Sweetfish Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 You should stay with your wife and daughter. The damage has been done... but if you walk from your daughter at that age I think your looking for maximum damage...these years of a child are highly critical. Erika... to be honest.. you know her now, but what does the future holds. Your wife got her act together for the better of the family and marruage. These speaks volumes. You need to return the favor. 1
Mr. Lucky Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 Your wife got her act together for the better of the family and marruage. These speaks volumes. You need to return the favor. Is he doing her a favor by returning, especially out of obligation? Spouse or AP, not sure how either would or could trust the AP going forward given his focus on his own happiness and outcome. Saying he loves both is like saying he loves neither... Mr. Lucky 2
eightytwenty Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 First.... I would decide who to be with. You left your wife, found someone new, that you "love". Which relationship is stronger? Who do you feel that you want to be with? Decide... If you decide to be with your wife, she needs to understand you will be helping the other girl, she has the baby and after esp in the first few months (they are the hardest). Do NOT go absent during the pregnancy and after. You need to be the supportive father/friend to her. That stress being put on your child from her being alone won't help. I could only think of the hurt that poor girl will go through. Be there, be supportive, and be a father. After she has the baby, she will needs breaks, either you need to be there or take the baby home (which I doubt because she'll be breastfeeding or not wanting to be away from her child) If you and your wife need to sleep on her couch do it!! Support her financially atleast half until she is able to go back to work. The baby will needs things as you know. If you go with the pregnant girlfriend then you need to get your wife to understand that you want a relationship with the daughter and make sure to be the best Dad. They can tell around 12 weeks, but they usually say it's too early to be 100%... Usually they'll do a sono to make sure she's pregnant, then one at 20 weeks when they'll tell you gender and make sure everything is good.. question that and make sure she IS pregnant. They do blood testing at 12 weeks and you can get the results of gender then, so maybe she does. Get a paternity test when the baby is born... If it was me, I wouldn't stay with the wife. The wife can change her tune, but will she stay that way? If you decide you can't flip flop on these women. Good luck and keep posting.
Sweetfish Posted November 23, 2016 Posted November 23, 2016 Is he doing her a favor by returning, especially out of obligation? Spouse or AP, not sure how either would or could trust the AP going forward given his focus on his own happiness and outcome. Saying he loves both is like saying he loves neither... Mr. Lucky OP knows his wife over 7 years and Erika for a couple months? I think if he leaves the wife the karma will be much greater. Ppl always click the first couple years and mirror each other. He has an obligation... to him self, his daughter, and wife. The guy here needs slack.. he screwed up big time... but the wife pushed him away.. looks the the OP has to be the bread winner and father/mother and tried for years to fix the marriage. Looks like the husband checked out and didn't think the wife would change. But ironically is making efforts. The real question is what would the OP would have done if Erika wasn't pregrant? You he go back to his wife and end the relationship? That's where you answers lay
Mr. Lucky Posted November 24, 2016 Posted November 24, 2016 The guy here needs slack.. He got some slack from his wife when she took him back after his initial affair. Her reward? He lied to her about the affair being over and continued to see - and eventually impregnate - his AP. If the OP did indeed deserve a second chance, that card has been played. Hard to suggest his wife sign up for Act 3... Mr. Lucky 2
Author Lumberjack923 Posted November 26, 2016 Author Posted November 26, 2016 I am here...interesting thoughts from all of you ...Thanksgiving was tough not seeing my daughter
Hopefulandinlove Posted November 28, 2016 Posted November 28, 2016 My personal thoughts are if your wife is willing to make changes (which she has) and you still love her (which you said you do) than you should try to make it work for your daughters sake. I hate to sound awful about the unborn baby, but that child doesn't know life with their parents together. Your daughter does. If you don't try to make it work for her sake, than what else could matter more?
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