xyz12345 Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 So a guy I've been talking to says he's slept with 10 or so women. He's 34 and has been in a 6 yrs relationship as well as a 2yr one... Is this number high or normal?
ElizabethIII Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 Totally normal. 10 isnt high at all. I went out with a 34 yo recently and he had never had a relationship longer than 6 months and had slept with 20 people. I thought that was high.
Buddhist Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 Does it matter? Human bodies are not cars where we should check out the odometer to discover how much wear and tear the vehicle has and prepare for replacement parts. This preoccupation with numbers is just a way to fuel prejudice over something that is neither anyone else's business nor a reliable indicator of anything at all. If I tell you it's abnormally low are you going to give him an award or something for low mileage? 7
thecrucible Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 No it's not high in an age where it's normal to have sex after several dates. It doesn't take a long time to get that stage. Then things don't always work out and you can't stay with the person just because your number would get too high otherwise haha. Basically what I'm trying to say is that it can be easier than you think to add on more numbers. And at the age of 34, 10 isn't a lot. What I would be most concerned about is his experience in long-term relationships and his attitude to sex in general. His relationship history will give clues.
Author xyz12345 Posted November 21, 2016 Author Posted November 21, 2016 No it's not high in an age where it's normal to have sex after several dates. It doesn't take a long time to get that stage. Then things don't always work out and you can't stay with the person just because your number would get too high otherwise haha. Basically what I'm trying to say is that it can be easier than you think to add on more numbers. And at the age of 34, 10 isn't a lot. What I would be most concerned about is his experience in long-term relationships and his attitude to sex in general. His relationship history will give clues. Well. he has been in a 6yr relationship so ...that gave me comfort he can be in a long relationship... I ask cause from where I am from its a high number. Just wanted outside feedback on whats 'normal' yah know? Kind of threw me for a loop
TheTraveler Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 Well. he has been in a 6yr relationship so ...that gave me comfort he can be in a long relationship... I ask cause from where I am from its a high number. Just wanted outside feedback on whats 'normal' yah know? Kind of threw me for a loop 10 is a pretty low number for his age imo 2
gorf Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 So a guy I've been talking to says he's slept with 10 or so women. He's 34 and has been in a 6 yrs relationship as well as a 2yr one... Is this number high or normal? The number game. High compared to what and what reasons? High compared to who? Was he a virgin until he was 30, was he a pornstar, how did the relationships pan out aside from the 2 year one. There are lots of variables. Rather than a number, I would be curious why these 10 women came and went. Ya know, what happened. Personally, I would be looking for lengths of relationships, and why they ended. What went on and who ended them. Aside from those answers, as the number goes up, it can mean poor judgement of the guy on different levels.
Poutrew Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 (edited) Does it matter? Human bodies are not cars where we should check out the odometer to discover how much wear and tear the vehicle has and prepare for replacement parts. This preoccupation with numbers is just a way to fuel prejudice over something that is neither anyone else's business nor a reliable indicator of anything at all. If my GF told me this I'd be concerned that her number was astronomical... But seriously, I recently read an article which implied that it does matter. Each of us is a microcosmos of co existing viruses which have embedded themselves irreversibly into our genome. We live with these tiny parasites, completely oblivious to their presence inside our cells, hijacking our DNA and RNA to reproduce. But when we get together with someone else, our tiny universes comingle to an extent. There is evidence that the viral load for sexually active people is proportional to how many sex partners they have had in their lives. Does it matter? Well, its not unusual for people to be their sickest right after sex with someone new... I'd rather not tempt fate, thank you. Edited November 21, 2016 by Poutrew
Buddhist Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 I We live with these tiny parasites, completely oblivious to their presence inside our cells, hijacking our DNA and RNA to reproduce. But when we get together with someone else, our tiny universes comingle to an extent. There is evidence that the viral load for sexually active people is proportional to how many sex partners they have had in their lives. Does it matter? Well, its not unusual for people to be their sickest right after sex with someone new... I'd rather not tempt fate, thank you. You tempt fate every time you eat out, touch a pedestrian crossing button and use a public computer. I worked in an industry that enabled me to witness the intimate habits of the general population (not by choice mind you, circumstance) and I hate to break it to you. But anything not nailed down in the sanctity of your own home is a veritable petri dish of foreign, objects, bacteria and virus'. I realised after 10yrs on the job that the simple act of washing ones hands properly after being in the toilet is a rare habit of about 1% of the population. If that's you, pat yourself on the back for being in the top percentile for something. 2
Grey40 Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 The only real answer is, is it too high for YOU. Don't Give up on him Just because a majority of people say "yes, it's too high". however, a more reasonable answer I can give is that it's not that big of a deal, especially if the majority of those women were years ago. Most of them were probably in college. What you SHOULD be more concerned with is whether or not he still is sleeping with other people or not, or whether these people were more recent. That being said, a 6 year relationship is a long time. I wouldn't be surprised if the majority of these women he slept with came after that breakup. Most guys (can't speak for women) would most certainly play the field after being tied down for that long. It's just natural. No one wants to get involved in another long kind of committed thing when they just dealt with 6 years of it. I wouldn't worry about it.
elaine567 Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 So a guy I've been talking to says he's slept with 10 or so women. He's 34 and has been in a 6 yrs relationship as well as a 2yr one... Is this number high or normal? As you have no way of verifying it, "the number" is in fact meaningless. He may only have slept with the one girl he spent 6 years with, and has added on a few to give himself credibility or he may have slept with hundreds and decided you are a low number kind of girl so offered the 10 but qualified it with "or so" ie 10 plus 300... or he may be telling the truth. Who knows? Why did the "numbers" topic come up? I feel it is usually a topic best avoided as few are really happy with the answer, whatever it is. Too low - What is wrong with him/her? Is he/she lying? Too high, - people get insecure and "judgemental". Just right - too good to be true, is he/she playing me? No win situation. 1
joseb Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 Who cares? Why would you even ask this? Fwiw, I would say its kinda low (if true) 1
BluesPower Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 Who cares... I had a bass player in one of my primary bands that was a real pretty boy. Super nice guy. He has slept with way over a 1000 women. He was single for a long time and he slept with every woman that came after him. He settled down eventually, and married a wonderful woman, has two kids and he is just a regular guy. Numbers mean nothing... 1
PogoStick Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 If my GF told me this I'd be concerned that her number was astronomical... But seriously, I recently read an article which implied that it does matter. Each of us is a microcosmos of co existing viruses which have embedded themselves irreversibly into our genome. We live with these tiny parasites, completely oblivious to their presence inside our cells, hijacking our DNA and RNA to reproduce. But when we get together with someone else, our tiny universes comingle to an extent. There is evidence that the viral load for sexually active people is proportional to how many sex partners they have had in their lives. Does it matter? Well, its not unusual for people to be their sickest right after sex with someone new... I'd rather not tempt fate, thank you. It would be best if you stop breathing. Do you know how many viruses are in the air? Or at least create your own bubble boy home and have all necessities sterilized when they are delivered.
Recommended Posts