notsointerested Posted November 18, 2016 Posted November 18, 2016 I met a girl online and she was really interested in me, flirting and really eager to talk to me... But I was oblivious to her advancements and by the time I asked her out, she had lost interest and told me she likes someone else and cancelled our meet up. Should I cut my losses now or is there any way to salvage this situation?
Herbalist Posted November 18, 2016 Posted November 18, 2016 Yep move on. She has given you an honest explanation, you know where you stand. If she shows interest in the future, it would likely just be that she is looking for a rebound feel-better fling after things don't work out with the other guy. So don't leave the door open for the possibility.
Author notsointerested Posted November 18, 2016 Author Posted November 18, 2016 Just for the record, she wants to stay "friends" but the meet up has been downgraded to lunch (it was dinner before) but I have this feeling she may cancel again. I guess I'll see her next week now but what can I do?
ChatroomHero Posted November 18, 2016 Posted November 18, 2016 Just for the record, she wants to stay "friends" but the meet up has been downgraded to lunch (it was dinner before) but I have this feeling she may cancel again. I guess I'll see her next week now but what can I do? Be honest with her, were you online to make friends or to look for someone to date. Your answer to that question should give you the answer to your question.
smackie9 Posted November 18, 2016 Posted November 18, 2016 Walk away as fast as you can..............don't bet that dead horse any longer. 1
Miss Peach Posted November 18, 2016 Posted November 18, 2016 She's no longer on the market to date you. If you want to be an orbiter and see if this lasts that's up to you.
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 18, 2016 Posted November 18, 2016 (edited) Maybe you should just wait and see what happens on your lunch date. Personally, I'd cut and run. Why waste more time on someone who told you point blank she's lost interest and likes someone else unless you're a gluten for punishment. Then again, she could be annoyed that you took so long to ask her out that she's making the whole thing up just to punish you and send you a message. In which case I still think it's best to cut and run because she's acting like a child. Your call. Edited November 18, 2016 by Michelle ma Belle
Author notsointerested Posted November 18, 2016 Author Posted November 18, 2016 Maybe you should just wait and see what happens on your lunch date. Personally, I'd cut and run. Why waste more time on someone who told you point blank she's lost interest and likes someone else unless you're a gluten for punishment. Then again, she could be annoyed that you took so long to ask her out that she's making the whole thing up just to punish you and send you a message. In which case I still think it's best to cut and run because she's acting like a child. Your call. She told me that she did like me but she had found someone now. No blame game was played, I could say she could have been more forward, but I thought she was being playful with me cos that is her personality. How should I approach the lunch time meet up? Be honest with her, were you online to make friends or to look for someone to date. Your answer to that question should give you the answer to your question. I thought we were friends at the start, then by the time I caught feelings and realised she liked me, she had moved on to someone else. I think that's the best way I can put it.
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 18, 2016 Posted November 18, 2016 She told me that she did like me but she had found someone now. No blame game was played, I could say she could have been more forward, but I thought she was being playful with me cos that is her personality. How should I approach the lunch time meet up? So if she told you she found someone else, why is she accepting dates with you? If you were the new guy she was interested in would you be okay with her going out with another man? And don't tell me you're just going to try and be 'friends' because we all know that men (especially) don't like to play that game. How to approach the lunch time meet up? I wouldn't entertain it and would let her know that if/when she's over that other guy she knows where to find you. If you don't like that approach then just go with zero expectations apart from having a pleasant meal and conversation and chalk it up to whatever it is. If she expresses more interest than deal with it however you wish but tread carefully. You don't want to invest in something and someone who is likes and is dating other men...unless you want this to casual as well. Good luck.
phineas Posted November 18, 2016 Posted November 18, 2016 Tell her you got enough friends and to hit you up if she wants to date then don't talk to her again unless she is asking you to go on a date. 3
Erik30 Posted November 18, 2016 Posted November 18, 2016 I would cancel lunch and tell her she can give you a call if she changes her mind. She's problaby already hoping you'll cancel anyway, but didn't do it herself because she feels bad about the situation. Maybe some day she'll contact you again, but you should just focus on other girls. You don't want to be her friend and hear about how great this new guy is
Buddhist Posted November 18, 2016 Posted November 18, 2016 Not really no. If I'm passing on someone I've taken my emotions out of the game and no longer consider that person a sexual interest. Even if they were to come back to me later I'd just ignore it and move on. You weren't oblivious to her advances because you clearly know what they were about. You probably thought you could do better or weren't attracted to her. But in the face of no other prospects you've now decided something is better than nothing. She knows this, and she doesn't want to be someone's last resort for a shag. Sorry. But really who does want that?
Author notsointerested Posted November 18, 2016 Author Posted November 18, 2016 So if she told you she found someone else, why is she accepting dates with you? If you were the new guy she was interested in would you be okay with her going out with another man? And don't tell me you're just going to try and be 'friends' because we all know that men (especially) don't like to play that game. How to approach the lunch time meet up? I wouldn't entertain it and would let her know that if/when she's over that other guy she knows where to find you. If you don't like that approach then just go with zero expectations apart from having a pleasant meal and conversation and chalk it up to whatever it is. If she expresses more interest than deal with it however you wish but tread carefully. You don't want to invest in something and someone who is likes and is dating other men...unless you want this to casual as well. Good luck. It's not a date, it's literally just to meet up and have lunch. I just thought, see her in person, maybe that will change her perspective on me (clutching at straws here) and if not then I'll move on. That's my plan anyway. It's just a "I have nothing to lose" situation here, if it works, it works, if not, then oh well.
phineas Posted November 18, 2016 Posted November 18, 2016 It's not a date, it's literally just to meet up and have lunch. I just thought, see her in person, maybe that will change her perspective on me (clutching at straws here) and if not then I'll move on. That's my plan anyway. It's just a "I have nothing to lose" situation here, if it works, it works, if not, then oh well. to be honest, you sound desperate. A confident man with options would not meet a woman for lunch as friends after she told him she found a guy she liked better. At least, that is how she will view it. 2
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 18, 2016 Posted November 18, 2016 to be honest, you sound desperate. A confident man with options would not meet a woman for lunch as friends after she told him she found a guy she liked better. At least, that is how she will view it. I'm going to have to agree with this. Whatever you decide, good luck.
mickeyanne12 Posted November 21, 2016 Posted November 21, 2016 That is a tough situation, but it does look like there is not much you can do if she is moving on. If you need more info. from her to help you move on, having lunch with her could be good for closure. But chasing after her because she's no longer available could lead you to a lot of future heartache.
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