member

ChatroomHero

Posted
Posted
It's amusing how these cases are always so similar.

 

I'm now literally Satan so that she can sleep well at night that she was actually not a POS with me.

 

It's funny because she told me that this is exactly what the douche did with her last year when he broke up. He pinned it all on her and made her feel bad. She knew it's not true but nevertheless admitted that it hurt her to be accused of all those things the douche said.

 

And now she does the exact same things to others too.

 

I have to admit that it does hurt a lot. Not necessarily the breakup itself but how she was treating me.

 

But oh well, enjoy the cheating dude who was thowing chairs at you at your own home. It will only get worse from here on.

 

You know, sometimes you have an epiphany. You thought she was mature, abused, her ex controlled her...now I think if you look at her, her former situation makes more sense. You now probably see her problems were of her own making and she was not innocent.

 

It seems to happen a lot when people come from troubled relationships in the past, their actions were at fault too. All of the things they were running away from are all the things they bring to the table in a lot of cases. You are lucky to get away early.

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Rjonny Member

Rjonny

Posted
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Posted (edited)

Wise words, ChatroomHero.

 

The fact that she was in a 4 year relationship with that dude always caused some anxious feelings in me somewhere deep down. I just didn't react on those feelings. I was always wondering why she stood with him for so long, and when I asked she always had some weird excuse that always shifted blame on some unrelated external factor.

 

Now I know what the missing link was. She actually chose that herself. While the cheating and abuse did bother her, at the same time somewhere deep down she did like the mistreatment he received from him.

 

And even now, when the dude dumped her and openly admitted it's because to date other people (from which he got STD's!!), all it takes is an afternoon uninvited visit to her place to get her to go back again.

 

It's amazing how people after managing to escape the sh*t they were in, still willingly choose to go back there knowing full well it will be the same, or worse.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language~T
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Rjonny Member

Rjonny

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LOL

 

So I told her yesterday I will block her etc. but before I actually was able to do that she was again faster with this too.

 

What I noticed today that the douche has also blocked me, which is weird, because we were never friends on Facebook and never had any interactions of any kind.

 

So I look at the douche's profile while not being logged in, and there was a status update today stating "<douche> was feeling blissful with <girl>".

 

Hahah, this is so much fun. Yesterday I was accused of being a paranoid crazy a**hat for even daring to think that she dumped me because of the dude. And now not even 24 hours later she's with him.

 

:)

BAcK Established Member

BAcK

Posted
Posted
LOL

 

So I told her yesterday I will block her etc. but before I actually was able to do that she was again faster with this too.

 

What I noticed today that the douche has also blocked me, which is weird, because we were never friends on Facebook and never had any interactions of any kind.

 

So I look at the douche's profile while not being logged in, and there was a status update today stating "<douche> was feeling blissful with <girl>".

 

Hahah, this is so much fun. Yesterday I was accused of being a paranoid crazy a**hat for even daring to think that she dumped me because of the dude. And now not even 24 hours later she's with him.

 

:)

Haha. It felt like I was reading my own story. Perfect match. As I told you earlier, they would get back together. So she shifted all the blame on you, denied that she left you for that creep and finally blocked you. Typical thing to do. She just does not want to be seen as the bad 'guy' of the story. Now let me tell you something. Sooner or later she will tell you that she never loved you and you were very different. The truth is she has to look for excuses to ghost you and justify her decision to get back with her ex. Do not respond to her in any way whatsoever.

Maintain NC. And do not stalk her or that guy. Get on with your life and look for someone emotionally stable. Being single is fun. Stud time.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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