heartbroken and hopeless

[jessica34]

Hi guys,

Im a 34 year old woman and I am divorced. About 5 years ago, I was still married and moved to a far away city with my husband. About a year after we got there and settled in somewhat, we split. It was amicable and mutual. I decided to stay and not move back and instead, just get out on my own and start a new life. So I did. I got a job, an apartment and moved on.

 

Two years ago, I met someone. I fell head over heels in love with this man, more so than I ever was with my exhusband. At first (of course) it was wonderful. He was so good to me and made me feel alive. Well he decided I should move into an apartment right next door to his. So I did, it was a win win. I could make him happy by giving him what he wanted and get to see him every day. At first it was a blast and he quickly became my best friend also. Months passed and he started throwing red flags. I discovered his kids mother did not want him to be with me.

 

He became very secretive with his phone. And eventually, he broke up with me, his reason being that his babys mother said he had to or he couldnt see his kids. I was devistated. A month went by and I barely saw him in passing and I sank into a deep depression. After another few weeks, he saw me outside and said he missed his friend. I told him I missed him too and one thing led to another. We had sex, and were back in each other's lives. I felt like a kid on Christmas. I had life inside me again. Well, I had become so depressed from the breakup,

 

I found out it affected my work performance more than I thought and I got fired. Afte this happened, he said I could move in with him. So, of course, I did. That's when the **** hit the fan. I lived with him about 5 months. That's when the arguments started really bad and he started hitting me. First he would just punch me in my chest, then he started choking me and it just got worse and worse. He became even more secretive with his phone, became distant and started working out. He got a new job. I thought he was cheating, so I would constantly be upset and quiet and easily hurt. Or maybe it's that he was also very verbally abusive. But then I would out of hurt say something to piss him off and that would begin the cycle.

 

But I never called the police on him, I always excused what he did. Afterall, I shouldnt have started a fight. Well, a week ago he came home late, and I had drank a little before he got there. I immediately told him I knew he had something going on and that it was killing me. He of course flipped out and choked me til I couldn't breathe. I got away from him and ran out of the house with no pants on. I got some sense, went back, and he pulled a fistful of my hair out of my head. It was bleeding. I lost it. I snapped. I didnt touch him, but I said some really hateful, awful things.

 

He kicked me out. He threw all my stuff outside. He called the police on me!!! Told them I was drunk and hi (he knows I don't do drugs) and if I returned, he would put me in jail. I tried to tell the police what he had been doing to me. They believed him cause I had been drinking. I had to sleep in the woods that night. He knew I had nowhere to go, no money, and im not from here. The next morning, I got ahold of a girl I had worked with. She came and got me and took me to get my stuff that was outside. Then she brought me to a homeless shelter.

 

I have tried repeatedly to call and text him. I text him and beg him to let me come back but I get no answer. He only answered my call one time and he said I ****ed it all up. That I disrespected him too bad to come back and he wouldnt even give me a ride.

 

So overnight, I lost everything. I miss him. I miss being comfortable. How can he discard me so easily? He was my best friend. And he doesn't care if I live or die. Im so hurt I wonder will I ever be the same. I

 

m still at the shelter and im hopeless. Please help, I need advice. Thanks all

Edited November 20, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[stillafool]

Darling you are blessed to be away from him. If you go back to him you would be giving him permission to beat you up whenever he feels like it. He will hurt you so much worst than he already has. Where are your parents or siblings? Call one of them for help but whatever you do do not go back to him. He doesn't love you or want you which is a good thing if you ask me. Raise your self esteem and love yourself more than him. I'm so sorry you are going through this. You can post here as much as possible.

[Buddhist]

Best friends don't punch you in the chest and throw you onto the street. Stop telling yourself the story he is your best friend, because he's not even a friend. He's an enemy.

 

Like it or not you are where you are. You are jobless, homes less and depressed. Your priorities need to be...

 

- Call your family, tell them where you are and your life situation, they may help.

- Get a job. Any job.

- Get somewhere to live.

- Work on your depression.

 

Delete this guys number from your phone, do not contact him ever again. He beat you, and you failed to report that to the police which enabled him to report you with his own rep clean. Take responsibility for your part in this which was....staying with someone who beat you and not reporting him to the police. Pick yourself up and move on.

 

I'm sorry, but there is no other option for you right now.

[Been]

A man should never beat on a woman no matter what.

And a man that PUNCHES a woman is not a man.

You don't have any family you could stay with?

[jessica34]

Thanks for the feedback. I dont really have much family. No parents, but I do have a sister that is unable to help at the moment. The shelter I am at said they can help me find work. So, right now I dont have many options. I know it is wrong for him to hit me you guys, and maybe this is the best thing for me. But even a guy like him I thought would help me when I got nowhere else to go. That's the hardest part is knowing that he could help me but wont. It makes it harder. I really appreciate the feedback.

[stillafool]

It's a blessing he isn't helping you. The shelter can help you more than he can. They've already got you lined up for a job. He couldn't nor wouldn't care enough to do that. You are on the right track at that shelter and once you get a job it will raise your self esteem. You don't have kids, thank God so you can save your money, get your own place and really make something of yourself. Then you will meet a man who respects and loves you. That other guy hates you, remember that.

[stillafool]

Why do you have 4 of the same thread? If you want more people to answer you you will have to participate.

[jessica34]

Thanks for the feedback. I dont really have much family. No parents, but I do have a sister that is unable to help at the moment. The shelter I am at said they can help me find work. So, right now I dont have many options. I know it is wrong for him to hit me you guys, and maybe this is the best thing for me. But even a guy like him I thought would help me when I got nowhere else to go. That's the hardest part is knowing that he could help me but wont. It makes it harder. I really appreciate the feedback.

[jessica34]

Not sure why keeps posting the same thing, def didn't mean to