Being ignored and I hate it!

[Stacksofjacks]

I was hanging out with someone who I met through mutual friends. We had an amazing time together but he was just out of a four year relationship, he couldn't add me on Facebook as he didn't want to hurt his ex. I bought him groceries and helped him out when he was broke. He was still talking to his ex and met up with her and wouldn't stop talking about her. I called it off, I didn't want to I just didn't want to get hurt down the line, he didn't want to stop hanging out and apologised if he made me feel awkward and he really likes me, I tell him I like him too but he needs to sort his head out. he agreeded saying his head is a mess and he needs Time to sort himself out. Had nice conversation as friends.

Theness than a week later he was going to take a tinder date to my friends gig, I told him what he was planning to do wasn't nice and I wouldn't be heading out.

He didn't head out and didn't reply and ghosted me.

He's still ignoring me I tried to offer an olive branch and he ignored me. It's made things awkward in our friend group. My best friend doesn't want to hangout with him because she thinks he's a coward, he's best friends with her boyfriend.

He's still with this girl, but hasn't added her on fb and I feel hurt that he's ignoring me after everything, I just want a normal conversation showing we can be civil when we do see each other.

[spiderowl]

He's just out a four-year relationship. His head is a mess. He doesn't know how to treat you or anyone else at the moment. I doubt the tinder date girl will fare any better. Please don't try to get this guy to talk to you or be part of your life, he is just going to use women he meets for a while until he sorts himself out.

 

If you go to a lot of trouble for a guy, he will not appreciate you more. It won't make him fall in love with you - that is a whole other dynamic.

[Stacksofjacks]

Yea I see where you are coming from, I didn't want to finish things and I do really him. I just thought. He had a bit more respect than telling me he liked me then taking this girl somewhere I was going to be. I messaged him this before blocking him, I'd asked how he was keeping, he ignored it so I said

Dude I just don't want things to be awkward over Christmas, if you are out for (friends) gigs, ignore me all you want, but all it shows is how little respect you had for me, I was nice when you were down, I tried to listen to your problems and give advice. I offered to be a friend. What you did at (friends) gig wasn't nice and what you are doing now is worse, ignoring someone isn't the mature way to go about things. But it doesn't matter now.

Then blocked him, I've deleted his number as well I just didn't want Christmas withall the friends out together to be awkward

[NopeNah]

Not sure what you're asking? He's ignoring you=He doesn't want to talk to you. Leave it/him alone and get on with 'things'.

[Been]

At this point all you would be is a rebound to this person. The fact he's still talking to her is all you need to know.

[Stacksofjacks]

So you do think I was right in ending things when I did, is he still rebounding? Is that why he moved on so fast?

[basil67]

I have to say that if you break up with someone, you don't get the right to complain or be hurt if they bring someone else out with them.....especially as it sounds very much like he wasn't serious with either you or this new girl. Perhaps it would be different if the two of you had had a serious commitment, but you didn't.

 

If you want a normal conversation with him, instead of handing an olive branch, try a sincere apology.

 

Anyway, my guess is that his main plan now is to just have casual fun with different girls.

[Stacksofjacks]

But apologise for what? He knew I liked him and understood why I wanted to take a step back, taking a tinder date somewhere he knew I was going to be and ignoring me when we have such close friends in common that it's awkward. I honestly don't know what I have to apologise for? If anything he needs to apologise.

[ManyDissapoint]

This guy is using people as bandaids. I would be the bigger person and not ignore him and set back aright your social circle. Forget about dating him

[Stacksofjacks]

That's all I wanted, things weren't awkward until less than a week after liking me and him knowing I liked him he took a random girl somewhere he knew I was going to be, that's caused a fallout with some thinking it's a dick move. He could have gone anywhere all this crap started with him trying to go there, after that I told him to do what he needs to make himself happy :/ I've tried for things not to be awkward. I guess it's his decision to do what he did but it was hurtful

[Been]

You did the right thing. Someone talks about an ex it means he/she isn't over that person and you will be prone to either the ex entering the picture or them trying to stay in contact with ex.

Case in point:I dated this woman. She brought up her ex once:stated he was a drunk and she was glad they broke up.

Fast forward 2 months. We have begun to get serious. I recieve a text from her stating she had dinner with her ex to tell him to stop contacting her. Tells him she's seeing me. Two thoughts cross my mind:1.i was under the impression that she wasn't in contact with her ex and 2. Why would you have dinner with him when all you had to do was call him tell him to stop contacting you and then block him.

Fast forward week latter. At her place. She's showing me pictures on her lab top.

Family,friends etc. She gets up to do something tells me to continue looking at pictures so I do. I scroll and click on a file that says "him". It's her ex. So of course I click on it.must be HUNDREDS of pictures. First picture I see?The two of them at the "good bye" dinner. She comes back in the room at this point. I show her the picture. She gets nervous. I play it cool. I ask when they broke up. She tells me a WEEK before she started seeing me. I tell her I have to go. I can't see her anymore-she starts crying stating she's done with him etc. I tell her no your not and get up and leave. 2 weeks latter I'm at a bar. In she walks in with her ex boyfriend.

See if you had continued to see him you would have been prone to either him running back to her or somehow her entering the picture again. He just acted like a jerk to you when you basically called him out on it. He wants to be nasty to you?Ignore him. When your with the group of friends be polite but keep your distance.

[basil67]

But apologise for what? He knew I liked him and understood why I wanted to take a step back, taking a tinder date somewhere he knew I was going to be and ignoring me when we have such close friends in common that it's awkward. I honestly don't know what I have to apologise for? If anything he needs to apologise.

 

Apologise for not being OK with him moving on after you dumped him. You can't dump a person and expect them to not move on. It's not wrong of him to get mad at you for trying to put limitations on his behaviour after you've already ended it.

[Stacksofjacks]

I never said that, I told him he was single and have every right to move on, but he didn't need to go on a date with her, less than a week after saying he liked me and us agreeing he needed to sort his head out, somewhere he knew I was going to go. He could have gone anywhere, that was my only problem that was hurtful, he has every right to do what he wants and date who he wants, but taking her out with me and all our friends isn't right, maybe a month or two down the line but not less than a week after saying he didn't want to stop hanging out with me. He knows my feelings for him, it just shows how little he cares about my feelings

[kidm]

I never said that, I told him he was single and have every right to move on, but he didn't need to go on a date with her, less than a week after saying he liked me and us agreeing he needed to sort his head out, somewhere he knew I was going to go. He could have gone anywhere, that was my only problem that was hurtful, he has every right to do what he wants and date who he wants, but taking her out with me and all our friends isn't right, maybe a month or two down the line but not less than a week after saying he didn't want to stop hanging out with me. He knows my feelings for him, it just shows how little he cares about my feelings

 

He can do whatever he wants after you and him were over. What you're saying is that he could only move on when you say so and its OK with you. You can't dictate what someone does when he is not your boyfriend. Yes it was insensitive of him to bring another girl around as he knew you liked him but after a long term relationship ended, I am guessing he is looking out for numero uno. I am sorry to say but you sound like a little bit of drama queen- making a mountain out of a molehill. Perhaps thats why he is ignoring you. Who needs all this grief?

[Stacksofjacks]

I'm not a drama queen our friends aren't happy with him doing this either and some want to stop hanging out with him, he can look out for himself all he wants but he should be more thoughtful about what his actions are going to entail, just because we are no longer together. I expected him to move on and keep dating I just didn't think he would be as nasty to rub it in my face.

[kidm]

I'm not a drama queen our friends aren't happy with him doing this either and some want to stop hanging out with him, he can look out for himself all he wants but he should be more thoughtful about what his actions are going to entail, just because we are no longer together. I expected him to move on and keep dating I just didn't think he would be as nasty to rub it in my face.

 

You and your group of friends must be teenagers or in your early 20s. It all sounds immature frankly. In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter and doesn't sound like he is bothered about what you or the group of friends think. He is living his life. As I said before, he could have approached things differently but what's done is done. Stop checking his Facebook and move on and find a guy who will treat you how you want to be treated. That's the best "revenge."

[Stacksofjacks]

I've blocked him on fb and he is 31, his own best friend said what he was doing was awkward, and he's the boyfriend of my best friend, and now things are all gone to ****, we are going to hang out over Xmas more than likely, and how can you sit and be friendly to someone who thinks that little of you?

[ElizabethIII]

So you do think I was right in ending things when I did, is he still rebounding? Is that why he moved on so fast?

 

There was nothing to end between the two of you. He wasnt your boyfriend. You hung out and didnt date. You chose to buy him stuff when he was broke and I guess he never paid you back or did anything nice for you: too busy worrying about what his ex thinks.

 

He is dating other women from Tinder and i cant honestly believe you're surprised. You werent anything to him and he never acted as if you were or told you that you were.

 

He is under no obligation to ever speak to you again as he was never your bf and isnt even an ex.

 

Just let him go. You called it off even though it doesnt seem like there was much to end anyway. Now he doesnt want to talk and is with someone else. When you choose to stop seeing someone for whatever reason, then you cant really complain they arent talking to you now.

 

I am also going to tell you this as gently as possible: the title of your thread is

I asked this earlier and only go one reply, I'm being ignored and it really hurts

 

This is public forum and no one is under any obligation to reply at all, they are not ignoring you, they just didn't comment, or didn't feel they had anything constructive to add. You probably only got one reply as there is nothing to tell you. He doesn't have to talk you.

 

Wanting contact from him even though you called it off, saying you are being ignored and it really hurts when strangers on an anonymous fourm dont reply, you are coming across as very needy. That is something you need to work on.

Edited November 20, 2016 by ElizabethIII
typo

[Stacksofjacks]

It is if you've the same group of friends, I don't expect him to talk to me often, i just tried to make things civil as over Xmas it's a sure thing we will see each other.i can't pretned to be nice to someone who clearly thinks so little of me. That's why it hurts, that's why I'm stressing out.

[Stacksofjacks]

What do you think of the whole, not adding people on fb so he won't hurt his ex?

[ElizabethIII]

It is if you've the same group of friends, I don't expect him to talk to me often, i just tried to make things civil as over Xmas it's a sure thing we will see each other.i can't pretned to be nice to someone who clearly thinks so little of me. That's why it hurts, that's why I'm stressing out.

 

You called it off. He doesn't have to talk to you.

[ElizabethIII]

What do you think of the whole, not adding people on fb so he won't hurt his ex?

 

Who cares.

 

You aren't with him.

 

It could be a lie. He perhaps doesn't want any women he is seeing on his Facebook maybe as he is seeing alot of people and they would all find out. Imagine all these women checking in places on facebook and tagging him and all the others seeing it.

 

The ex thing could be a lie.

Edited November 20, 2016 by ElizabethIII

[Stacksofjacks]

I don't think it is, especially with the whole he's still in contact with her and has met up with her and her family.

I do know him, fair enough what he did surprised me, but putting him down as this complete stranger and womaniser is wrong.

What he did to me wasn't nice, i can't change my feelings for him, but I think he's going to keep bouncing from girl to girl until he is forced to deal with his break up properly. You don't just get out of a four year relationship and jump into a couple small new ones.

You haven't spoke to him or listened to him talk about his ex, hence why I had to finish with him and offered to support him through it. I can't be with someone who is talking about his ex, meeting his ex, still in contact with his ex and actually showed me pictures of him and his ex, no matter how much I like him, or how happy he made me, his head wasn't right.

Everyone is saying making out it was a bad thing that I finished things, but look how hurt I am now from it, how could I have kept going. As for who cares I do, I do care about him.

[ElizabethIII]

Well you dumped him and he is dating others. He is under no obligation to talk to you. It doesnt sound like there was much to end.

 

Either you keep writing these long posts detailing the hurt and your care for him or you let it go.

 

He isnt wasting his life thinking about you.

 

You go and date others....

Edited November 20, 2016 by ElizabethIII

[Stacksofjacks]

No he's wasting his time thinking of his ex. I was nice to him I bought him groceries when he asked me to I did everything I could to help him, and I know people think I'm juvenile for it but that's why my friends don't like him. I can date who ever I want but I like him, he's with someone else and is using her and you know what he is thinking of me, so what your telling me is that I should of sat there and been ok with him meeting up and talking to and about his long term ex.....you thought I got upset about people not responding to my question.....you can't read situations properly