whoareyou Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 I'm 27 years old and am going on a date with a 38 yr old woman this Friday. She's someone I've been talking to from an online dating app "POF". Why would a woman that is 38 be interested in going out with a guy who is 11 years younger than her? Is she just looking for a hookup with a hot, young guy or is she looking to find a young boyfriend? It really confuses me. Thoughts?
grays Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 Could be either. I'm older than she is and I've had things with guys younger than you that I've met online or IRL. I never go looking for younger guys and, given the choice, I'd rather be w someone a little older than me, actually. BUT, I gotta say that I always have really good experiences w the 20-somethings. I think part of it is they don't put up a lot of defenses. All the older guys seem to think if they're nice for a minute any chick who witnesses it is going to want to marry them and lose her mind over it. I actually find that I can be more emotionally intimate w guys your age without anyone freaking out.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 I'm 27 years old and am going on a date with a 38 yr old woman this Friday. She's someone I've been talking to from an online dating app "POF". Why would a woman that is 38 be interested in going out with a guy who is 11 years younger than her? Is she just looking for a hookup with a hot, young guy or is she looking to find a young boyfriend? It really confuses me. Thoughts? It could be a number of things. She really likes tha attention you're giving her and from a guy 10+ years her junior, it inflates her ego. It depends on where she is in her life. How much she has together. I think most people beyond their early 30s would be flattered to be contacted by someone 10 years younger. I'm in my late 40s and prefer dating someone closer to my age simply b/c some ladies much younger are quite not ready to give up the partying lifestyle. She may not be ready to settle down yet and still looking for the fun and excitement a much younger man will provide. Ask her? Or just enjoy and hope she wants more as it seems you do? 1
frus69 Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 well why are you going out with a woman 11 years older? Maybe she has the same reason? 3
inmyownworld Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 My bf is 8 years younger than me and it seems like there are always questions from people as to why we are together. In the past, I have dated guys much older than me and no one questioned it. No one can say what this particular woman is thinking. Maybe you're just hot or maybe she feels a connection.
Larryville Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 Me wife #1 was 9 years older wife #2 was 12 years older. In those cases both women looked significantly younger than their ages. 19 vs 29 when first met – she was 29 but was only 4’ 10” tall and was maybe 90 pounds she looked like a teenager. I met her on a blind date in a nightclub I thought when I first saw her she that she had a fake ID to get in club. What was weird she was not sure she wanted to date me because I was way too young for her. I did not find out her age until a few meets later… The other 36 vs 47 at time we met (would turn 48 a month or so later) I was very attracted to both, we both really enjoyed each other’s company It depends on where she is in her life. How much she has together. Yes, for me timing played a significant role, they were absolutely the right people at the right time in my life. If you are a nice looking mature, respectful guy that is the attraction. Other side of the coin are YOU dating under your typical match? How does she look compared to those you normally date?
Sunkissedpatio Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 Who approached who on the app? Who made the first move?
smackie9 Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 Don't question it, just go out and enjoy her company....who knows you guys might have a good time....maybe it will lead to something else. Not all older women who date younger guys are cougars.
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 I certainly can't speak for all 'older' women regarding why we accept and date younger men. My reasons may be very different than another woman's. Despite the 11 year age difference, I don't necessarily see that as problem. I'm 47 and seem to date men between 22-34 more often than not. One of the most profound long term relationships I had was with someone 13 years younger. You just never know. Sometimes it's just about sex; it's no secret that young men and older women match up perfectly sexually speaking. Sometimes it's about compatibility; Young men tend to carry less baggage are less jaded while older women know what they want and are often past the drama phase that plagues so many twenty-something year olds. And sometimes it's because that's what we so often attract; Despite wanting and seeking to date men our age, there are a lot of young men who love dating older women. The internet gives so many the courage they often lack in real life. Young men see it as a perfect vehicle to approach older women they might not otherwise approach in real life just as older men use it approach younger women. I mean, why sit at home growing cobwebs waiting for Mr. Age Appropriate when you have a barrel of attractive young men jockeying for our attention? I mean, why are YOU going on a date with her? My advice? Stop overthinking it and just enjoy the date for what it is and let things unfold as it will, naturally and organically. There are a lot of benefits to dating an older woman not the least of which is mind-blowing sex 2
Larryville Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 There are a lot of benefits to dating an older woman not the least of which is mind-blowing sex Yup because they (in many cases) have gotten rid of a bunch of insecurities.
VeveCakes Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 I have dated a few guys that are 10 years younger. Why? Because they were attractive, sweet, and seemed like we had a lot in common. That was it! I never look at age as an issue, moreso the maturity level.
Miss Peach Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 I usually try to focus on 10 years either directions. Most often it's older but in the last few months I had a flurry of younger men. The biggest issue I've had with many of them is maturity. But other than that, most of them were good dates.
ElizabethIII Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 I'm 27 years old and am going on a date with a 38 yr old woman this Friday. She's someone I've been talking to from an online dating app "POF". Why would a woman that is 38 be interested in going out with a guy who is 11 years younger than her? Is she just looking for a hookup with a hot, young guy or is she looking to find a young boyfriend? It really confuses me. Thoughts? Dont flatter yourself. 27 isnt exactly young and you refer to yourself as hot....let her be the judge. Young does not always equal hot. If you are assuming she is a desperate old hag willing to give you sex ....you may be mistaken.
Author whoareyou Posted November 17, 2016 Author Posted November 17, 2016 I certainly can't speak for all 'older' women regarding why we accept and date younger men. My reasons may be very different than another woman's. Despite the 11 year age difference, I don't necessarily see that as problem. I'm 47 and seem to date men between 22-34 more often than not. One of the most profound long term relationships I had was with someone 13 years younger. You just never know. Sometimes it's just about sex; it's no secret that young men and older women match up perfectly sexually speaking. Sometimes it's about compatibility; Young men tend to carry less baggage are less jaded while older women know what they want and are often past the drama phase that plagues so many twenty-something year olds. And sometimes it's because that's what we so often attract; Despite wanting and seeking to date men our age, there are a lot of young men who love dating older women. The internet gives so many the courage they often lack in real life. Young men see it as a perfect vehicle to approach older women they might not otherwise approach in real life just as older men use it approach younger women. I mean, why sit at home growing cobwebs waiting for Mr. Age Appropriate when you have a barrel of attractive young men jockeying for our attention? I mean, why are YOU going on a date with her? My advice? Stop overthinking it and just enjoy the date for what it is and let things unfold as it will, naturally and organically. There are a lot of benefits to dating an older woman not the least of which is mind-blowing sex I love your answer! You made many great points. I'm curious however, you claim to have had a relationship with someone 13 yrs younger. How and why did that relationship last as long as it did? Were there certain traits he had that kept you interested.
Author whoareyou Posted November 17, 2016 Author Posted November 17, 2016 Who approached who on the app? Who made the first move? I sent her a message with a compliment. She responded by saying "Thanks, how are you doing?". I didn't reply and then 3 days later she sent me another message saying "I think you're cute too."; and that's how we got started.
Sunkissedpatio Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 Great so now that we established that you initiated contact with her, maybe you can also answer to yourself why you would initiate contact with someone significantly older than you: is it attraction? do you want to get laid? are you looking for a relationship with an older lady? curiosity? Maybe this will shed a little light into how we older broads think: I get a lot of hits from younger men on OLD even though I am not interested in dating someone considerably younger. If they put enough effort to send me a well-thought-out message or they say something funny etc. I will respond because the message deserves a response. The only way you will know if it is sheer curiosity or actual interest is to ask her out. If she says yes then it could be any or all of the above. If she says no then it was a matter of formality or curiosity.
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 I love your answer! You made many great points. I'm curious however, you claim to have had a relationship with someone 13 yrs younger. How and why did that relationship last as long as it did? Were there certain traits he had that kept you interested. Absolutely! I'm one of those women who needs a connection in order for it to go anywhere, even if it's just in the bedroom. I'm not a robot after all. As for the relationship in question, we had countless things in common and traits that kept each of us interested. We used to always joke around that we often would forget that we had such an age gap (he was 30 when I met him). Yes, the physical attraction was definitely there as was the sexual chemistry but there was soooo much more in terms of over all chemistry and compatibility. He was an incredible communicator, intelligent, was as great of a listener as he was a talker, very self aware, sensitive, kind, well educated, came from a good family and raised with good values and had a beautiful sense of humor. We shared so many of the same interests from books to movies to skiing and yoga, and we landed on the same page when it came such hot button issues regarding religion, politics, family, sex, marriage, relationships, gay rights etc. I finally understood what it meant when people said that age is just a number especially when you find the right partner. Also, we were both 'broken' in our own ways and found what we were desperately looking for in each other. It sounds super corny typing that out but it was true. It helped that we knew we had something super special and we made a very conscious choice to work at it every day. Never got complacent and took nothing for granted. So YES!
BluesPower Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 Good grief... Bud, have you ever been with an older woman that knows what she is doing in the sack? If the answer is no, then shut your mouth and be ready. Treat her like a lady and not like some 20 YO twit. And prepare for one of the best sexual experiences that you have ever had. 1
TheTraveler Posted November 17, 2016 Posted November 17, 2016 I think this is one of those deals where you cast multiple lines because you want any nibble from any women via OLD. It's not really what you want OP, but hey, I got a date Friday! 1
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