amiasingledad Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 Hello all, I find myself in a horrible situation best described as limbo. In basic summary, my partner of 17 years left 4 months ago, taking our 2 yrd old daughter with her. The relationship was on rocky ground for a good while, mainly because of social anxiety issues I had and the impact it was having on normal life. I was working hard, but basically left my partner to do all the work with the baby, and it was too much for her alone. Added to that, I couldn't be close or loving due to issues and our only meaningful connection was through sex. We did go on days out, taking baby etc but in 18 months, never had a single night to ourselves or went out alone, without baby. Since she has left, I have gone to therapy, cbt, self help books, lots of things and this has not been to get her back but to change myself for the better. Her leaving was the motivation I needed to overcome my issues. I am still working on myself. In the 4 months I have not been able to give her space, constantly messaging her and asking her if there is any chance of reconciliation etc. Our only contact is when we hand over our baby every other day (50 50 access). She says she doesn't know how she feels, if theres any chance of trying again, if she wants to end things etc - all vague and non committal. She wont go to couples therapy, even to assess things and see if there is scope for reconciliation or not. She is currently living with her mums, but will be finding her own property soon, again no consideration of moving back home with our daughter. So, my question is to any relationship experts out there, what is going on. I now I am being strung along, but even when I have said lets be straight and face the ineveitable, she has backed out of confirming its over for good. We don't have any relationship at all at present, she never wants to talk or spend any time with me, so in effect is over and I am realistic about that. But I wonder even if she moves to her own house, will she ever come back or is that the final stage for her to start a new life. I am desperate to try again, make all the changes needed to put things right, but she refuses to give me that platform. So, can anyone please help me make sense of all this. Kind regards
LastAcorn99 Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 I’m very sorry about your situation. Given what you shared, i would suggest that you give your partner the space she needs at this time, but, yes, let her know that you’re willing to work hard to reconcile your relationship. That said, it’s good to know that you’re seeing a therapist for your anxiety issues. I would also encourage you to seek the help of a marriage counselor by yourself, even if she is not willing. Sending you prayers.
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