CommittedToThis Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 I'm over a year out of a nine-year "interaction" with an undiagnosed narcissistic or borderline personality disordered woman. After nine years I got tired of the bull***** and walked and I've never been better. Took me a year but finally it all makes sense and I have my closure: in her words, "it was all fake." I can live with that. Here's the thing: X claims I was morbidly, delusionally jealous over the nine year interaction and that she treated me like crap aka abused me because she was "angry because I didn't believe her when she said she never cheated on me." Yet everytime there'd be a fight, X would scream at me, "I'M GONNA GO F*CK SOMEONE!" X is telling me I am not to believe what she says. "Just because I told you I was going to cheat on you doesn't mean I did." I know she cheated on me, she admitted as much (you should hear the recording -- 4 minutes of her beating around the bush, making excuses, before finally saying, "Yes, I cheated on you, I'm sorry".) I caught her in inappropriate situations on dozens of occasions, but I never snooped or went all private detective on her to actually track her moves and bust her. Who needs that? Anyway, that's my PD relationship in a nutshell: X verbally and physically abused me for nine years because I chose to believe her when she told me she was going to cheat on me. Anyone else here ever have an X who said similar things? Mine said it constantly, but I never have to hear it again LOL.
dreamingoftigers Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 Husband had weird stuff like that. Major fear of being "controlled" which actually ended up controlling his life. I found the whole thing really weird. He would disappear and run away to other cities. I would get accused of stuff I didn't say, even after there was full admission that I didn't say it. And if I brought up stuff he did say I would be told I was "using his words against him." But now that he's been sober and through detox etc, he pretty much says he was totally out if control during that period and would have done anything to defend his addiction. 1
Bromeo Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 Dewd, I'm new around here, but every time my ex found something she didn't like, she disappeared for a month or so at a time. I chased her back. Every. Time. 3 times total over 18 months. This time I didn't. NC 3 weeks after burned out chasing. Felt pretty good today after a 6 mile run in the cold. You don't need or deserve it. Emotions are a beeyotch, no? Just don't date till you are ready. If you aren't you are only hurting and leading someone else on.
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