Lovezen_30 Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 I've just had my fifth date with a guy, during which he referred to me as his 'girlfriend'! Which, frankly, is too soon for me and seems to have come after we slept together on the last date. We are definitely excluse though. Maybe it's just the label that bothered me considering we are still in the getting to know you phase. Anyway both myself & this guy travel a lot, and as it happens, both became self-employed so we could travel and work. I told him I will be travelling through Italy next year for a month & he discussed my travel plans with me excitedly. But I have longer term plans to work for 8/9 months in Spain where I have friends for just under a year from now - it is something I have wanted to do for a long time before I settle into a career. It's important to me that I take this opportunity. As it happens the place I'm thinking of settling into my career in a couple of years is a place he randomly brought up as being somewhere he would like to live...quite a coincidence as the place isn't that well known. For the next date he is planning a hike & then wants to take me to his home and cook me dinner. When should I mention this future plan - is it too soon and if I need to tell him asap how/when should I do it?
rester Posted November 16, 2016 Posted November 16, 2016 I think it's more important for him to know about a long 8/9 month work situation than it was for him to know about the month in Italy you plan to take. I would tell him soon but there's no urgency to it. The hike would be a good time. 3
Author Lovezen_30 Posted November 16, 2016 Author Posted November 16, 2016 I think it's more important for him to know about a long 8/9 month work situation than it was for him to know about the month in Italy you plan to take. I would tell him soon but there's no urgency to it. The hike would be a good time. Hey Rester, thanks. I know, the month plan came up naturally in conversation because Italy was related to something else we were discussing. I suppose I'm worried about bringing it up during the hike in case it dampens things for the rest of the day (ie. him saying he wants to have dinner together etc as well). Basically I met the guy online & specifically said in my profile I didn't want anything serious because I would be travelling - it seems he may have overlooked this, but truthfully, I think I will fall in love with him if things keep going as they have been. Maybe I could just lead with...so you read my profile, right?
rester Posted November 18, 2016 Posted November 18, 2016 (edited) The conversation may dampen the rest of the day, but hikes are a good casual place to discuss things like this, in my opinion. If he's a rational guy with a good head on his shoulders he should be able to take this news in stride. Not that it wouldn't upset him, but it shouldn't ruin a dinner because of it. I would just come out and tell him when it feels right on the hike. Say something like, "I have something to tell you, and you might not like it...." edit: I reread the OP. You've only been on 5 dates with this guy. I would just come out and tell him what your tentative plans are. I don't see much reason to get too emotional about it. Be matter of fact about it. Edited November 18, 2016 by rester
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