HeartinPain Posted November 20, 2016 Posted November 20, 2016 I met this guy through friends and I knew he was attracted to me, but at the time I was focused on someone else. He later went to see someone else for near a year and they did not work out. Few months later, we had a falling out where we had a drunken public argument. He was mad at me for 2-3 months where whenever we saw each other he would not speak to me. One drunken night I was so fed up that I just confronted him about it and he said he wasn't mad at me anymore and we ended up making out. He later asked me out on a date and it went well. He said he wanted to pursue it, but take it slow because he is really busy with work. We text a bit here and there and then he just goes silent. Now, 3 months after he ghosts on me I hear he is dating a few girls through the grapevine. We see each other at a concert with our friends and one of our mutual friends who he is supposedly talking to went as well. There didn't seem to be any chemistry there from when I observed their interaction. When he greeted me he just touched my leg and said 'long time no see' and he laughs.. probably to break the ice. Later that night he ends up hugging me and kissing me on the neck and leaves to go dance with our mutual friend he is supposedly talking to. This kind of upsets me as I feel he is just playing hot and cold with me. At the end of the night I go sit in the back of the car by myself and he asks if I want him to sit in back with me and I say 'im good .you should sit in front' so he does and he then turns around and asks if im good again while putting his hand on my leg again which I move away. I did really like him, but I'm incredibly hurt with him ghosting me and pretending everything is fine between us when its not. The last 3 months I contemplated in contacting him to clear the air, but I felt his lack of action spoke volumes and he would probably just lie to me to not hurt my feelings. Did I do the right thing? Did I destroy any chance I may have had by being incredibly cold to him? What is his deal?
Buddhist Posted November 20, 2016 Posted November 20, 2016 His deal is you are good enough to screw and not good enough to be in a relationship with. Up to you whether you want to go there or not. Playing pissed off to get a reaction won't work, not the way you think it will anyway. TBH whenever someone starts a thread with 'drunken this and that' I immediately know where this is heading. Basically two people who fancy each other enough for sex but to enough for anything else. 2
Author HeartinPain Posted November 20, 2016 Author Posted November 20, 2016 His deal is you are good enough to screw and not good enough to be in a relationship with. Up to you whether you want to go there or not. Playing pissed off to get a reaction won't work, not the way you think it will anyway. TBH whenever someone starts a thread with 'drunken this and that' I immediately know where this is heading. Basically two people who fancy each other enough for sex but to enough for anything else. Thanks for your honesty. Inhibitions are always lowered when liquid courage is involved. Probably something I need to take better control of. My intention was not to be pissed off, but rather guarded especially since I thought he wouldn't have gone about hurting me the way he did because we are in the same friendship circle. I felt played because I told him how I felt and in return I felt he wasn't honest with me.
MarkIVSteel Posted November 20, 2016 Posted November 20, 2016 He probably feels you're playing hot and cold with him too
ElizabethIII Posted November 20, 2016 Posted November 20, 2016 Ive had someone crop up after not seeing them for 3 months. I am annoyed with his behavior but not sure if I should say anything.
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