Philosopher Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 I know a lot of people lead very busy lives these days, however sometimes with some women it feels like travelling to the moon is easier than finding a time we are both free for a date. Usually work or prior social engagements will be the culprit for their lack of time. Often when they do accept a date they will only accept it if it is right next to where they live. The date either ends up happening several weeks after it was first suggested after finding that elusive date when we are both free or I give up entirely and the date never happens. The most recent example of this occurred in the past week. I went on a date with her last weekend which seemed to go well, however she ended it rather quickly saying she had work to do, but said it would be nice to meet again. A couple of days later I texted her suggesting that we meet up one evening on the following weekend. She said she was meeting friends on each of the evenings, but she did suggest Saturday afternoon instead. I told her I was busy that Saturday so I suggested Sunday lunchtime instead. She rebuffed that one saying she had to prepare for work the next day and suggested doing it another week. Next I suggested two evenings next week, likewise she used refused, citing work commitments and did not offer any alternative. As a result I gave up trying to arrange a second date with her. The second recent example I have of this occurring is from a couple of months ago. I exchanged phone numbers with a girl on OkCupid. I suggested first meeting up during the forthcoming weekend, however she said was busy all weekend and said due to work commitments the earliest she could meet up was in two and half weeks time. I was going on holiday a few days after her suggested day, so instead I said it would be better to meet after the holiday, though I was tempted not to bother at all with the date. A date did finally occur with this girl, but not until a month after I first suggested it. I have always had the view that if you are really keen on someone you will make time for a date, perhaps by postponing stuff that is important but can be put off for another time. Therefore I have usually felt that women whom constantly say they are busy could in fact find some time for a date and their being busy is a way of saying they are not interested, but they do not want to say it out loud. That said I generally do not lead that busy a life so perhaps I do not realise that some women genuinely are so busy that it really is a struggle to find even an hour or two for a date. What are people's opinions on this. Is it that they genuinely are busy, or that they are not interested?
MarkIVSteel Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 When a woman is attracted enough, she will make time. Plain and simple. 3
Emilia Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 I think that it's so much better to get dates with people you meet in real life. Online you are just another username. 1
leogirl876 Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 Very true, I'm very busy, I work and am in grad school, but I still make time for men I really wanna see. For the men that I've been "meh" about, it's taken a couple weeks to schedule a date with me. So we make time for people we want, and don't for people we don't. 2
ElizabethIII Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 It depends what you mean by interested. How much interest do you want from someone you havent yet met? When you're just an online user name. What do I care about them at this point? If they are nice to me and make an effort to speak to me and ask me things about myself and ask me out then ok, I'll make the time. Or match online, exchange a couple of messages, guy doesnt do much other than say wanna meet up. Meh. Wont go out of my way to meet him.
BaileyB Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 Absolutely true. I often thought, how will I find the time to date/have a relationship with work and all the other things in my life. And now, after meeting a wonderful man, it has never been a problem... If she is really interested, she will make the time. 2
oldshirt Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 If Channing Tatum asked her out, what would she do? 1
Author Philosopher Posted November 19, 2016 Author Posted November 19, 2016 It depends what you mean by interested. How much interest do you want from someone you havent yet met? When you're just an online user name. What do I care about them at this point? If they are nice to me and make an effort to speak to me and ask me things about myself and ask me out then ok, I'll make the time. Or match online, exchange a couple of messages, guy doesnt do much other than say wanna meet up. Meh. Wont go out of my way to meet him. Obviously when you haven't met yet you can't expect too much, I wouldn't expect them to cancel existing plans just to go on a date with someone who is still essentially a stranger. However I would expect them to at least show some enthusiasm for meeting up, such as by not endlessly putting off the date until some distant future date and be willing to travel at least a short distance rather than only wanting to meet if it is right next to where they live.
smackie9 Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 With online dating, everyone will rather wait for the ultimate hottie, you know what I mean? If they don't have time, then why the hell are they even on there? It's pointless UNLESS they are waiting for that hottie to show up. If getting a date is like pulling hens teeth, you need to change your game. These woman don't have a real interest in you.
ElizabethIII Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 Obviously when you haven't met yet you can't expect too much, I wouldn't expect them to cancel existing plans just to go on a date with someone who is still essentially a stranger. However I would expect them to at least show some enthusiasm for meeting up, such as by not endlessly putting off the date until some distant future date and be willing to travel at least a short distance rather than only wanting to meet if it is right next to where they live. But you have to at least do something to make them interested even if you meet online. The guys I have been the most wiling to meet with have been the ones that done this: Send me a message very soon after we match and talk to me. Ask me things about myself, make nice comments about my photographs and show a genuine interest in knowing things about me and I do the same with them: ask them things, etc. Then ask, would you like to meet sometime. With those circumstances, I am very likely to say yes. The ones I am most likely to say not to: match and then without hardly any conversation, they ask if want to meet up quite haphazardly. maybe that person who didnt want to travel didnt have a car, isnt able to travel, public transport not good? It may not mean she is being selfish.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 My first response was, 'well, duh, of course!' But then I took a moment to think... As some others have eluded, with online dating, everyone has become an option to be discarded. There are those who are certainly interested in dating you, but may not b/c they are currently dating someone else. So, I guess my response would be....NO, not necessarily. As myself as an example, I am 'interested' or 'keen' on a few profiles online, but will only date one at a time. Once I find the person to work with, the others are put on hold temporarily, indefinitely, or permanently.
phineas Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 When a woman is attracted enough, she will make time. Plain and simple. This. Women will blow off family and friends to be with a guy they want. They make time because they are afraid the man might meet someone else and they will miss their chance. If she is meh about meeting you she don't care.
mortensorchid Posted November 20, 2016 Posted November 20, 2016 This woman is not interested in you. You are asking in plenty of time rather than waiting for an hour or so before you want to go out, she has enough time to look into the future for a free evening for you. You don't have to be Chris Hemsworth or Brad Pitt, she's just not interested in you. I would have suggested another time I was available for you to see if we can coordinate things. Move on.
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