idontnowhattodo Posted July 13, 2005 Posted July 13, 2005 hey guys, just want a bit of unbiased advice/opinions. here's the deal - i've been going out with a guy for 2 months (big deal for me, i have a phobia of committment!), but i'm really missing the freedom of 'singleness'. boyfriend is awesome guy in nearly ever way (may explain why he has 20billion other girls after him, which he happens to keep mentioning...) but anyway. i really really really do like him, i love being around him and just how he makes everything seem ok.. and i know he's quite serious about me too. BUT here's the catch. i'm going overseas for the first time in a few weeks, friends etc. have HIGHLY recommended i be single while i'm over there. i've spoken to him about it, he's just given the usual 'i'll support you in any decision' speech but i KNOW he'll be cut if i do break it off and he's said it won't be the same when i come back even if we do get back together. fair enough i know. i suppose it all comes down to how much i value the relationship which i'm still unsure about as its not quite long distance but long enough not to see each other very often. so... what to do?? theres pros and cons to both - breaking it off would mean i have the freedom i want, but would obviously mean i lose my boyfriend. . not breaking it off would mean i'm restricted but would still have the boyfriend. problem is whether i get with anyone over there, if i'm single, no probs. if i'm not, well... big problems. i guess i'm sounding really selfish right now but if anyone has anything to say that may help me out just a little??
Merin Posted July 13, 2005 Posted July 13, 2005 My take.. IF you're already planning to potentially hook up with someone else while you're gone then my feeling is, break things off with this Guy. While yeah it does seem that you like him, you're obviously NOT ready to be in a committed relationship at this time.
mental_traveller Posted July 13, 2005 Posted July 13, 2005 He's pretty much telling you that he is going to go for his 2nd choice (or 3rd or 4th) unless you make your mind up. Since your mind is obviously not made up, you might as well be straightforward and tell him. I recommend you keep open the option of getting in touch a bit later. He might say he doesn't like it, but who knows in 3 months he might have broken up with one of his 2nd string dating prospects and be back on the market - if you're available too and have had your little holiday fling(s), then you might be more ready to get serious with him. So I saw put it on ice for now, but keep open the prospect of something later, and get back in touch if you have a change of heart.
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