Sarina Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 I've been with my boyfriend for more than two years and we have had our ups and downs fighting but somehow i end up always trying to work problems out. He never apologizes for things that we all know he did wrong. And i know in his past relationships he's cheated before, even the one before one, he broke up with the girl to be with me and was seeing me before he broke up with her. He didn't tell me until we were in Bali on vacation that my family invited him to. I was furious. And still am. I felt bad but i also was happy he chose me. But somewhere in my mind i always thought that "once a cheater, always a cheater". I'm scared to let go. When i truly feel that I've fallen in love, i become obsessed and emotionally get attached to them. I see him EVERY SINGLE DAY! well...99 percent of the time. I don't know how to distance myself. If i don't see him every day i fell bad and just aren't happy. He never really invites me to go drink or play pool with his friends or anything, only when he has family occasions which his parents ask me to. I have boughten him many things, and sometimes i'd love something in return but he argues and tells me not to buy him things then. But it would be nice if I would just receive some flowers, for those two years together....and never once have i received a necklace or flowers or anything that materialistic that i can be proud of and show people "yes. my man got me this. I love him and he loves me." lol...never going to happen. He makes plans without me now more than ever and disappears with no phone calls or text. Please help me and tell me some ideas on how to move on. Because honestly. I don't need this **** (literally) in my life.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 Talk to him. Openly. Don't get accusatory or angry. Ask him if he still wants to be in this relationship. You can tell him that you have noticed him pulling away and you would like to know why. Then be prepared to really listen to his answers. If you see him every single day, he may be feeling smothered. I can see why he wants time alone with friends or family. If you two are always together, it's too much. He needs time to do his own thing too. Becoming "obsessed" with someone isn't healthy, and I have a feeling the relationship has become tedious instead of a pleasure for him. What do you do in your free time, apart from him? 2
Author Sarina Posted November 19, 2016 Author Posted November 19, 2016 For fun usually I go fishing or go play pool with my girlfriend or just study at school with other friends (i honestly have no life). Well he always ask me to come to his house. He doesn't really and never really made an effort to come to mine. He ALWAYS complain that it costs too much gas (he doesn't use his bronco) and it concerns me. I should've taken the hint long ago but I really didn't want to notice or deal with it. And i have confronted him about these issues before but he always says that I'm overthinking or over reacting and just walks away whenever i start to cry.
mikeylo Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 Since cheating is his lifestyle then you expecting him to stay faithful to you is far fetched. 1
BluesPower Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 Sarina...He has another GF... Those times that he takes off with no call or text, yeah, he is with his other girl. And even if he was not cheating, why would you want to be with him? Have you had many relationships? The sex cannot be that great for you to accept this kind of abuse. I think you may have some issues with abandonment or something. Even if you don't, you need to get away from this guy. He is treating you so poorly. You really need to move on. 1
Sweetfish Posted November 19, 2016 Posted November 19, 2016 When he was with you and still with his ex. How did he behave. Did he not text her or say he was somewhere else.? Your answer is there.
Author Sarina Posted November 20, 2016 Author Posted November 20, 2016 Hi guys, thank you all very much for your feedbacks. He ended up breaking up with me in the weirdest way with me today. He said "i don't like how committed you are, how you want to get married and have kids in the future with me. I don't like how being with you makes me not able to get with other girls or even flirt with them or do anything else with them". So i got my answer. Now is just the process of moving on. I never new what wasting my time or two years or more of my life was like until now.
basil67 Posted November 20, 2016 Posted November 20, 2016 Those two years weren't wasted if you learn from them. After a period of feeling sadness, you should hopefully have gained more insight into what you will and will not accept in a future partner.
Buddhist Posted November 20, 2016 Posted November 20, 2016 "i don't like how committed you are, how you want to get married and have kids in the future with me. I don't like how being with you makes me not able to get with other girls or even flirt with them or do anything else with them". Not sure it's weird. Just sounds painfully honest. It's obvious he doesn't want to be tied to someone and just wants to play the field. If marriage and a family are your priority then you really need to be dating men over the age of 28. 1
BluesPower Posted November 20, 2016 Posted November 20, 2016 Sarina, be grateful that it was only 2 years... It seems like a long time but at your age it is not. Just take your time before you pick your next guy. This one really seems like he was a creep from the word go.
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