Sure this is done, but just looking for reassurance it had no chance?

[ThisisIt606]

I've been talking to this guy I met on a dating app. He texted A LOT before we first met. Convos throughout the day, every day. Good morning and good night texts. Asking lots of questions to get to know me. I wrote about him earlier, as he has a physical disability that is quite noticable but didn't bother me.

 

He was VERY eager to meet and tried setting up some " the same night dates" but I declined. We finally set a date a couple days out. We met for dinner and had good convo, he invited me for (non alcoholic) drinks after at another restaurant and then drove me home.

 

He continued to text me a lot and went on a trip across the country. He still texted but not as much (busy with friends etc). We both had a hectic week the week he returned. He was also only home for 3 days before he had to leave on another trip.

 

He asked me to meet him the night his flight got in at his place. His flight got very delayed but I met him at his place. He volunteered to pick me up in his airport taxi and said he would be happy to do so or pay for my uber. As the flight was so late, I told him i'd just get my own uber so it wouldn't be so out of his way to get me.

 

We talked, cuddled, and made out. Our shirts(bra) came off but that's it. He tried to undo my pants but I said that's too much. He said sorry and stopped. He grinded up on me a lot and I think he might have orgasamed from it... we both had our pants on.

 

He spoke a LOT about his up coming trips and how he extended some around Thanksgiving bc he didn't want to be alone. He suggested we meet Wednesday if he gets his reading done. He texted me very much in advance saying he was very busy with group projects but would still like like to see me for a bit tonight (wednesday).

 

He then suggested Thursday (said he would try to cancel his school event) but said if I was busy Thursday he would see me tonight (wednesday). I told him Thursday worked well and asked what time? He said between x-x but he still needed to cancel his event.

 

He texted me on and off through out the day today, letting me know what he was up to (class, studying, group projects, he was very stressed). He then texted saying he decided NOT to cancel his Thursday event as it was too last minute and they would have to find a replacement for him. He said he would see me when he get's home from his trip.

 

I told him I'm busy that whole week he returns with my hobby/ late nights doing it and invited him to a show of mine. He just replied "that's awesome"

 

Then he said " I'm only going to be in (our city) 7 days out of the next 60. If that's a problem I understand"

 

I replied it's not ideal, but good to know. I've enjoyed getting to know you. Are you still interested in keeping in touch and seeing each other when we can?"

 

He replied "Yes. I'm not sure about dating now though"

 

I asked what he was looking for and he said he wasn't sure. I explained I was looking to date, bf/gf, and be long term after getting to know the person.

 

He replied he didn't see himself sticking around this area- he's away for most of the summer, and after he graduates he's returning to his home state, so I know his intentions, life wise.

 

I replied that I was confused since on Monday (when we heavily made out) it seemed like you were interested in something more, maybe dating.

 

^ he ignored that and said "it just dawned on me i'm basically going to be gone for the next 2 months. I like talking to you but i'm not looking for anything serious at this moment in time"

 

I replied that " I like talking to you too, but it seems like we're looking for different things. Good luck with everthing coming up"

 

he replied "thank you :)"

 

he later texted he was "going to turn in and have a good night :)"

 

^ I thought we ended things, so idk why he said that/kept talking?? I responded a simple "goodnight"

 

I REALLY did like him. I know it was just a date and a half basically. But his story is so amazing, he's accomplished so much and has done so much. I was very much in awe of him and found him attractive. I was able to over look his disability.

 

When we were making out. I did have the GUT FEELING that he had not done this in a LONG time and he was very happy to be doing it. I also got the feeling I'd never see him again (due to his active trip schedule). I'm upset bc I was willing to support him/be there for him.

 

He had a serious accident that completely changed his life, now requires weekly medical appointments and an alter part of his body. I wonder if part of him was just scared of letting me in, and being completely open with his new body post the accident. I was willing to be there for him, in a relationship.

 

I seriously don't want to toss this away so easy bc I think he's scared about opening up due to his disability/how it left him.

 

BUT putting disability aside there red flags I see for any "healthy/normal guy" 1) said he's not looking for anything serious 2) LOTS of travel and ultimately moving across the country.

 

I know this may seem cut and dry. But please help or talk some sense into me. I really liked this guy, and I think part of me is hurt bc he went back and forth with wednesday and thursday plans with me, but ultimately keeping his own plans. Also hurt that he doesn't seem to see or care that I'm will to accept him, want a relationship, etc and over look what he endured post accident.

[travelbug1996]

Believe him when he says he doesn't want a relationship. Move on. Be glad you didn't go all the way with him. You would be even more humiliated and hurt. Forget about this dude.

 

Frfr

[ThisisIt606]

Well i'm not humiliated bc I met an amazingly accomplished person and I learned more about myself about what I look for and what I can look past.

 

Just disappointed he didn't want a relationship and his constant travels (which would probably be a hinderence even if he did want a relationship)

[Gloomy]

He told you how he feels, I would listen to what he is telling you. If he doesn't want anything serious, he won't change his mind. Trying to convince him otherwise is just going to hurt yourself in the process. He already knows his schedule, and how it would be difficult to fit in dating.

 

I would be happy to know where he stands early on, you are able to move on without much investment.

[Omei]

He wants to get laid between trips

 

Nothing else.